Is This Not a Trippy Coincidence?

This entry originated here » Anxiety and Depression - Page One (27 July 2018).

» Am I Feeling this Girl More than I Realize?

Girly, I noticed that you just released a song titled » breathin (23 Aug 2018). Dont you think that this is a trippy coincidence? (Given the lyrics.)

I posted my page on anxiety back on July 27, a month before you posted your breathin single. And you had also said some things along these lines with Jimmy on August 16th.

Maybe I am feeling you even more than I realize. Do you think that this is some kind of sympathetic sort of thing?

When you really love someone, you accept them flaws-n-all, no?

But, when I started having these attacks, I did not know that you were also having them. Heck, I didnt even know what they were myself. I didnt know what was happening.

I am normally very good at handling and dealing with anxiety.

You're right that it is like the worst feeling. Afterwards I thought, "I can see why they use waterboarding. It produces severe anxiety .. not being able to catch your breath."

It sucks very badly. It feels like a form of torture. Especially when it seems like it is not going to stop. And when you dont know what is happening.

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One Month into Antidepressants

This page continues from here » Anxiety and Depression - Page Three (27 July 2018).

» One Month into Antidepressants

It has now been one month since I started taking these antidepressants. I started with half a pill for the first two weeks, and then transitioned to a full pill (50 mg).

I confess that I didnt really notice any effects from the antidepressant. A few times I caught myself thinking, "I feel happy .. but I can't think of anything different to make me feel happy. So maybe this is how the antidepressant is making me feel."

I mean, the opposite ( anti ) of feeling depressed is » feeling happy, no?

But, for the most part, I felt different only when I took the Propanolol or the Ativan.

The Propanolol takes me straight to Chillsville, and the Ativan eliminates any hint of anxiety. (I only take half an Ativan, because I have to make these 5 pills last the whole month. So I only take them when I really need them.)

I can't say that I notice any effects from the Ativan, except for all anxiety going away. It is really is remarkable stuff .. when it comes to stripping away anxiety. But if I didnt have any anxiety, I dont think that I would feel anything from taking the Ativan.

On the other hand, I can definitely feel the effect of the Propanolol. If you have ever experienced turbulence while riding in a jet, then Propanolol makes everything seem smooth and relaxed. You feel chill. Not quite tired, but heading in that general direction.

I take the Zoloft at night before bed. I do feel tired after taking it, but I am already tired, because I am ready for bed. So I can't really say for sure that the antidepressant makes me tired.

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Your Foot Must be Starting to Get Very Sore

» Better Get that Baby in a Bucket of Ice Right Away

Girly, your foot must be starting to get very sore right about now .. from kicking so much ass.

Ariana singing GiaW 2018 VMAs Radio City NYC 20 August

[ What do you think, lovergirl, of this shot of you that I grabbed here? This was a very challenging image for me to work with. I kept cropping it down more and more. Can you see why? I see you, girly. Are you doing this on purpose? What a look. I am so glad that we will always be in love forever. Can you blame me? I see that you have your hair down here. ]

You should probably get that puppy in a bucket of ice right away. I hear that this can help keep down the swelling.

My brother is a surgeon who specializes in feet. Lots of bones in the feet. Anatomy 101. So I can get you a good deal.

I mean, if you keep kicking ass like this, then who knows what kind of shape your foot is going to be in?

You want to ice it off-n-on for the first 48-72 hours. Then transistion to heat and massage to promote healing.

Let me know if you need help with the massage part. (Girls tell me all the time what nice hands I have .. if you really must know.)

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Titanic in a Single Take

I think that we are really no-shit in love .. for all intents and purposes. It definitely feels that way.

Ariana singing My Heart Will Go On (13 Aug 2018)

I see you here, girly .. with your back to audience. I see you. Dont think that I missed that.

You sing so good sometimes that I can hardly stand it.

This was a very creative endeavor .. especially the way you used parts of all those (13) songs .. and all those different sets.

You visit and explore, ever so briefly, so many different emotions.

I can feel the part of me that creates universes being impressed.

James is very good at this type of thing. He was holding his own. (I can tell that he really likes you.)

I particularly like the way you balance the tragedy with comedy. The comedy helps you better handle the tragedy.

I see your bandage. Looks like you got yourself an owie there on your hand. Do you want me to kiss it and make it all better?

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Anxiety and Depression - Page Three

This page continues from here » Page Two (27 July 2018).

» Demi Lovato

Speaking of combining opioids with benzos .. remind me to talk about Demi Lovato.

Opium poppies

In particular, notice where Dr. Drew says (« at t=1:00):

"And if you add those (opiate pills) to a benzodiazepine, which celebrities get their hands on all the time, they frequently stop breathing. It's a common problem."

I had never heard this before. But the reason why I mention it here is because it resonates with my own experience of combining opiates with benzos (Ativan is a benzo) .. where it felt like I wouldnt breathe unless I consciously thought about breathing.

Opium poppies

But I admit that I am something of a lightweight when it comes to drugs. They seem to have a greater effect on me than they do on most other people.

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Anxiety and Depression - Page Two

This page continues from here » Page One (27 July 2018).

» My First Time on Antidepressants

He prescribed for me some Zoloft (Sertraline).

Ball-n-stick model of Zoloft (Sertraline)

Which is a » Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) .. which is used to treat things such as » depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder.

» Better Living Through Chemistry

I have never taken antidepressants before. I am one of the few people I know who havent tried them. (I remember that Maria had a hard time getting off of them.)

I could tell that this guy knew what he was talking about .. so I trusted him.

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Anxiety and Depression - Page One

» Longest Blood Moon of the Century

Today is the longest blood moon of the entire twenty-first century.

Century's longest blood moon eclipse 27 July 2018

Although we won't be able to see it here on our side of the planet.

Such eclipses are all about precise alignments. Today the earth is aligning with both the sun and the moon in a remarkably precise manner.

I wonder what such celestial alignments might mean.

» Anxiety Inducing Event

At the beginning of this month, I received information that most people would find both depressing and anxiety inducing.

On an intellectual level, I dismissed this thing as merely annoying .. because it was not life-threatening, and I had already dealt with a life-threatening situation.

Anything that is not life-threatening seems like small potatoes by comparison, and I have already lived through much worse.

Nevertheless, right about the same time, I began having symptoms where, for brief periods, I could not seem to catch my breath .. even when I wasnt doing anything physical.

I have never experienced anything like this before.

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I Am So Glad that We Will Always be in Love Forever

Right now the time is 11:46 PM on 16 July 2018 .. and this page is live. I was cutting it a little close there.

When I list the time as 7:16 PM, this is not the real time that I posted this page. This is simply a numeric reflection of the date. (July is the seventh month.)

All of my entries correspond to this same pattern. This is just a quirky thing that I do. The date is really the thing that matters .. the important thing.

If the time matters in an entry, then I will specifically note it. Sometimes it does matter, but not normally.

» Must be Today

Sometimes (not always) I feel as though I need to start a certain page on/by a certain day. Today is one such day.

I admit that this is something of a quirky thing with me. I dont know anybody else who has a quirky thing like this. (I normally try to avoid quirky things.)

The feeling behind such things is that you will surely die .. if you dont do this thing. Maybe not die, some bad shit for sure.

11:59 PM is okay .. but midnight, which begins the new day, is not. So I dont want to cut it too close.

I can fill in the page later, but the actual HTML structure needs to be up-n-live on/by a certain day.

Now, after midnight .. then I am free to do whatever I like. More or less .. depending.

I can feel a sense of timing at play. Timing is important .. along with the ability to execute a complex skill-set in a timely fashion.

» Good to be Loved

As coincidence would have it ... I am listening right now to » Could You be Loved .. on a mix playlist .. where one of the lines that the Rastafarian sings is »"It's good to be loved."

And I think, "True that."

I am not sure what I will be writing in this entry .. but I know that I will have lots of fun doing it.

Girly, do you work your thing like this on everybody? Or, is it just me?

I am not sure how you are doing it .. but there is just something irresistible about you. And it's not just one thing, either.

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This page continues from here » Page Two.

» A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

America is learning a lot about itself these last few years.

Nighttime rally by white supremacists at Charlottesville VA August 11, 2017

It is not a pretty picture.

Nazi flag and Confederate flag marching together side-by-side in Charlottesville, VA. August, 2017

But at least we know better where we stand.

President Trump identifies with and defends hate groups in America

And who stands for what.

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This page continues from here » Page One.

» His Foot has Slipped

When I saw Trump hold up the executive order after signing it ..

Trump signs XO with Kirstjen Nielsen ending refugee children being separated from their parents 20 June 2018

.. the one ending refugee children being separated from their parents .. after fleeing violence and threats of violence in their home countries (Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador) ..

Map of Central America

.. when I saw him hold up that executive order .. the voice in my head said, "His foot has slipped. The day of his calamity is near."

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