This entry originated here » Anxiety and Depression - Page One (27 July 2018).
» Am I Feeling this Girl More than I Realize?
Girly, I noticed that you just released a song titled » breathin (23 Aug 2018). Dont you think that this is a trippy coincidence? (Given the lyrics.)
I posted my page on anxiety back on July 27, a month before you posted your breathin single. And you had also said some things along these lines with Jimmy on August 16th.
Shit started getting funky on July 1st. Ten days later I thought I was having a heart attack or dying. June was spent taking the escalator up to July 1st.
Sometimes timing is more important than at other times. You feel me. Maybe I am feeling you even more than I realize.
I had a similar feeling with Julie Allen .. in that I am obviously experiencing this terribly unpleasant thing .. which is connected to this girl .. to this very cool girl. A motivated girl .. who suffers mental health issues from time to time.
And yet it doesnt seem like I should be feeling this thing so strongly. And here is where I usually try-n-figure out how such a thing can be.
Speaking of trying to figure out how such a thing can be .. do you think that this anxiety is some kind of sympathetic sort of thing?
Selena knows what I am talking about. When you really love someone, you accept them flaws-n-all. No?
But, when I started having these attacks, I did not know that you were also having them. Heck, I didnt even know what they were myself. I didnt know what was happening to me.
I am normally very good at handling and dealing with stressful situations which could easily trigger anxiety. I normally kick large amounts of ass in this area.
You're right that it is like the worst feeling. Afterwards I thought, "I can see why they use waterboarding. It instantly produces severe anxiety .. not being able to catch your breath."
It sucks very badly. It feels like a form of torture. Especially when it seems like it is not going to stop. And when you dont know what is happening to you.
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» Is This Not a Trippy Coincidence?
Oh, I just saw this thing that says breathin was written after an anxiety attack where you felt like you couldnt breathe.
This is some trippy shit right here. This is a strange coincidence. I feel like it must mean something .. but fuck if I know what it means.
And it looks like we're not alone. "Pass the Ativan, please." Mother's little helper.
I am reminded here of Gwen Ifill.
» Life's Most Important Questions
Freud said that (at t=1:10) the problem of anxiety is a nodal point at which the most important questions converge.
Why would he say something like that?
I do feel, however, that we do indeed speak to many important questions. (Which is one more reason why we make such a good team.)
» Seasons of Synchronicity
I have had a number of seasons in my life .. where seemingly strange coincidences just like this occur surprisingly frequently.
They seem to pop up all over the place. And they usually involve girls. (Super-hotties, of course.)
I am having one these times right now. Last few weeks, maybe. (Sometimes I go years without any.)
I have been having other trippy coincidences .. about other things, too. Things that dont involve you.
(Remind me to tell you the dead spider story .. and maybe even the religious book that got thrown out in the trash.)
I am not talking about things which you have to dig for, in order to see .. but rather things that are front-n-center, almost smacking you in the face .. unwilling to be ignored.
» Demanding Your Full-n-Undivided Attention
This anxiety thing where you can't breathe .. this thing gets your full-n-undivided attention. No? (Which is why I felt so much better soon as I had that fresh bottle of Ativan in hand. My nice hand.)
You are thinking about nothing except that next breath, and wondering what the fuck is happening to you.
Things (life) normally feels tingly and sparkly during these periods .. where these strange coincidences start popping up.
The geek in me is always trying to figure out things. So I can't help but wonder what is going on.
But I never get anywhere. Perhaps the future will shed light on these things.
A penny for your thoughts. What do you make of this, lover?
» If It's Me, Then How Come I Dont Know What it Means?
In the past, when one of these trippy coincidences would occur with a girl, I would say to her, "Is it just me .. or is this not some trippy shit right here?"
And they would always say things like, "No, it's not just you. There is definitely some trippy shit going on here. This feels bigger than us."
So I naturally wonder, "WTF? What does this mean? It feels like it must mean something .. but I havent a clue."
So I would say, "Is that you .. or is that me?" [ that is causing these trippy coincidences ]
And the girls would always say, "That's you .. that's definitely you."
Then I would stare off far with a thousand-mile stare and wonder, "If it's me .. then how come I dont know what it means?"
I normally would not tell people this crazy stuff.
[ I would normally not say, either, that the sex is always super-outstanding following one of these seemingly strange coincidences. You can see why this is something I would normally never say. "Who cares what these curious coincidences might mean when the sex is this good?" you think. ]
» Feeling More Trust
I somehow feel like I trust you more now. I feel like we have been to this sucky place together .. this sucky place where breathing is labored and difficult.
I bet that you feel similarly about your fans in Manchester. You have all been through this unspeakably horrible thing together.
» Are We Synchronized Now?
Doesnt it seem like we are together in this thing? .. like we are somehow synchronized.
This thing that spans the entire spectrum of moral experience.
You have never seen anything the likes of me before .. I have been trying to tell you.
» Kierkegaard on Anxiety
What do you think about what Kierkegaard said about anxiety?
He said, "The greater the anxiety, the greater the man."
Because this sounds very similar to » spanning the entire range of moral experience .. from the satanic to the divine.
The two patterns are similar. Maximum anxiety must feel like hell.
Kierkegaard says that everybody secretly harbors an unexplainable inner anxiety.
The beast represents man's base nature, while the angelic evokes images of man's divine nature.
Kierkegaard wrote the book on anxiety (1844). This is the same year that Nietzsche was born.
» The Existential Problem
This notion of spanning the entire distance between opposites represents the essence of the existential problem .. according to Kierkegaard.
We highly-evolved carbon-based sentient life-forms, known as humans, or homo sapiens, are a synthesis of opposing elements.
The satanic can be represented by the temporal, while the divine is naturally eternal.
Kierkegaard only lived to age 42. He wrote most of this stuff in his 30's. I cannot seem to wrap my around that .. because this is stuff that you have to travel quite a ways down the road of life before you encounter.
» Where No Man has Gone Before
Sometimes I will read something by Nietzsche or Dostoevsky and think, "I am so far down this road and these fuckers have already been here."
If we are going to boldly go where no man has gone before ..
.. then we first need to get beyond the point where other humans have already been.
No?
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This theme continues here » Another Mind-Fucking Tragedy (14 Sept 2018).
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