Souls Who Accompany You into Your Own Dark Night of the Soul

••• today's entry continues here •••

I will be using this image here of Lisa from her Lalisa video (10 Sep 2021).

"How am I going to use this image?" you ask?

Not so fast. You don't get to be a master of anticipation by giving everything away on page one. No.

Some things need to be teased out.

» When the Longest Night is the Darkest Night

Before I take off my jacket, I want to note how this year's solstice is an exceptionally dark one. Look at the moon phases here.

Moonrise - Moonset - Time - Distance - Illumination

The moon during the solstice, on the 21st, is only 4% illuminated. There is almost no moonlight this year to light the longest of nights.

It is going to be an exceptionally dark winter solstice this year. This does not change what I am going to write, but it plays nicely into my narrative.

The new moon falls on the 23rd. You can see the solid black circle there beside the date.

I happen to know a lot about the darkness. More than I would ever care to know. Much more.

» The Winter Solstice has Arrived

Speaking of the winter solstice, look what I found.

I could feel a cold, winter chill blow in today.

The sun reaches its southerly most point of travel at the solstice. This is where it stops, so to speak .. right over the Tropic of Capricorn.

.. before turning around and heading back north.

» A Stroll Down Memory Lane During the Winter Solstice

For last year's winter solstice, I wrote an entry titled » The Heart of the White Evangelical has Become Calloused and Hardened and Morally Unfeeling (21 Dec 2021)

Sometimes the obvious needs being said. Russell Moore knows what I am talking about.

Before that, it was » Embracing the Nadir (21 Dec 2020), which is a sexy sounding title. If you didn't know what a nadir was, then you might be jealous.

The nadir is low as you can go. The bottom. All the way down. The suckiest part of the suck.

David knows what I am talking about.

That was a bad place .. where I became perona non grata extraordinaire.

It was where I felt despised and rejected and even hated, at times. More than a few times, my friend.

I felt like they resented the water I used. (Because they told me they did.) I felt like the resented the space I consumed. (Because they told me they did.)

Sometimes I even felt like they resented the air I breathed. In other words, my very presence. Though this was never spoken outright, it was communicated in much more practical ways.

That's why I'm so glad to be out of there .. where I felt like a captive, living under the watchful eye of my QAnon overlords.

» Writing with the Eyes of a Censor Ever Looking Over Your Shoulder

Sometimes I should write about what it is like to write under the watchful eye of somebody is who against everything that you are for.

Dostoevsky wrote under censors. The Czar's censors. He couldn't write just any ol' thing, no. There were always a pair of eyes looking over his shoulder.

I do not know that kind of censorship, but I do have a feel for censorship in general. My previous living arrangements gave me many, many insights into the phenomenon of censorship. .

In 2019, I posted an entry titled » The Stab-of-Regret Visits the Capricorn on the Solstice (21 Dec 2019).

This is text I had written before that time. But the source page was growing too large, so the solstice seemed like the perfect time to offload that section to its own page.

Who has not realized the true value of a lover .. until it was too late? This is nearly universal experience for guys.

In 2018, I posted five pages under the title » Starving Writer SOS. These pages are dated Nov 1st, but this is very much typical of a winter solstice entry.

I have some interesting commentary I could add to that experience. But now is not the time for that.

» The Thing that Makes the Dog the Dog

Regarding today's title, I am going to talk about » the thing that makes the dog the dog.

The dog is a Columbia boy. He is a member of an elite, exclusive club. He is a strong runner. He inspires me to be a better human being, and to continually upgrade my interpersonal skills.

I want to set out this point here early on. Because it is easy for me to get distracted when I am flirting with industrial-strength talent. (Know thyself, urged the ancients.)

I try to impress them. I fan out my writer's peacock feathers for them, and strut about like nobody's business.

But I am going to build today's entry on the thing that makes the dog the dog. This remarkable trait of his.

» Like What Now, Lisa?

Speaking of the darkest of the dark, and the pain you bring ..

It may be worth mentioning here that the thing about Shut Down that speaks most to me .. is when you rap » Know it ain't fair to ya.

This is very much the theme of the last entry I posted before you released Born Pink and I started feeling your pain.

This bar makes me think of something my son said to me once at a Wahoos in Costa Mesa.

.. while we were coming out with our bellies full of Wahoos yumminess.

Because this was when we were going to look for a bus. Because the county took away my driver's license.

And this was where I told him that, "You know, the reason why I can't drive is because the court says I'm not paying your mom enough money."

And he said, "That's not fair."

He said it emphatically. I said, "You're right. It's not. But, much of life isn't fair, I am finding."

That was all I ever said about it. But he should know, right? I mean, it is affecting him directly. And it was the truth.

In the court's eye, she could do no wrong. And I could do no right. Which is why they sent me to jail on multiple occasions. Thank-you, very much.

So you're right: it's not fair to me. You knew this would get my attention. You are very good at that. At getting my attention. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

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