Blowing My Mind on a Regular Basis

••• today's entry continues here •••

» Story Behind the Publication of Aggressive High School Hotties

You know, come to think of it .. there is actually a story behind that entry.

I almost forgot that story .. because we tend to block out the insanity parts. But there is a story behind that entry.

It's coming back to me. This might be the biggest of big stories.

Big stories are ones which weave in a lot of shit .. from multiple angles and sources.

I could really go off on that .. especially now, because I have been away for long enough that I now have the perspective that comes with time-n-distance.

» How Sweet It Is

Time-n-distance away from a bizarrely hostile environment. You cannot possibly know how sweet it feels .. to be here and not there.

My worst day here is better than my best day there .. for reasons I don't care to articulate.

And there is genuine sense of gratitude that comes in this comparative sense of freedom I am feeling here vs the mistreated, trapped prisoner of a QAnon psycho and the crazy ideas they harbored that no sense .. that I endured there.

But the story from 10 years ago, when I first posted that page. I remember the circumstances .. because I didn't really understand their reaction.

That caused a big, fucking reaction .. let me tell you.

And I remember thinking, some time later, when your image was on that page, I wanted to ask what you thought about these reactions.

I am talking about girly reactions. I was surprised, and I can't say that I really understand to this day.

Anyway, enough of that. Enough about the reactions that followed publication of that page.

» Got to Do this Other Thing First

But today (19 Mar 2022) .. I was working there in the Manage Entries page for Moveable Type, looking to create myself a new page .. right out of thin air ..

.. when I saw this entry that you are reading right now, sitting there at the top of the column .. because it was my most recent addition.

It is not uncommon for me, you know, to go back and flesh out other ideas .. after I have already posted a new page or two.

I like the idea of sneaking back stealthily, under cover of darkness.. and secretly doing things that nobody knows about.

I admit however that I am not even close to being in your league, girly. You can be such a sneaky little shit sometimes. I like that about you. It is one of the things that attracts me to you in an irresistible sort of way. 

(Would you like to know what all the other things are? I bet you would. I feel confident that you would indeed like to know what they are.)

When I saw this entry sitting there at the top of the column, I was actually in the middle of doing something else.

I was in the middle of doing something very different .. something that came with a drastically different mindset. But still, the thought struck me how I was saving this particular page » just for you.

» Just for You

Ooh, girly .. that would be a good title. You must admit .. that would make a great title. And so fucking organic, too, that I can hardly stand it. My signature stuff.

I know how you are. I know how you like it. I know how you want it. Just leave it to me .. and I will take care of everything, and give it to you right-proper.

I will give it to you like you have never had it before. I will give it to you just how a woman like you deserves.

I have skills, you know, in this area. I have well developed skills in this area .. because I have been trained by elite level women, by powerful women, by women of considerable agency ..

.. on how they need to be taken care of, sometimes.

Now I am not saying here that my training was all smooth sailing, no. There were many rough patches that needed to be smoothed out. (And here I could go into considerable detail.)

But I could see that these were skills I needed to develop. These were insights and understandings that I needed to attain.

I could see that these were skills that I wanted for myself because of what they got for me. Because of what these skills provided. Because of what these insights placed in the palm of my hand. (My nice hands.)

I wanted access to interface with powerful women of agency who have their shit together and who know how to make things happen.

I wanted to sharpen my iron against hers .. because it feels so good when I do.

I want to probe her soul for weaknesses, so that I can take advantage of them and make her mine when the opportunity presents itself most lusciously.

Industrial-strength talent will tell you, you know, exactly how they want to be treated .. if a man will listen.

If a man is lacking a secure sense of self, in who he is and what he can do, then he will probably be triggered by a confident woman giving him direction. No?

If a man hopes to attract and entice and seduce a woman-of-agency, then he will need to understand her, no? Of course he will.

He will need to understand how she thinks, what things turn her on, and what things turn her off. And I think it is safe to say that she probably isn't going to be like your regular woman. Right?

She is going to walk down the hall with a little more swag. She isn't going to be in any kind of hurry. The sound that her stilettos make coming down the hall get your attention right away.

They have a signature tone and cadence in the clicking sound they make. And when the sound happens to be approaching in your direction, uh, then it makes you feel some kind of way.

It makes you feel trancey .. because of all the others things that have happened to you right after you heard that clicking sound coming your way.

It makes you feel relaxed and content and satisfied, but also exhilarated at the same time, which doesnt even sound possible.

I should probably quit writing along these lines .. before that clicking sound turns into my office and stops right in front of me and reaches down into my pants and grabs hold and says with a squeeze, "Who owns these?"

Or she might say, "Who do these belong to?" It is a rhetorical question, to be sure.

» Attracted to Powerful Women of Agency Who Know How to Make Shit Happen

It is no secret, you know, that I am attracted to powerful women. I have a thing for powerful women. I have a thing for a woman of agency. Something in me desires a woman of muscular agency.

I am not trying to feel this way. But it has certainly become clear to me.

I am not going to say here that I sometimes find myself craving a woman-of-agency .. but nobody would be surprised if I did.

A part of me cannot understand how somebody might not be attracted to such women .. to women who have their shit together and who know how to take care of business and how to get things done.

What guy does not jones for such a capable creature? (I can almost hear the clicking sound of her stilettos echoing quietly through the marble corridors of my soul.)

Sometimes these powerful women are tired of being the boss all day long, calling the shots and deciding who lives and who dies, so to speak. You know. It is completely understandable.

Sometimes they just want somebody to come in and take care of business and show them who's boss .. at least, for the next hour or two.

(Do you have an hour or two for me, girly?)

And these powerful women, they want to feel comfortable with the skill-set of their lover. They want to know that, when they drop the reins, that things won't get all fucked up.

It can take a while, you know, before she gets to this point where she can completely drop her guard and just let it all go.

It feels good when she can just let it all go .. for a while, anyway. At least, this is what I have heard.

What has been your experience along these lines, Ms. Ari? As a powerful woman, I mean. It's a valid question, no?

Or sometimes girls might happen to need it in a way that they don't even realize. But I can see how she needs it. It becomes obvious to me. Plainly obvious.

Now, actually giving it to them .. in the way that they might happen to need it .. this is another proposition, entirely. Because sometimes they don't want it like they need it .. which I can certainly understand.

It is in this spirit of giving it to you in a way that you like and want and need .. that I can see how the phrase Just for You would make a great title.

The reason why it would make a great title is because I have already reserved this here digital real estate on this particular date, and at this particular time » just for you.

A place and a time .. just for you. A cool place at a cool time. (How does that feel, girly? I can feel myself laying it on you here.)

The very title itself suggests intimacy, no? It alludes to it. It begs the question, 'What is it exactly that is going to be just for me?'

» Just a Few Words

In the writer's world, you get extra points for brevity.

You never want to sacrifice clarity for brevity. (Stendhal would back me up here.) But sometimes things align in such a way that you are able to say much with only a few words .. without sacrificing anything.

And just for you just happens to be » three words. A few is generally defined as » two or three. So that title would indeed be 'just a few words'.

» Completely at My Mercy

Here I can do whatever I might like to do with you .. so to speak. Here I can have my way with you. Nothing is off-limits here.

Here there are no safewords .. you are completely at my mercy. (Just how you like it.)

I am going to have my way with you here. You should probably prepare yourself.

» Stretched to Her Breaking Point

I like my lover, you know, stretched to her breaking point .. while I am having at her. I want her to feel like she is ready to come unglued at any second.

I want her right at the edge of begging for mercy .. at the limits of what she can handle. And maybe a little extra .. just to make sure she knows who's the boss here.

I am not trying to feel this way, no. I just do. I can't help myself. I can't help myself about how I feel about certain things, sometimes.

» Hey, Wait .. Isn't Today Our Anniversary?

Today, right now, it is Saturday, the 19th of March. Today is the last full day of winter. Spring arrives tomorrow at 8:33 am.

Yesterday was the full moon, so it is still going to be pretty bright out tonight. Howling time, for sure.

Hey, wait. Isn't today our anniversary? My intuition must be working well today.

That was one of my better decisions, you know .. climbing aboard that shiny locomotive. Who'da ever thunk that such a thing was even possible?

» Not the Funnest Thing, But It Does have Its Moments

As you know, I am chronicling the end of the world. It is not the funnest thing I have ever done, but it does have its moments.

I am heading over to another page right now for just such one of these moments. I'll be back. This shouldnt take long.

I hope you are ready for me. You have never seen anything the likes of me before. And now I'm all warmed up, too. (Lisa knows what I am talking about.)

You can't say that I didn't try to warn you.

» Girls Who Make Me Feel Like I am in Love

Speaking of Lisa and Ariana in the same sentence .. I have a little story that I bet you girls would find interesting.

This was back around the time when I was being rocked by Ms Lisa in a big way. And there were some similarities in the effect that both you girls were having on me.

You know me .. always trying to figure shit out. But I could see that you both deliver a presentation, a message, that is rather forward.

I don't know if the word aggressive applies, but it is definitely heading in that direction.

However you might happen to describe it, the effect is that I find your message unmistakable. There is something along these lines that you both share .. that brings it to me in a strong way.

There is definitely a game-ness to the way you both bring it for me. I am struggling to find the right words, but I bet that both you girls know exactly what I am talking about.

Sometimes I can hear you girls saying to me, "I am not going to let you say that I am not game. I am not going to let you say that I was a big pussy, or that I chickened out, no. I have a dumptruck load of talent right here and I will back up my dumptruck right to your doorstep, and I will dump it all right there on your doorstep, and I will leave it there for you to deal with it .. if this is what it takes to make sure that you know that I am game. I am all in, dawg. I am down with whatever it takes. How clear you need me to get?"

Whatever the specifics might happens to be, the end result is that I just find this kind of feeling a satisfying thing .. this feeling of sharing something personal with a beautiful creature.

Is it possible to ever get enough? I don't see how. I don't see how you could ever get enough of sharing personal things with a beautiful creature.

You girls know how to get people's attention .. this has become clear to me. You both have more talent than most people can handle. This is why you blow so many minds on a regular basis.

Speaking of Lisa .. remind me to talk about this 30 sec clip, titled » Lisa, Boyfriend by Dove Cameron (11 Feb 2022).

Wow. That works me hard. The combination of Dove's voice and Lisa's visuals .. that puts the zap on me in a big way.

It is downright disorienting .. because these are two things that I normally never experience together. Thanks to Mr. Riddle for laying that over like that.

Is it just me, or does Lisa not have some kind of thing going on? Some kind of zappy thing .. that puts the zap on you.

I am pretty sure that I am not the only one who feels this way .. although Lisa is certainly very good at making you feel that way.

» Thank God for Rescuing Me from the Authority of Darkness Where I Felt Rejected and Despised

The writing feels different today, no? I am so fucking happy that I can hardly stand it.

Cousin Patti said she can totally feel my happy vibe in my texts and emails. I try to keep them posted.

I lean on them so much when shit goes bad .. that, when things are going bright-n-sparkly for me .. then I try to reciprocate and show my appreciation when I can, like now.

Note this section has been moved to its own page, where it belongs. See here » Remembering the Day I was Delivered from the Authority of Darkness (19 Mar 2022).

I don't want there to be any distractions. I want to be able to devote my full-n-undivided attention to you here.

I don't want to leave you any place to hide. And I want plenty of room to work.

That is a still a big page, too. Further sections could be off-loaded from there to their own pages.

I am thinking of creating a page (out of thin air) titled » Trick-Fucked on the Outskirts of Trigger City.

I might not get another chance at such a title.

» Don't Make Me Do It

I know that I have skills that an industrial-strength talent such as yourself can appreciate. I know this very well, girly.

Don't make me flex on you. Don't make me fan out my peacock feathers .. my writer's peacock feathers. . Because once I get started, it can be difficult to stop .. until there is nothing left.

Don't make me up my game .. yet again.

Don't make me create an an entire universe right before your very eyes. Don't make me show you things that you did not even know existed.

Don't make me touch you in ways that you did not know were even possible. Don't make me slide my writer's hand down into places that puts you at my mercy. My nice writer's.

Please don't provoke me into doing such things. You might not recover.

This is the end of this page. ■

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