Embracing the Nadir

••• today's entry continues below •••

If we are going to begin our descent down to the nadir, then I see no point in hurrying.

We might as well enjoy the descent. As best we can. The nadir isnt going anywhere. (Trust me.)

From a physics standpoint, and from a perspective where physical activity is governed by what certainly look to be immutable laws ..

.. from this perspective, certain interesting things can and do happen on the descent.

I am talking about the place where light-n-life share many interesting patterns. And by the term 'light' here, I am referring to electro-magnetic radiation.

If I had the time right now, I could do a nice little ditty on light-n-life and how they parallel each other, not unlike what you find with a double-helix strand of DNA. You know, the stuff that is used to make babies.

But now is not the time for making babies. (No matter how badly some super-hotties might want to.)

We will be making other things .. on our descent. "What kinds of things?" you ask?

These are not the kinds of things that I can tell you about. No, sir. No, ma'am. Rather these are the kinds of things that I can only show you.

I will have to create ( 'make' ) this 'other thing' right before your very eyes. Right here. Right now.

Because, it can be depressing, you know .. chronicling the end of the world.

The world system .. with all its immoralities and its prejudices and its inequalities and its cruelties and its ugliness. You know what I am talking about.

The term depression suggests a state that is lower (down) than normal. The term nadir is generally defined as » the lowest point.

The term nadir basically means » all the way down, as low as you can go.

Life brings all of us to our nadirs .. periodically. Nadirs generally suck, as life tends to go.

Who does not know what I am talking? Who is not familiar with those times when you are being tested in ways that you have never been tested before?

Remind me to talk about the idea of » Embracing your Nadir. Of welcoming the lowest of your low points.

"Hello there, Mr. Nadir. Come right in. I've been expecting you. I've been so looking forward to this. To our time together. How've you been? Havent seen you in a while. You look good as ever. Life must be treating you well. So, what do you have for me this time? Last time, it felt like you really pulled out all the stops and went for it in a big way. Like you were swinging for a grand slam. That one looked like it would be my last. It looked like our slow-motion slide down to the very bottom of the nadir would never stop. I mean, I knew it would. Because nadirs are just a part of a bigger cycle-of-life. But I could not see how that last nadir would ever end. It looked like the whole enchilada was going to slide right down into the ever-swirling bottomless abyss. It looked like everything I had worked so hard to achieve for my whole life .. was coming to sudden end. And there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing to stop it. Absolutely nothing. So I can only imagine what you have for me this time. How low are we planning to go this time?"

(I bet that Paul knows what I am talking about. This is why these fuckers have never seen anything the likes of me before .. because I have been there, and I know that they havent. It's plain as day. But that is all they know. They have not been delivered from the corruption and the decay that is in the world. I am talking about, one way of another, the concept of Soul Capture. Captured by the corruption that is in the world. Until you soul has been delivered from the corruption that is in the world, which sometimes feels like your soul is being ripped apart, or like a part of you is dying .. until you (especially your soul, your mind, your will, your emotions) have been extricated from this corruption, which will require the assistance of forces bigger than you are able to generate on your own, no matter how resourceful you might be. Until you experience for yourself this extrication that I am talking about, this deliverance, this liberation from the corruption that is in the world, then it is difficult, if not downright impossible, to describe to somebody exactly what I am talking about. I dont even know if I can get my description within a ballpark's range-of-accuracy. Because my explanation and description need to be conveyed existentially .. for me to feel as though I have done an adequate job. A sufficient job. And llok good doing it, of course. Many times, I have had the thought, like a voice-in-the-back-of-my-head, saying "Dude, why do you keep trying to convey the impossible to people who do not have the framework necessary to understand what your are even talking about? And who could give two-shits about ever embracing such a framework?" I am talking about over a period of years. Many years. I can feel it rising up from the inside. So I pay it the heed and respect it deserves. And after all this time-n-effort that I have invested in trying to convey the seemingly impossible message to people who have already regected it hundreds of times. This message that I feel so compelled to convey .. this warning .. using all the resources at my my disposal. And I have even invented techniques myself .. in order to genuinely give this thing my best effort. And I know that I have skills. Finely-honed skills. Skills and techniques that I had adapted to myself. To my craft. To my wordcraft. To the ideas that I present in my wordcraft. My writing. My artistry. Which, I admit, sometimes gets a little steamy. Gets a little erotic. I dont deny this. Of course, I do not take all of the blame for this. No. These provocative super-hotties .. they know who they are. I will deal with them in due time. Their day is coming. You can be sure of that. They have never sen anything the likes of me, either. Anyway, I got sidetracked there for a moment. Where was I? Oh, yeah .. this seemingly insatiable desire to convey this message, this warning, again and again, when it only seems like shit is getting worse. A part of me very much feels like I am wasting my time. Wasting my energy. And dwelling on shit that is not pleasant to dwell on. And I will say to the boss something like, "I can feel you in this. And I know better than to gripe or complain or wine or snivel .. so I am going to do this thing. It doesnt matter whether I will enjoy it or not. But here's the thing I know .. come judgment day, these fuckers will not be able to say that I didnt try to warn them. So I am going to kick ass at this thing. Nobody is going to say that I didnt go above and beyond the call .. again and again and again. I will not be feeling the slightest bit of guilt over not bringing the thunder right to their doorsteps. I will be saying to them > I tried to tell you fuckers .. I tried to warn you. Many time I tried. But you wouldnt listen. You refused to listen. You would have none of my counsel. So you can all go fuck yourselves now. Because now you must eat the fruit of your own devices. Just like I told you that you would. Bon appetit, shit-for-brains." You can lead a horse to water .. you know. Now, you might think, as I once did, that these fuckheads, would eventually get the message. But you would think wrong, my friend. So fuck them. I have a sense of peace and tranquility about it. Not the slightest bit of guilt .. which is saying something for a Catholic boy. A boy raised in the Catholic church. By parents who both attended Catholic grade schools. Nobody does guilt like a Catholic. I will gladly put Catholic guilt up against any other guilt. But that's another story, entirely.

I am in one of these nadirs right now. So this would be the perfect time to discuss such a topic. An ideal opportunity is presenting itself right now. A challenge with a star beside it.

Will I be able to summon what it takes to accept this nadir challenge and bring it to a satisfying conclusion?

We can learn things in a nadir, or at a nadir-point, that we can learn no other way. This is because we can see things in a nadir, and from a nadir-point, that we can see no other way.

Call it perspective.

» Rejuvenating

This is why I enjoy so much coming over here and flirting with you, girly. There is a wonderful sense of rejuvenation here.

If feels like I am both exhilarated and tranquil at the same time. I like that feeling. I like it a lot.

Do you think this might mean anything? What does it mean when a girl can make you feel things that you dont even understand?

» Why Do They Always Wait Until I Am at an Extreme Nadir?

It probably means nothing to anybody but me .. but I am reminded here, where I am teasing the idea of exploring a nadir .. exploring the depths and contours and patterns typically found in a nadir.

And where I would delve into the details of this particular nadir .. and maybe even touch on the possible avenues out of distressing places and tight spots, with trouble pressing in on every side.

I am reminded here that it was always during one of these nadirs .. that one (or more) of these industrial-strength young hotties would come onto to me.

I remember pondering this thing, this curiosity, and never being able to figure out anything that made any kind of sense.

But it was always during a nadir when these things happened. Not merely a regular low point .. the kind you might experience on a regular basis. Rather it was always a super-low point. An extra low time.An extreme sort of thing.

I remember a part of me feeling frustrated that these industrial-strength hotties would always wait until I was at a place too low to respond in any kind of meaningful way.

"Why do they always wait," I thought, "until I am feeling like hammered dog shit? On a number of levels."

In the grand scheme of things, it is probably good that they only came onto me when I was at a super-low point. An extreme low point. The realm of Hammered Dog Shit and all points beyond.

I dont know how old these girls were, but I would definitely put them in the dangerous category.

But what could it hurt just to flirt a little? What could possibly come of a little innocent, playful flirting? What could it hurt?

» What If I Wasnt Such a Big Pussy? What Then?

As an idea for a story, I have pondered the notion of taking these encounters as I experiencd them that summer .. and exploring where they might lead.

I mean, it would be only too easy for me .. to imagine one scenario after another .. where I am not such a big pussy.

You feel me.

Dont think that certain scenarios havent presented themselves to me.

I could make like Nabokov. I could explore the contours, the erotic contours, of a relationship between an experienced older man and a dangerously-young industrial-strength super-hottie.

We are talking about one who knows she has the goods and has already begun to ply her talents and her allurements on targets bigger than those silly, climsy, insecure high school boys she grew up with.

She has begun, slowly but surely, to experiment with her blossoming womanly attributes. And she likes the result. She likes the responses and the effects of her experiments.

Her ever-more evolving experiments. Each experiment bolder than the last.

She is feeling compeled by some deep restless stirring .. to boldly embark on a big game hunting expedition. She wants to know just how persuasive her still-developing talents actually are.

She wants to take her womanly hormones for a spin around the adult block.

These kinds of stories always write themselves. Once they get going, it can be hard to stop.

Because you know the story is only going to keep getting better. And the tension will keep building. And one complication after another will certainly arise.

» Is This Really the End of the World .. or Does It Just Feel Like It?

Regarding the End-of-the-World, and the fall of Babylon, the question on everybody's mind is » will the World ever return to its former self?

Or has it been damaged beyond repair?

Has the decay, and the rot, and the corruption, and the inequality .. have these things come to a place where a complete societal breakdown is inevitable?

I mean, for Us-the-Average-Citizen? This is certainly how it looks for those of us in the general admission seats.

Should we just shitcan the whole enchilada .. because it is broken beyond repair? And it will never offer Us-the-People any sense of hope .. long as it is making all the key decisions that affect us.

Wouldnt it be nice if We-the-People actually had a say in the decisions that affect us every day?

Yes. It would indeed be nice. Very nice. Isnt this the way that the Constitution was designed to work?

Government of the people, by the people, for the people. What happened to this?

Shouldnt We-the-People have at least a tiny-bit of say in the decisions that will continue to affect us and our children for decades to come?

I mean, instead of the ultra-wealthy billionaires making all the decisions that affect Us-the-People.

We already know how that story ends. How it ends for Us-the-People. The people of Flint, MIchigan know how that story goes.

It doesnt go well. People will poison a whole city to save a buck and think nothing of it.

No sense of conscience. No sense of humanity. Zero sense of compassion for their fellow man. Dollars over lives.

» They Live in Some Pretty, Fantasy World that Is Obviously Not Concerned with the Likes of Me or You

They dont even live in the current world. They live in some bygone era where shit wasnt so complicated.

They live in some pretty little fantasy world that is not the least bit concerned with the likes of me or you.

Or how their decisions consistently seem to benefit the 1% .. always at our expense.

I mean, it is no secret. For 40 years now it has been no big secret.

Have you noticed how the wealth of the wealthiest of the wealthy has grown by the same amount as the national debt?

It certainly appears like an enormous wealth-transfer has been taking place over the last number of years.

The Fed creates trillions of dollars out of thin air, and puts the IOU's on the kid's generational credit card.

» Accounting Constructs are Only Good as the Accounting Principles Upon Which They are Built

Everybody knows that capital is just an accounting construct. (Except Nancy Pelosi.) This 'construct' (noun) is constructed (verb) by people. By humans.

By imperfect human beings. By those drawn, for whatever reason, to money and to the idea of money.

This accounting construct is based on accounting principles. The construct itself is only as good as the principles that underlie and form the construct.

From what I can see, and I am no economist, though I did have a class in Macro-economics .. from what I can see, the accounting principles that underlie this accounting construct .. they suk.

These accounting principles suk because they create a construct that benefits the wealthiest of the wealthy almost exclusively.

Somehow this exact amount of money ends up in the pockets of the wealthiest Americans. I am talking about people who need it least.

I bet that Stephanie Kelton knows what I am talking about. I would wager large sums that the good professor does indeed know what I am talking about.

She wrote a book titled » The Deficit Myth - Modern Monetary Theory and the Birth of the People's Economy (June, 2020).

Wow. I might be in love. Sure does feel like it.

I am talking about ideological love, of course. You know, it's when you feel naturally aligned and resonant and sympatico with another sentient being ..

.. on a number of levels. Levels with labels such as » socioeconomic, moral, ethical, philosophical, and more.

I like that feeling. I like it a lot.

Such things, it has been my experience, tend to lead to doors. Other doors.

When the harmonics created by two resonant frequencies hit a certain tone .. that's when the doors start to pop open.

"Ooh, I wonder what's in here," I say, as a cool mist comes creeping out of the room, covering our shoes to ankle depth. "Should we find out?" I ask. "Are you scared? You want to check it out?"

A part of me feels drawn to her. By some irresistible force. Some ancient irresistible and irrepressible force. I wonder what that means.

I am surprised that I have never heard of her book before. I mean, it has been out for over six months now.

I wonder how many times she has appeared on Morning Joe and The View. Probably not a lot.

In fact, the only thing I ever heard about MMT was by Larry Summers, saying bad things about it.

I thought, "It must not cater exclusively to the wealthy, then." Otherwise, Larry would love it.

How can it be that I have never heard of this book before now? I find that telling.

A people's glimmer-of-hope for an economy that does not feel so antagonistic, and even hostile, toward Us-the-People.

Why do we, as a nation, continue to funnel all this newly 'created' capital, in the form of an ever-growing national debt ..

.. why do we continue to funnel this money, so overwhelmingly, to those who need it least? To those who already have more than they know what to do with?

Where is the rationale in this? Where is the sense of socioeconomic justice in this? What is the moral stance suggested by the execution of such a policy?

These are valid questions, no? You bet they are. (Despite what Stephanie Ruhle might say. I am so disappointed in her.)

Professor Kelton and Krystal together in the same segment .. those are two powerful women.

I must really have a thing for powerful women. Sure does feel like it. (I am so jealous of Saagar.)

» Why Does the Growing National Debt Continue to Go Almost Exclusively to Those Who Need It Least?

But a part of me finds it strange that this is coming now as though everybody didnt already know what was going on.

I mean, even a second-grader can look at two graphs, laid side by side, and see how the increasing numbers of the national debt mirrors, nearly dollar-for-dollar, the increase in wealth of the wealthiest.

I can hear policy makers saying, "It's okay if we run up the national debt by many trillions of dollars .. long as the vast majority of that money winds up in the pockets of the wealthiest of the wealthy. This is our way of rewarding them for supporting our campaigns."

Back in the day, politicians used to do such things quietly and discreetly. Not anymore. Now they dont even try to hide it.

Is this just a coincidence? Is it just a coincidence that the wealth of the wealthiest has increased by the same amount as the national debt?

Before the election, establishment democrats pretend to care about the ever-growing progressive wing of the party. They covet the ever-growing progressive vote.

Day before the election, establishment democrats all line up in proper file and say in unison » "We need every Bernie supporter, and every one of AOC's entire generational fan-base, to turn out for us tomorrow. So we can defeat the evil donald trump. Let's go team. Rah-rah, sis-boom-bah. Go team, go. United we can do this."

Day after the election » "Go fuck yourself, Bernie. And dont forget to take all your Bernie-Bro supporters with you. Your Millennial-aged supporters. We dont want them anymore .. because we dont need them anymore. Their values do not align at all with ours. As you already know, the values and the priorities of union-busting republicans align with ours much more closely. So much more closely."

This is why all those establishment fuckers can kiss my progressive ass. One of the reasons, anyway. There are more. Many more. So many more. Fuck them.

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