Sing Me a Song and I'll Tell You a Story - Page One

••• today's entry continues here •••

I did the math (2023-2016) and came up with 7. Seven is a good number. I'm sure you would agree. The number of perfection.

I could write a nice little thing, you know, about you and the concept of perfection .. and how each plays off the other.

I could do this very easily. I mean, it's kind of what I been doing for years now.

What I'd really like to do, though, is simply highlight the songs over the years that have spoken most to me.

And maybe even include what they are saying to me.

I could probably get in trouble if I did this. And then I would surely be banned in many countries.

You have many kick-ass songs. Because you have such a kick-ass voice. But some songs are super-kick-ass. (SKA)

I can feel the slipperiness of this slope already. So I will simply drop this teaser here and take a step back from the brink.

Happy anniversary, girly. Seven years is respectable staying power. Admirable endurance for anybody. I bet that Bradley Cooper would agree.

Especially with all shit that has happened in between.

Before I get carried away looking back with the advantage that hindsight brings .. I first want to mention that spring arrives tomorrow with the equinox, on March 20, at 2:24 PM PDT.

I mention this because spring is the time of new beginnings, which will play prominently into today's narrative.

Tomorrow afternoon the sun slips silently across the equator on it's annual return trip north .. to the tropic of cancer.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day here. The first gorgeous day we've had in a while.

It can get chilly, you know, down by the water.

Especially at night.

Yesterday felt like spring had arrived. I overheard folks talking here-n-there, saying what a nice day it was.

But I want to post this entry today, which is actually the last day of winter.

Because today is our anniversary, and I want to play off that day.

Look at me grabbing a timestamp at one minute past midnight.

You might think I'd been perched there in anticipation, waiting for the exact moment when the Worldclock struck midnight .. to signal that the 19th had arrived.

And you'd be right.

I normally try to avoid looking too eager. But I have been thinking about this for a week now. Anticipating.

» There I was .. Minding My Own Business

There is a story, of course, behind my ponderings along these lines. But I do not want to get into that right now. I want to save that story for later.

But you can jog my memory by reminding me of the day a week ago when I walked into a coffee shop there in Hillcrest ..

.. and Dangerous Woman was playing on the speakers.

It did not start playing after I walked in, no. It was already playing when I opened the door.

And the girl behind the counter was singing along with you. And doing a respectable job herself. So I was hearing Dangerous Woman sung live in my ear. Whew.

Suffice to say that I was not expecting that. That caught me completely off guard. But when I walked out, with my coffee in hand .. I was thinking of a million different things at once.

One of these thoughts was, "Wow. I feel like a completely different person."

I was feeling exhilarated yet relax at the same time.

Before I heard your singing DW there in the coffee shop, I was thinking about how Jimmy Carter is going into hospice.

I know about hospice. My mom went into hospice. Hospice people are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Hospice is a place that people go from which they don't return.

I thought the timing of his decision was curious .. being so close to the ides of March.

Anyway, I am no longer thinking of a million different things. But I have been thinking about some things. About this and that and the other.

It's not like I was trying to, or planning to .. think on these things. But sometimes thoughts and ideas seem to come to you on their own. What can you do?

And sometimes these thoughts and ideas and very cool. Sometimes they are inspiring, and perhaps even challenging.

It is very difficult for me to set aside such thoughts and ideas .. and not engage with them. Perhaps even impossible.

I have found that the words seem flow easily in your direction.

The geek in me likes to figure things out. But the obvious thing is that you do it for me. In a natural, effortless sort of way.

And the synchronicity with you just keeps clicking .. like nobody's business.

» Final Thing I Needed to Make the Move Feel Complete

Regarding synchronicity and things that can sound crazy .. I want to note that this day, when I unexpectedly heard you singing Dangerous Woman in that coffee shop ..

.. this was the first time that I was able to provide someone with my new ID card, which has my new address on it. My SD address. My PO box, SD, CA. 92112.

Before that day, I had been using my previous ID, which had my old Fallbrook address. They are good for years, plus everything was grandfathered during the pandemic.

This means nothing to anybody but me, but using that old ID nonetheless bothered me because it reminded me of the way I was mistreated there a few years ago .. after the Judge died. My protector.

I cannot tell you the sense of satisfaction I felt when I was finally able to hand that lady, for the first time, my new ID card along with health ins card

Might seem like a little thing, especially after living here for two years now. But your ID dictates to others key identifying components of your identity.

Your identity is very important, you know. Your sense of self. Who are are. Everything about you helps define your sense of self. Your identity.

Remind me to talk to you about the quote from that sociologist .. who said that others help build our sense of self.

Because I like to do this. I like to help build your sense of self. Because you are so cool. And you sing so good.

Anyway, key aspects of our identity are contained there on our ID cards. Or on your driver's license. (I have not had driver's license since 2009.)

We are identified by our address. By where we live. Street number and name. By where we grow roots. We spread out from there.

We are identified by three things.

1. Name.
2. Address
3. Facial photo

Once folks know these things about you, then they usually want to know what you do. What you do for money. What you do for a living. Your occupation.

» The Day I Went to DMV was a Big Day for Me

I had to visit DMV to renew my ID with new local address.

I actually made appt last summer to do this. But then I had to move to another unit. The whole freaking hallway had to move. Long, crazy story.

Anyway, I cancelled that appt because the ID didnt expire til January. And I never got around to rescheduling. Until it was going to expire.

The interface for scheduling an appt offered me three different times, all on the same day.

Like 10, 10:30 or 11? Take it or leave it. This is not a very flexible option, if you ask me.

This DMV is always packed like sardines. I had to wait a month for earliest appt.

The day they gave me, the only day they offered me, was February 2.

I want to visit DMV so I can get my new local SD address on my new ID card.

I'm a local boy now. I have become such the city-boy. So my ID should say as much, right?

After they took picture on 2nd, it took them two weeks to send the new card. I'd stopped by PO few days earlier, but it wasn't there yet. Oh the disappointment.

» Felt Like the Universe Wanted Me to Visit the DMV on this Particular Day

What do you think about this, girly?

What do you think about this existential factoid that the day I went to the DMV to change my ID from there to here .. the only available option presented to me .. was on February 2?

That was the day last year when I wrote » Nobody Does it for Me Like She Does (2 Feb 2022).

That was very cool entry. On a very cool date. Where I wrote some cool things.

What do you think about that? I did not think very much about it.

I took note of the date, and I remembered what the date meant last year. But I could not see how you could possibly be connected to my ID card. (Still can't.)

Then I just so happened to hear you singing DW on the day I had my first opportunity to present someone with this card. (My new therapist. Another long story.)

» This Feels Like a Death in the Family

Regarding my therapist .. I don't have him anymore. I had him since 2018. When the panic attack hit.

I don't know if it would be correct to say that he got fired. But he told me it "wasn't my choice."

The girl from the office called and left message saying he no longer worked there, and that I should call if I want to reschedule with another therapist.

I do not not want another therapist. Especially not long-distance.

That felt like a huge loss. Because it was. He was one on my three closest confidants and advisors.

Completely unexpected and out of the blue. Very disorienting. I told Patti, "This feels like a death in the family."

He was an outstanding therapist. Intuitive and insightful and educated. Got his degree from USC, where he met his wife. His ex-wife, that is. With whom he had a child. I did not meet the evil ex, but I met his new wife. The nice, sweet new wife. At the coffee shop.

He was good dad. We bonded over parenting stories with a hostile ex, and USC.

Bad as my story seemed, it always surprised me to see how much worse other folks had it. Sometimes I would walk out of there feeling sorry for him. Like his shit was so much worse .. that it actually made mine seem less significant.

You can be sure that, no matter how bad it gets, somebody else has it worse. Probably a lot worse.

But I digress.

I learned a lot from him. Therapy is very much an education .. where you learn techniques and strategies for dealing with all kinds of shit that life throws at us.

Anyway, these kinds of curious circumstances, like with my new ID card .. these existential things lining up in these ways .. things that are beyond my control. Well beyond.

There seems to be a message there. This is why I ask. Because I am curious about your perspectives.

Sometimes it feel like forces bigger than us are pulling strings and manipulating things.

Or maybe these things are the results of influences you have had on me over the years. Maybe these things are the effects of other things.

This is the end of this page. ■

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