Recently in anxiety and depression Category

Trick-Fucked on the Outskirts of Trigger-City

This page continues from an entry titled » Remembering the Day I was Delivered from the Authority of Darkness (19 March 2022).

» Perfect Timing

You know, as fate would have it .. I received that big $1,400 stimulus check the very first week I arrived here. The timing could not have been better.

The child support people took my other check. They took it and they didn't even tell me. I figured they took it, but cousin Patti put her foot down.

She said, "No. You cannot just have money out there that the Stimulus people said they deposited into your account .. but you don't know where it is."

I said, "Okay, I'll call 'em Monday morning .. but I know they took it. They are always taking my money. Many times they have drained my entire account of even the last penny. I may have to medicate before I call, but I will call."

She said, "If they took it, then you will know what happened to your twelve-hundred dollar stimulus. But you cannot not know."

If I had the money, I would gladly pay twelve hundred bucks to not have to talk to them. About anything. Ever.

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Contents of this page were lifted from an entry titled » Blowing My Mind on a Regular Basis (22 Feb 2022).

» Thank God for Rescuing Me from the Authority of Darkness Where I Felt Rejected and Despised

The writing feels different today, no? I am so fucking happy that I can hardly stand it.

Cousin Patti said she can totally feel my happy vibe in my texts and emails. I try to keep them posted.

I lean on them so much when shit goes bad .. that, when things are going bright-n-sparkly for me .. then I try to reciprocate and show my appreciation when I can, like now.

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Embracing the Nadir

This page continues from an entry titled » Now You've Really Gone and Done It (20 Dec 2020, yesterday).

Embracing the Nadir .. lyrically,  I like this title. It makes your mouth and your mind do cool things at the same time when you say it.

Your tongue and your lips get to dance around for long as it takes your mouth to articulate the sounds aloud.

I am very much into cool titles. Fitzgerald is probably my favorite titler. I like his titles. I like them a lot. For many reasons. Many different reasons.

Then you have the long-a sound in both embracing and nadir .. which tends to stretch out the utterance a tad. The vocals, if you will.

It gives you a little more time to think about exactly what it is that you are saying. I mean, folks will generally do whatever it takes to avoid their nadir .. no?

Who does not know exactly what I am talking about? "Pass me the Valium, bro. And the Zoloft, too. Heck, just hand me the whole box."

But a cool-sounding title means nothing without some substance behind it .. and some supporting structure underneath it.

The bigger and more weighty your message .. the stronger and more durable your supporting structure needs to be.

This being the shortest day of the year - for those of us living here in the northern hemisphere - I thought it clever and apropos to post this title today. On this particular day.

(Plus, it will give me a good excuse to flirt with super-hotties .. something I always like to do as a temporary respite from chronicling the end of the world .. which isnt the funnest thing I have ever done.)

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Soul Capture

It is actually still only the 30th of September right now.

Timestamp Wednesday Sept 30 2020 10:02 PM PDT San Diego

It won't be the 1st of October for a few more hours.

I was outside a little while ago and it was still very warm. The air is warm and dry and still. It reminded me of the nights I spent in the desert.

Hotel California weather. Colitas werent the only thing I was smelling those nights.

» Held Up Again by Super-Hotties

You know, I tried to capture this image here at exactly 10:01, as a way of mirroring the date, which is also 10-01.

(It's a quirky thing of mine.)

But I missed it. I was late by a minute. I was busy flirting with a super-hottie, and she wouldnt let me go.

I said, "I need to go. I need to go chronicle the end of the world."

She said, "Just five more minutes."

I said, "You said that an hour ago."

She said, "I know, but this time I really mean it."

I am not making excuses here, and blaming super-hotties .. but this is why I am late.

I won't mention any names, but she knows who she is.

Elena Fraules seated at an table outdoors with a glass of bubbly and obviously looking for somebody (22 Sep 2020)

I will try not to let it happen again .. because I know how important timing can be. (Eddie Glenn knows what I am talking about.)

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Desperate People Do Desperate Things

Time right now is 11:53 PM .. and the structural HTML for this page is live.

Timestamp Worldclock San Diego 3 August 2020 11:53 PM

Tonight is the August full moon. Groups of coyotes have been howling loudly the last few nights.

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Tropic of Cancer

For what it's worth .. time right now is » 2:20 PM, here on the left coast. And this page is live.

Timestamp 2:20 PM for Saturday, 20 June 2020, San Diego time, summer solstice

Today is the summer solstice. The word solstice means 'sun stopping.'

This is the exact moment when the sun appears to reach its northerly-most point of 'travel.'

World map clearly identifies Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn

( It's really just a cool illusion .. because you and I here on planet earth, we are actually the ones doing the traveling. )

I am talking about the point-of-travel where the sun arrives directly over southern Baja California.

Tropico de Cancer roadside sign Baja California with red_VW bug by David Sanger Photography

This is the point where it comes closest to those of us living here to the north  ..

Looking along the line of the Tropic of Cancer at the monument marker in southern Baja California

.. and then appears to turn around and head back south .. to the distant land of Capricorns .. that time is » 2:43 PM. So we got another 23 mins or so.

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Welcome to Boner-City

Time right now » 11:51 pm Pacific Daylight .. and this page is live.

Time stamp 11:51 pm Pacific Daylight (13 June 2020) and this page is live.

I have not yet written anything here .. but I will be very shortly.

"What am I planning to write in this entry?" you ask? .. here in this page with such an inviting title?

I am sure that you will not be able to handle it.

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It probably means nothing to anybody but me .. but the time right now is » 8:37 pm PDT here on the Left coast .. and this page is » live.

Timestamp taken when current page posted live: 8:37 pm Thursday (19 March 2020)

I have not yet written anything here .. but the HTML is ready to receive whatever words and bits I might happen to feel like sending its way.

I do not know exactly what kinds of things I will be addressing here today .. but I have a pretty good idea. (Many things. Some gnarly, some not. This could go anywhere.)

I am actually curious myself .. to see what kinds of things are coming .. after all this time has passed without the posting of any published writing. Very unlike me.

» Have Not Written Anything Since November

These words you are reading here now .. these are pretty much the only words I have written since November, in an entry titled » You are the Funnest Thing to Play With (5 Nov 2019).

Ariana's Vogue Cover Video Performance (9 July 2019)

I can feel that the writing gears are a little rusty. I should go get my oil can and apply some nuclear-grade lubricant to the writing machinery.

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This page continues from here » When Sweet Respite Arrives Just in Time and in the Right Place - Page Two (9 Aug 2019).

» Feeling Habakkuk and his Complaint

There is much ugliness there. So much of it that I could feel Habakkuk when he wrote to God. (Rad paraphrase.)

"Why are you making see all this nasty shit? .. where nasty fuckheads trick-fuck good people and then get away with it.

"This shit has been going on for so long now, and it shows no signs of abating any time soon."

"Justice is a joke .. a bad joke. How are you tolerating this?"

It is just a sad state of affairs that our government has become.

Magdalena Gomez Gregorio (11) crying after parents deported (t=6:00, 8 Aug 2019)

This is heartbreaking. Such a little girl.

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Another Blessing in Disguise

This page originated here from an entry titled » When the System Worships Mammon the Children End Up Paying the Price (19 July 2019).

» Speaking of Shrinking Back and Cowering ...

Speaking of shrinking back and cowering .. girly, I saw you surprise the TNT Boys here (19 Feb 2019).

Ariana surprises the TNT Boys (19 Feb 2019)

The term cower is defined as:

    1. To sink by bending the knees; to crouch: to squat or sink downward, especially in fear.
    2. To show submission or fear.

You totally blew their minds. You could see from the looks on their faces that their minds were completely blown.

Ariana surprises the TNT Boys and blows their minds (19 Feb 2019)

They were looking overwhelmed. (I know the feeling.)

You can be such a sneaky little shit sometimes. I like that about you. I like everything about you. (Probably more than I should.)

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