How Can this Impossible Thing Feel Like the Thing I've been Looking for My Whole Life? Page One

I cannot help but wonder, girly .. while you and your friends there at Vevo were conceptualizing the performance of pov that you do here ..

Ariana looking back with both arms down during close encounter at t=1:34 during Vevo live performance of pov (21 June 2021)

You know the performance I am talking about.

When you were working out the details for the setting and the timing and the execution of this performance ..

 .. did it ever occur to you "I wonder if this guy will be able to handle this?"

An intimate encounter of the best kind with Ariana at t=1:34 during Vevo live performance of pov (21 June 2021)

Or how about "Maybe I should tone it down a little? Or Maybe I should dial it back a notch or two?" ?

Did such thoughts ever pass through your mind? It's a valid question .. no?

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••• today's entry continues here below •••

» I Admit I am a Naturally Curious Sort-of-Fellow Who Wonders About Things

I admit that I can be a curious sort of fellow from time to time.

By this I mean that I tend to be inquisitive about the world around me and about how things work and especially about why things work the way they do.

» Is Elena Flirting with Me Again?

I am curious about all kinds of stuff. For example, I was just wondering the other day if Elena Fraules performed a choreography to this particular song (released 5 May 2021, Cinco de Mayo) ..

.. in response to my entry titled » Fuck It .. Let's Do This Thing (21 March 2021).

What do you think? The timing of her release certainly raises an eyebrow, no? And Elena is always flirting with me. She knows I have a thing for her.

You must admit that it makes for a thought-provoking coincidence. She actually says the words 'Fuck it' at the very beginning of her team choreography.

Elena Fraules says 'Fuck it' like she means it at the beginning of her team choreo of Tyga's Do My Dance (5 May 2021)

She says it like she means it .. if you ask me. She is so sexy and she knows it.

Look at one of the Fraules team dancers holding a pussy cat here while Elena does her dance.

Fraules team dancer holding pussy cat while Elena does her dance (5 May 2021)

Whew. That's a lot of woman there. Who can handle something like that?

When I wonder about things like this, I can hear a voice back there saying things like, "You know that's what crazy people think right? That world-class super-hotties are flirting with them. As long as you are aware of this, then I am doing my job. Hey, if you're okay with it, then I'm okay with it. Have a nice day. Say hi to Nietzsche for me."

Sometimes we need to trust our intuition and take a stroll down these seemingly insane paths.

» The Apocalypse Arrives a Full Decade Ahead of Schedule Thanks to the Diligent Efforts of Climate Denialists

I hope Elena and her friends are okay. I saw this thing where Siberia is on fire more than all the fires in the world combined (11 Aug 2021).

Siberian wildfires now bigger than all other fires in world combined ABC News (11 Aug 2021)

The frozen tundra of Siberia is on fire. That's how you know that the apocalypse has arrived.

I have an interesting story to share about the Brainwashed Cult of Climate Denialists. I am talking about firsthand, percipient, existential experience. No hearsay or something I might've heard about on Facebook.

These kinds of things where people can become so brainwashed, so willingly self-deluded .. all while being so thoroughly convinced that they are really right about something or other ..

.. this kind of thing fascinates me. For a number of reasons.

It is actually a sad, depressing thing to behold .. because of the implications such a thing carries with it. But not all of life is happy.

I am thinking right now about one such event where I witnessed (unfortunately) such a thing. Such a sad thing that made me feel sad.

It is such a mind-warping thing that I wouldnt believe it had I not seen it for myself with my own two eyes. My own two human existential eyes. My well-trained eyes.

There are many such events that I witnessed, but this one serves as the perfect vignette. A little story that reflects a bigger story. A much bigger story.

You can jog my memory in the future by mentioning the 1,376-page hardcover edition of the » NY Times Guide to Essential Knowledge (25 Oct 2011).

Please note that I have moved this very different topic to its own page » The Apocalypse Arrives a Full Decade Ahead of Schedule Thanks to the Diligent Efforts of Climate Denialists (Friday, 13 Aug 2021).

» I Wonder What Kinds of Things I Might Encounter Down This Path

You cannot possibly imagine the number of times that I have had the thought, "Ooh, I wonder what's down this path? Surely a few, exploratory steps can't hurt."

Next thing I know, I am over the river and through the woods .. taking an ever deeper look into this-n-that.

And yes, this sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness gets me into trouble sometimes. More than a few times it has gotten me into trouble.

But you learn things along the way. You learn things while you are out there exploring this-n-that and getting into all this trouble.

You learn better where the lines lie. You learn better how far you can go with this or that. How far you can take it. How far you can push it. How deeply you can dig into this-or-that.

Most people do not particularly appreciate it when you probe too deeply into this-or-that .. and especially not when you probe into areas that make them uncomfortable. (Ask me how I know.)

It's totally understandable, but everybody is different. Sometimes you find people who are like, "Probe away .. if you dare."

When I first saw the link for this performance, I was in the middle of something else, but I remember thinking that somebody must've released a cover of this song.

You know how it is not uncommon for somebody to release a cover. I mean, I think that it's brave to even try.

It wasnt until a few days later when I again saw the link and then I saw the number of views and I knew then that it wasnt a cover.

You had just blown minds on a vast scale with that performance of Save Your Tears with the Weeknd. So I was not expecting to hear anything from you for a while.

Silly me.

When I saw that this was you doing this particular song, I launched the video .. to get a flavor of what it is that you were bringing.

That's when I heard your voice coming out of the dark, silhouette image. A capella, no less.

Ariana singing pov a capella in silhouette during Vevo Live performance (21 June 2021)

I saw that your performance was recorded during a nighttime set. I thought, "Oh my God." and I immediately paused the video.

I knew that I wanted to watch this at night, and there were still a few hours of daylight left. But I could still hear your voice in my head.

While I was waiting for the sun to set, I thought of how your imagery reminded me of the eye of Sauron in Lord of the Rings.

Eye of Sauron | Lord of the Rings

(You know how I am attracted to powerful things, and you must admit that the patterns are indeed similar.)

I was immediately reminded of your 2016 Billboard medley. I mean, emotionally speaking .. your voice obviously does things to me.

It has an effect on me. A sometimes powerful effect. Dare I say overwhelming?

It's not like I am the only one .. affected by your seemingly superhuman voice .. even though I admit that you do indeed make me feel that way sometimes.

I like the way your voice makes me feel, Ariana. I like it a lot.

You see the writing here. You see what I am writing. To a large degree I just try to be honest with myself about what I am feeling. So you are getting a flavor of my reaction to this song.

I cannot tell you the number of times, over the years, that I have thought, "How is she doing that?"

There are some things that affect you in such a way that they demand a response. Even if you don't really understand why you may be feeling the things you do.

And now that I am coming down off the meds, off the antidepressants, off the Zoloft .. I am starting to feel things more emotionally.

Beginning the first week of July I am down to 50 mg Zoloft. From a peak 200 (the max). No problemo aqui, but I am definitely feeling things more fully.

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on June 21, 2021 6:21 PM.

The Darkness Didnt Get It - Page Two was the previous entry in this blog.

How Can this Impossible Thing Feel Like the Thing I've been Looking for My Whole Life? Page Two is the next entry in this blog.

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