September 2018 Archives

Sense of SELF & Escaping Self-Deception

This page continues from here » Another Mind-Fucking Tragedy (14 Sept 2018).

» Sense of SELF Based Internally vs Externally

The thing that makes it easier with the dissolving and ultimate death of a toxic relationship .. is when you have confidence and self-respect for your own value and worth .. as a child of God ..

.. and knowing that you possess within yourself something truly divine .. upon which you can set your sorrows over the death of this relationship.

I have discussed this already on Page Five .. right after the section where I write, "Wow .. I actually feel like I am in love."

If your sense of self is based externally, then this makes the death of the relationship all the more distressing.

But the end of a relationship that it sucking the life out of you .. this is a net-gain for sure.

<ignore this intentional body-text marker>

Another Mind-Fucking Tragedy

This page continues from here » Is This Not a Trippy Coincidence? (14 Sept 2018).

» More Trippy Coincidences

I hesitate to mention it .. but, on the subject of trippy coincidences, and things that cause depression and anxiety .. what do you think about Mac's most recent video titled Self Care (12 July 2018)?

Mememto mori, Mac Miller Self Care (12 July 2018)

Particularly the part where he carves into a coffin lid with the blade of a pocket knife the words MEMENTO MORI?

The song is titled Self Care, yet he is smoking a cigarette in a closed space. He takes a drag right after he sings, "I'm treatin' me right."

» Taunting Death

In other words, he is clearly not taking care of himself. He seemed to be taunting death.

Mac Miller lying in a coffin Self Care (12 July 2018)

Drunk driving is not only being reckless with your own life, but also with the lives of others.

Do you think he could he see his future?

<ignore this intentional body-text marker>

Is This Not a Trippy Coincidence?

This entry originated here » Anxiety and Depression - Page One (27 July 2018).

» Am I Feeling this Girl More than I Realize?

Girly, I noticed that you just released a song titled » breathin (23 Aug 2018). Dont you think that this is a trippy coincidence? (Given the lyrics.)

I posted my page on anxiety back on July 27, a month before you posted your breathin single. And you had also said some things along these lines with Jimmy on August 16th.

Shit started getting funky on July 1st. Ten days later I thought I was having a heart attack or dying. June was spent taking the escalator up to July 1st.

Sometimes timing is more important than at other times. You feel me. Maybe I am feeling you even more than I realize.

I had a similar feeling with Julie Allen .. in that I am obviously experiencing this terribly unpleasant thing .. which is connected to this girl .. to this very cool girl. A motivated girl .. who suffers mental health issues from time to time.

And yet it doesnt seem like I should be feeling this thing so strongly. And here is where I usually try-n-figure out how such a thing can be.

Speaking of trying to figure out how such a thing can be .. do you think that this anxiety is some kind of sympathetic sort of thing?

Selena is upset when Justin is upset

Selena knows what I am talking about. When you really love someone, you accept them flaws-n-all. No?

But, when I started having these attacks, I did not know that you were also having them. Heck, I didnt even know what they were myself. I didnt know what was happening to me.

I am normally very good at handling and dealing with stressful situations which could easily trigger anxiety. I normally kick large amounts of ass in this area.

Angst or 'existential anxiety' (at t=2:35)

You're right that it is like the worst feeling. Afterwards I thought, "I can see why they use waterboarding. It instantly produces severe anxiety .. not being able to catch your breath."

It sucks very badly. It feels like a form of torture. Especially when it seems like it is not going to stop. And when you dont know what is happening to you.

<ignore this intentional body-text marker>

This page originated on another page titled » The Games Begin (3 Sept 2017).

» When the Games Turn Psycho-Erotic

Speaking of the playful confidence that comes with being ready to accept and tackle a daunting challenge from a strong, confident, powerful woman ..

Taylor Swift ...Ready For It savage look (26 Oct 2017)

.. who purposefully paints erotic images in your mind with her hypnotic words and her seductive voice ..

In the middle of the night, in my dreams
You should see the things we do, baby

.. check out what Mistress Mia says here (25 Jan 2018) ..

.. in something she calls » Play My Games. (I like her speaking voice.)

'Play My Games' bids Mistress Mia if you dare (25 Jan 2018)

This is an interesting concept .. for a number of reasons .. such as the role imagination plays in her audio file.

Anytime you find yourself coming into contact with the erotic levers of power and authority and dominance and submission .. this hearkens back to ancient, primal things.

In other words, you can go deep fast.

<ignore this intentional body-text marker>

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from September 2018 listed from newest to oldest.

August 2018 is the previous archive.

October 2018 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.