The Art of Giving Shit - Page One

Speaking of stories .. girly, the Dog called recently to say hi. He is very good about staying in touch. And I remembered the story that I told you and Nicki about whispered secrets.

Ariana whispering secrets to Nicki in Side to Side

After the niceties were over, I said, "Dog, do you remember that time we went to the Lollipop?"

Girly, the Dog didnt even say anything. There was a delicious empty silence on the other end of the phone.

You could almost hear his long-dormant neurons being activated .. as they lit up neural circuitry all the way back to our days in Waikiki.

A few seconds later he just started laughing. And it was the type of laughter that told me that I have him right where I want him.

It's not easy to catch the Dog off balance like this. So I was proud of myself. (Timing is everything, you know.)

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And he says a tentative, "Yeah." But he can tell already that I have him at a disadvantage. Because the Dog's memory is not as good as mine. (Even tho he is no dummy.)

Then I said, "Do you remember where we went after the Lollipop?" (You cannot possibly imagine how much fun this was for me.)

The Dog feels around a little, trying to get his bearings and he says somewhat confidently, "We went to the Sugar Mill."

"That's right," I said, very calmly, so as not to let him know where I am going with this thing. "Do you remember what happened when we got there?"

Now I really have him. He starts laughing again. Nervous laughter .. because he knows his ass is mine.

He starts somewhat unsure of himself, "Yeah .. we ordered.."

And I jumped in and said, "We? No, dog .. not we. You .. you ordered."

It was so much fun working him like that. I was working his ass mercilessly. He totally deserved it.

Notice how people try to blame me for shit that is not my fault. Sometimes I think there must be a sign hanging on my back, saying, "Blame me."

I love the Dog.

He has gotten me way more times than I've gotten him. So it felt extra special good to get him like this.

» When Giving Shit Means I Love You

The Dog is so good at fucking with you and giving you shit that it actually makes you feel good when he does it. He makes you feel like he loves you.

[ It should be obvious, but worth noting nonetheless .. that there is a huge difference between 'giving shit' and 'giving a shit.' ]

And he always brings a valid point that he works from. Or, at least, a pseudo-valid point.

[ Whereas I grew up with one brother and no sisters .. the Dog grew up with one sister, and no brothers. ]

This is how guys have fun with each other .. giving each other shit when they deserve it.

Girly, both you and the Dog make me feel less alone in the world. There are very few people who make me feel that way.

I was giving my son dog-style shit when I took this photo of him. I forget what I was giving him shit about .. but he did not seem too terribly bothered by it.

He loved it when I gave him shit. (He has given me way more shit than I've given him.)

MGK giving this kid shit about rapping naughty lyrics

[ Here is an image from MGK's Bad Things » behind the scenes .. where he is giving this kid shit about rapping naughty lyrics. ]

I learned how to do that from the Dog. This is another reason why I love the Dog.

» Kids Always Want to Do Exactly What You Tell Them They Shouldnt

Here is a photo of my son at 2 years old, after his evening bath, climbing out of the crib.

I would say, "You better not climb out of that crib, Buck-o .. or you'll be in big trouble. Big, big trouble. Dont even think about it."

Climbing out of the crib at 2 years old

Whatever I told him that he better not do .. that is always exactly what he wanted to do. "Look at my leg, dad. Look what I'm doing."

[ This is close to the age that he was when that girl said, "I want one just like that." Can you blame her? He is the reason why people tell me that I make good babies. As you can see, I put a lot of effort into him. Effort and love. From day 1. I'm sure you can see it. It's right there in his eye. You can't miss it. Super-human. It's not easy to be a good dad when people are calling the police and child protectives services every other day for years on end to tell them that you are a horrible dad. In their opinion, of course. That shit takes a toll on you after a while. And the courts seem only too eager to oblige. You try to not let that toll affect your kids .. but I can assure you that it's not as easy as I make it look. ]

For this shot I held the camera at my chest (for a more natural shot) and was saying to him, "Do not dare try to climb out of that crib, mister .. or you will be very sorry."

Look at my leg, dad .. look what I'm doing.

Does he look very sorry to you? When a child looks at you with eyes like this .. this is indescribably delicious. (Or when he touches your face like this.)

I submitted some of these photos with my responses to the court. "Does he look like he's being abused?" I asked.

Notice how, in the other three photos of him posted here, he seems to be hamming it up for the camera .. which I am pointing at him. He is being cute and he knows it. (He knows how to work me.) Mr. "Guapo," as the old Mexican lady called him.

But this one here is just us having fun. "Look at my leg, dad."

There was a period there, for quite a stretch .. when I wasnt sure if I'd be seeing him the next week. You cannot imagine how that fucks with your head. That is some kind of exquisite mind-fucking right there.

This is why I always wanted the current week to be as cool as possible .. filling him with as much love and affection and attention as I possibly could.

» The Prophet Who Turns the Hearts of the Fathers to the Children

And dont think that Cormac McCarthy doesnt have a little something to do with the sparkle in that boy's eye.

Cormac McCarthy (1933- ) | The Real Deal

This is why Cormac reminds me of Elijah the prophet. Cormac has a young son himself, by the way. His name is John.

Cormac McCarthy is the real deal. (And he knows it.)

» Modeling Good Parenting Techniques (Not Bad Parenting)

I should probably note here that I learned more about how to be a good parent from the Film school girl .. than from anyone else. She was dedicated and devoted to her kids more than anyone I had ever met.

She told me many times how she felt that her own mother was not there for her and her brothers .. while they were growing up.

Maria and Grandma Nancy at the Irvine Bowl in Laguna Beach

And she was determined not to repeat those same mistakes with her own kids.

I very much admired and respected her for this. She would drive all the way back from USC (in LA) to Laguna Beach in order to make it to one of her daughter's high school plays. She even went when she was feeling sick as shit.

She never missed .. not even one play. (Ever.) If you have ever tried to be that kind of parent, then you know how difficult it is.

» Correcting Dysfunctional Parenting or Repeating It with Your Own Kids

There is a thing, where some people, when they grow up and become parents themselves, correct in their own parenting practices the shortcomings and the dysfunctions that they suffered at the hands of their own parents.

While other parents seem to simply repeat the patterns-of-dysfunction that their own parents visited upon them. (Which they probably learned from their own parents.)

And they frequently become even more dysfunctional than their own parents were .. adding their own special flavor of dysfunction to what they learned from their parents.

I dont really understand how a parent can repeat the very same behaviors with their own children that they suffered at the hands of their parents while they were growing up.

I have had people tell me things like, "I dont want my mother to raise my children," and "I never leave my children alone with my mother."

I mean, I can certainly see how a child who grew up in a dysfunctional home would become familiar with dysfunctional parenting techniques.

But what are they learning? Are they learning what things not to do to their own kids? Or are they really learning how to trick-fuck their own kids?

Anybody who grew up with shitty parents and then became good parents themselves .. I very much admire that. (Because I know how difficult it can be .. to turn around such things.)

» Loving with a Genuine Love Requires a Purified Soul

It may be worth noting here how this verse of scripture seems to be talking about how (paraphrasing) » loving with a genuine love comes from a soul that has been "purified" (.. by "obeying the truth" ).

This is actually a gigantic subject .. into which I could easily get lost .. seeing that I know quite a bit about love and loving. Particularly the genuine kind that Peter is referencing.

But my point here, and the reason why I am mentioning this verse here .. is because it seems to suggest that loving with a genuine love requires "purification".

This notion resonates with my own experience. And I can tell you that this "purifying" thing is not easy.

No, sir. Not hardly. Au contraire. It feels like your soul is being ripped apart. Or like a part of you is dying. In other words, it's not much fun.

Yet it is the thing that gives you the ability to love with a genuine love. So, what's the alternative?

» Some People are Easier to Love than Others

And yes, I understand that some people are easier to love than others. Sure, I get that. I get that better than most people. Much better. Much, much better.

I have consciously endeavored to love some people who were not very lovely .. in order to explore this very topic in detail. In much detail.

I would love the unlovely with a similar mind set as athlete in the gym lifting heavy weights .. in order to help build my love-muscles.

This is why I am able to speak to such things with the confidence and authenticity that comes with an abundance of firsthand experience.

Some people make you feel so loved .. while others manage to make you feel hated. No?

There is nothing quite like the feeling of being genuinely loved by a truly beautiful creature. The way that they are able to make you feel .. this is the thing that inspired me in that direction. I wanted to be able to make people feel like that.

Note that this entry continues here » The Art of Giving Shit - Page Two.

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on January 11, 2017 1:11 PM.

Connecting with the Soul Behind the Dazzle - Page Two was the previous entry in this blog.

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