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The Games Begin

Hi Taylor.

I was thinking earlier today how something in me was craving a new song. I remember scanning the page of titles there at YouTube, looking for a new song from somebody. If not a new song, then anything new. Maybe a new trailer is out?

But being Sunday, and seeing that nobody ever releases a song on Sunday .. I seemed relegated to sit with this shitty sense of dissatisfaction.

» A Sense of Dissatisfaction Spurs the Artist to Greater Heights of Creativity

Surely you are familiar with the vague sense of dissatisfaction that comes from time to time .. when you feel like you are wanting something, or needing something .. yet you are not really sure what it is that you want or you need.

I dont think that this uncomfortable sense of dissatisfaction is limited to the artist. Perhaps the artist just feels it more accutely. More sharply. More exquisitely.

I read this thing that said it was this sense of dissatisfaction that was the thing that spurred the artist to ever greater heights of creativity. So we should therefore embrace it, and welcome it, and rejoice at its arrival.

Easier said than done. Much easier.

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Going Stupid-Dumb

I know a little something about going stupid-dumb. More than a little, actually. I confess that I do indeed feel qualified to address the subject. Well qualified .. with plenty of firsthand experience.

He Like That | Fifth Harmony official video

I might even be something of an expert on the subject.

The term stupid implies that you are not thinking clearly. While dumb implies that your ability to form words has somehow been compromised.

Why might you be thinking unclearly? And why might you be having trouble forming words, or putting things into words?

Going stupid-dumb with Lauren

These are good questions.

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Master of Anticipation - Page Two

[ This entry continues from » here. ]

» What Kinds of Things Will You Evoke?

Arent you curious about what kinds of things I will write to you? I certainly am.

Jesy and Jade singing Touch Summertime Ball June 10, 2017

[ This is a curious image here .. because Jesy is singing, but you are looking at the camera. I am not sure why this image works me .. but it does. The attention is not sure where it should be focused. ]

I write different things to different singers because different girls elict and evoke different parts of my personality.

What kinds of things will you be evoking within me? Fuck if I know. There's really only one way to find out.

Every secret of a writer's soul .. quote by Virginia Woolf

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Master of Anticipation - Page One

[ This entry originated » here. ]

» Jade Feels Me

I see you, Jade. That's how it starts, you know.

Jade sings 'master of anticipation' Summertime Ball Wembley June 10, 2017

[ Look at you singing here. I captured this image where you are singing 'master of anticipation' .. because it goes with my title.

Is it just me .. or do you not seem to be very much enjoying yourself while singing this part?

Where do you go in your mind when you sing this part? What are you thinking about here? What kinds of things are you drawing upon? What emotions do you summon? You wanna fool around?

Oops .. where did that last question come from? (I am looking over both shoulders.)

Sometimes I say things that surprise me when I say them .. particularly when I am talking to pretty girls like you.

I had similar thoughts with this image of Ariana. This is deep girly stuff. A thing to behold. An enchanting thing.

You are obviously a very pretty girl. And talented. And sexy. Please stop me .. before I get carried away.

I can see that I definitely have a thing for singers. I can't help myself. ]

I should not tell you who you remind me of.

Do you have a kinky power fetish? Like Nicki and Ariana?

[ Even Miriam knows (at t=2:35) that Nicki has a thing for power. I see you, Miriam. Nice to meet you. Nicki here made me think of this article by Jonita Davis. I wonder what she thinks of that. Here is another thing worth mentioning. ]

What did Ariana tell you about me? I know that you girls are on tour with her .. on her dangerous tour.

I'm sure that you mustve chatted about things. Probably in some dimly lit corner somewhere. Does she kiss-n-tell?

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I Cant Quit You Either

Girly, I was really trying not to write this entry today. I was distracting myself in a million different ways. But I cant seem to quit you either.

(It looks like we're stuck with each other.)

» Why Am I Writing This and Not That?

From a certain perspective, I watch myself work with you. And I can see that one of the key determinants in whether or not I write about a certain thing is » the range of themes that come into play.

And how distinctive these themes are that are brought into play. And also whether I have firsthand experience regarding these themes. And how much firsthand experience I might happen to have.

And this song opens up such things for me. (Write what only you can write.)

Sometimes I catch myself wondering, "Is she doing that on purpose (.. to fuck with me)? Or are we simply resonating naturally?"

These things start talking to me. And if these things being said are very unique .. then such things demand more forcefully to be written. Because we might never get back here again.

If I continued down this tangent much further, I would start to sound like a nutcase.

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Feeling Less Fucked-Up - Page Two

[ This entry continues from » here. ]

» Establishing a Rudimentary Basecamp at a Remote Outpost

My point in citing these two writers (Hemingway & Sophy) is that .. when I find myself in a place that I have never been before .. or when I find myself with thoughts that I have never thought before ..

.. this is the #1 thing that drives me to write. Even if I am tired, or dont feel like it .. this is the #1 thing that gets me writing.

Because this means I am at the place that Sophy referred to. And because, once I write this thing, then that establishes a sort of basecamp from which I can explore even further.

You also get points for originality and authenticity when you generate such ideas organically. But this is not the primary reason why I exert such effort to capture these thoughts and ideas.

The primary reason is to establish an idea-basecamp of sorts .. from which I can explore further .. even if this basecamp is not constructed very well.

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Feeling Less Fucked-Up - Page One

[ Note that this entry originated » here. ]

Along the lines of artistic creativity .. what do you think of this? How about this?

I think that I might write an entry about that first one, where I simply respond to some of the comments made in that video.

I would title this entry something like » Feeling Less Fucked-Up. That would make a cool title .. you must admit.

» Creative Freedom

Many interesting statements were made in that video, but I would probably start with the one made by David Byrne [ at t=1:35 ] where he says:

Although some of them maybe have the ambition to be the next [ big thing ], the number of those artists are very, very small. And often, the artists who are very successful in that way .. they dont have much flexibility.

In achieving success, they lose a lot of their creative freedom. They have to keep making the same thing, more or less, over and over and over again.

And if the musician or artist values their freedom and the ability to be creative, then they maybe have to realize that they won't be making hundreds of millions of dollars. They might be making less money .. but they might have more artistic satisfaction.

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[ This page continues from » Page One. ]

» Writers and Singers and Words (Oh, My)

What do you think of the notion that writers and singers tend to make great natural allies? (Not to put ideas into your head or anything like that.)

Dove Cameron instagram June 11, 2017

A writer is basically somebody who puts things into words .. while a singer is basically somebody who puts words into song.

So it seems to make sense .. that they would get along so well. It seems like a natural fit.

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[ This entry originated from another page. It's a long story. ]

Girly, speaking of threesomes (« I always wanted to start an entry that way) ..

.. I know that you know this Dove Cameron girl. You were in Hairspray Live! with her (Dec 7, 2016).

She is very much a girly-girl, like yourself. Look how fragile and easily-breakable she looks.

Dove Cameron sipping from a cup for the Feb 2017 issue of Galore

When I saw this image of her here, sipping from a colorful girly-cup .. I thought about that girl at the coffee shop.

Look at her eyes .. that is exactly the look. (I could go into great detail about what these eyes are saying.)

But notice in particular how she seems to be looking past you, or through you. That was the thing that struck me about this girl. She seemed to be looking right through me.

Like it wasnt me, per se, that she fancied .. but rather something about me. Like she was projecting something onto me.

What was it that she was projecting onto me? Fuck if I know. Who can figure out these girls? These young, smoking-hotties.

This is why they freak me out a little sometimes.

» Only with Girls that I Really Like

I like her. I have already gone back to Page Six, where I talk about the juicy-juice .. and added an image of her there with a quote from her Feb, 2017 article in Galore. (I only do that with girls that I really like.)

Perhaps I should lift out this section on Miss Dove and transfer it to its own page .. because she is prompting very different dialogue. Whatever title would I give to such a page?

[ This is now done, with an entry dated Feb 23, 2017. This could be very dangerous. ]

» Is She Really Hollywood's Hottest Starlet?

It's interesting how different girls evoke such different things in me. Is she really Hollywood's hottest starlet?

Dove Cameron | Hollywood's hottest starlet

I cant help but wonder what it's like .. to lie with Hollywood's hottest starlet. Can you blame me? It's a valid question, no?

Artist of the Year + Hollywood's Hottest Starlet + the Most Gifted Writer of his Generation .. I can only imagine what kind of criticl mass such a thing would produce.

A very creative experience, I'm sure .. when such creative DNA gets together. Anything could happen. Anything would be possible.

Say hi for me .. the next time you talk to her. Ask her what she's sipping there. Or, is the cup just a colorful design prop?

» Talking in Hushed Girly Tones?

Girly, you know that you're supposed to be keeping our thing a secret, right? Did you say anything to this girl? She is speaking my language.

Hairspray Live cast

The voices in my head are all convinced that you were indeed talking to her .. no doubt in hushed girly tones while sitting in some dimly lit corner somewhere.

And my ego is absolutely certain. "There's no question," he insists.

» Difficult for Me to Resist

She is talking about being comfortable with intimacy. It's difficult for me to resist responding to such a topic .. coming from such a young, sexy girl like this. (Dont think I havent tried.)

She just turned 21 last month. You can see her experimenting with her sexuality. She certainly caught my attention right away.

Dove Cameron | Ways to be Wicked, Descendants 2

[ I see you winking at me, Miss Dove. I see you winking at me with your purple hair. I have never been with a girl with purple hair before. In case you were wondering. I'm pretty sure that I would've remembered something like that .. particularly if this purple hair was attached to Hollywood's hottest starlet. I mean, how could a guy forget something like that? ]

She says some very mature things for a 21 year old. I dont really see how you can have a 21 year old girl saying such mature things like she is saying.

This is why I sometimes feel that you super-hottie singers must be getting professional help .. crafting your message.

» The Sound of an Interesting Voice Saying Interesting Things

Have you ever been at a party, where you are talking to someone, or with a group of people .. and you suddenly hear the sound of an interesting voice .. that is saying the most interesting things?

Christina Ricci as Zelda Sayre

And something about her voice, and something even more about those things that she is saying (behind you) .. is clearly affecting you.

Dare you turn and see who it is saying these things that speak to your soul? Surely standing behind me is the soul that I have been searching for all my life.

And you simply can't help yourself. She is standing in a circle with three guys, holding forth. But she is looking at you .. from the moment you turn. And you realize » it *is* her.

[ Have you ever met someone, Dove, where you feel like you somehow know this person .. yet where this would be impossible?

Have you ever had this kind of feeling? Is this because they remind you of someone else?

But what what if they dont remind you of anyone else? What if you have never met anyone like this person before?

Do you know this feeling? ]

Heck, you might even be there at this party with a remarkable creature yourself. So, how is such a thing even possible?

» An Offensive Posture

So I can feel myself becoming curious with her. That's not usually a good thing for girls .. when I become curious about them .. curious about what makes them tick. (You know what I'm talking about.)

I can feel myself approaching her from an offensive posture. Not quite predatory .. but definitely heading in that direction. (It's all your fault.)

I am more in-your-face when I am taking an offensive posture. You will know that I like you. There will be no guesswork about that.

You will feel me tickling your ovaries. I will charm your panties right off.

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The Smart-Ass Karamazov Brother

[ This entry originated » here. ]

» A Smart Motherfucker

I am a smart motherfucker myself .. without even trying to be. My dad told me at least a million times while I was growing up, "Dont be smart."

What he really meant was, "Dont be a smart-ass."

I could definitely be a smart ass. (Because I am so smart.) No doubt about it. Being a smart-ass is part of what got me into trouble with the captain.

Because I am not afraid to toe-up with authority figures when they are fucking up. Particularly when their fucking up is affecting me or mine.

Or did he really not want me to be smart?

My dad was smart, but not educated. My mom told me, "I married your father because he was smart and because he had good teeth."

» Dad vs Fyodor Karamazov

I can confirm that he was smart, but only in a Fyodor Karamazov sort-of-way.

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