Recently in existential Category

Starving Writer SOS - Page Five

This entry continues from here » Page Four (1 Nov 2018).

» Send a Moving Truck with a Couple of Strong Dudes

Maybe you could send a moving truck here .. a few days before New Years .. along with a couple of muscular dudes to load my shit. I have very little stuff.

Everything I have could easily fit into the smallest U-haul truck. And then they could take me to my new place.

I have no bed. No furniture. Just clothes and books and a laptop. A couple of bikes. It makes moving easy. Unencumbered.

Heck, I probably really only need one strong dude.

My mom used to say, "The things you own end up owning you."

You can spend a good chunk of your life just tending to all your stuff .. and not writing or creating, or tending to the things that are really important in life.

I got rid of most of my crap when I moved here from Orange county. (Here in northern San Diego county. It takes an hour to get to the OC. Probably 75 mins all the way to Laguna.)

So right about now is when I can use that bed .. the one with my name on it. (You and Nicki must have ESP.)

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Starving Writer SOS - Page Four

This entry continues from here » Page Three (1 Nov 2018).

» Writing and Intimacy both Represent Formidable Challenges

One of the reasons why, Ariana, I am drawn to, and pursue, intimacy .. is for the same reason why I am drawn to and pursue writing.

Both are tricky to negotiate, both come with incubation periods that deter most explorers, and both come with pay-offs that you can get no other way. (If you really must know.)

Intimacy is probably the domain in which you learn the most about yourself. Perhaps this is because this is where you speak most openly and honestly and frankly.

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Starving Writer SOS - Page Three

This entry continues from here » Page Two (1 Nov 2018).

» Sponsoring a Starving Writer

Anyway .. so I was thinking, girly .. since we are already in love and whatnot, and because we make such a good team, and because we now have a history .. a rich history .. and because we will always be in love forever ..

.. I think that you should sponsor a starving writer. And in return, I will continue to write and push the envelope and continue what I have already been doing for years .. so we can see where this story takes us.

I should probably give you some time to think about it.

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Starving Writer SOS - Page Two

This entry continues from here » Page One (1 Nov 2018).

» When Life Starts to Crumble Around You

You learn a lot about people, girly, when their life starts to crumble around them.

Sandcastle at the beach with the tide coming in.

It happens to everybody, you know .. at some time or other. Emile and Sinead know what I am talking about.

Sinead discusses life after Clevver (20 Nov 2018)

And more than just once or twice, too .. over the course of a lifetime.

Right after I called bro, I called cousin Patti. She lives in Connecticut. She is so good at helping me deal with shit like this. I called her every other day during treatment. When my voice gave out, we traded emails.

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Starving Writer SOS - Page One

» The Homeless Starving Writer

Girly, I just learned today that, due to circumstances beyond my control, I will be more-or-less homeless come January 1st. (The day of new beginnings.)

Though, I must say that it feels right. It feels like change is in the air. It feels natural and organic. And timing is important.

(Eddie Glenn knows what I am talking about. Poor Eddie Glenn.)

I have been homeless before .. but that was back when I had a car, and a drivers license and some money. And some credit cards that werent max'ed out yet. And I still had good physical stamina. And a voice box that did not have radiation scarring.

» Responding to Anxiety-Inducing Events

Perhaps I am not articulating this accurately .. but you feel me when I say that anxiety can sometimes be a good thing. It can provide you with the motivation that you did not have before.

And it can even be the thing that helps kick you over into your true voice.

» Maybe I am Taking this Authentic Thing Too Far

Perhaps I am taking this authentic thing too seriously. Perhaps I should compromise my sense of artistic values.

Dont think I havent thought about it. More than once. Shakespeare knows what I am talking about.

'To thy own self be true ..' says Polonius in Hamlet Acts 1 Scene 3.

But in the end the thing that a writer is really after (.. okay, besides the super-hottie singers who sing from their hearts) the thing the writer really desires is ..

.. is simply the ability to speak to whatever-thing might need speaking to.

"Yes, I can speak to this thing here because I have been there. I have done that myself. Remind me to tell you that story sometime. That's a good story."

You gain insights and understanding while actually in a thing .. that you can get no other way.

When you are talking to a dude who is trying to portray themself as something that they are not .. and he doesnt know that you have already been there and done that .. well, I am not even going to finish this sentence. But you feel me.

"I can converse on a meaningful level about this thing because I have been there."

This right here is the heart of (for me) the existential mindset and approach. By which I mean how all these experiences affect me personally. On a personal basis.

» Why Am I Feeling So Chill?

I was surprised at myself .. for reacting so calmly to the news. (Plus I got a flu shot today and was feeling a little achy.)

I was wondering "Is this because the Zoloft is so good? Is this why I am feeling so chill when I should probably be freaking out?" 

I could easily justify taking an Ativan right now with this kind of news .. but I dont feel like I need it.

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Hypocrisy in America - Page Three

This page continues from here » Hypocrisy in America - Page Two (2 Oct 2018).

» Elite-Level Hypocrisy and the Sad Lesson of Paul Ryan's Speakership

Check out this review and fact-check of Paul Ryan's speakership done by Ari Melber (6 Dec 2018).

Paul Ryan's Speakership reviewed and fact-checked by Ari Melber (6 Dec 2018)

He is not putting words into Paul Ryan's mouth. Ari is letting Paul Ryan speak for himself .. and then looking at how Paul did relative to those statements that he publicly uttered himself.

You could spend the rest of your life trying to identify and document all the hypocrisy in our government .. and still not capture it all.

Have they no shame? Do they just say whatever they think that people want to hear? It certainly appears that way.

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Hypocrisy in America - Page Two

This page continues from here » Hypocrisy in America - Page One (2 Oct 2018).

» Birds of a Feather Flocking Together

Speaking of being renowned for hypocrisy .. here is Ken Starr with a young Brett Kavanaugh.

Ken Starr and Brett Kavanaugh are birds-of-a-feather

Birds-of-a-feather are they.

» Hypocrisy and Self-Delusion

Nobody lives a life completely free of hypocrisy .. but gross hypocrisy is a result of self-delusion.

We are better at deceiving ourselves than others (at t=1:10)

They dont see their hypocrisy because they dont know themselves .. because they are self-deluded.

And because they dont see this obvious thing right in front of them .. they naturally think that others dont see it either.

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Hypocrisy in America - Page One

This entry originated here » When Governments Inflict Lasting Psychic Trauma on Children as a Matter of Policy - Page Two (21 June 2018).

» What a Hypocrite

I wonder what Mike Pence thinks of this. He seems to be familiar with the way that bad morals can end up incinerating the planet.

Mike Pence the hypocrite speaks to Bill Clinton's moral failures

He is such a hypocrite. He is a hypocrite's hypocrite. Paul says that such people condemn themselves.

Peter says to rid yourself of all hypocrisy. (Mike mustve skipped that part.)

Mike Pence the hypocrite speaks to Bill Clinton's moral failures

Mike Pence seems to have two drastically different sets of moral standards that our elected officials should live by.

The moral standard that he uses for members of the opposite party appear to be very different from those that employs for members of his own party.

I so badly want to tell Mike Pence (and his shitty hypocritical values) to go fuck himself .. but I should probably just bite my tongue.

I bet that George Will would back me up here. And McKay Coppins. And Stephen. And Ellen Wald.

Mike Pence is a self-righteous, fake believer .. just like George. He is in it purely for the political appeal (.. and the racism that accompanies it).

A generation comes and a generation goes. They can't say that they werent warned. Peter knows what I am talking about.

Peter Wehner knows what I am talking about.

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The Place where Imagination becomes Reality - Page Two

[ This entry continues from » Page One (25 Dec 2017). ]

» Playing Off of Dostoevsky

Girly, this thing that I am building with you .. this dangerous thing .. I can see now that I am going to build this thing right over Dostoevsky.

I am going to use him as a set of patterns to play off of.

I have tons of respect and admiration for the man, for the writer .. but my trajectory into this theme that I am exploring here .. this feels beyond me. Well beyond.

The feeling here is like, "Holy smokes .. look where this thing is going. I would have never thought of this in a million years."

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The Place where Imagination becomes Reality - Page One

[ This entry originated from a page titled » Are We Really in Love .. or Does it Just Feel that Way? (Sept 9, 2017) ]

» A Function of Being in the Right Place at the Right Time?

Dont you feel, sometimes, that these most improbable of things seem to be very much a function of » being in the right place at the right time?

» The Eddie Glenn Story

Remind me, girly, to tell you the Eddie Glenn story .. which is a story about being in the exact-right place at the exact-right time.

The Eddie Glenn story actually ties into what I was telling Selena .. how you need to keep doing the work .. toward personal growth .. even when it is difficult.

And even when you can't see any immediate advantage to doing so.

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