Some Truly Awesome Wailing in Boston

••• today's entry continues here below •••

Then you turn to the side and do this little thing like the kid does in Home Alone .. when he trick-fucks the two mangy bandits.

It must be the feeling you get when you know that you have just kicked some serious adult ass and you dont need anybody to tell you that you did.

"Take that you mangy bandits. I hope you're thirsty for more .. because there's plenty more where that came from."

But really, the roller coaster thing .. wow.

You must have four lungs.

In order to let it rip that hard for that long.

I think that's why I am in awe.

(No wonder Mariah Carey hates you.)

That fucked me up. I might never be the same.

(Probably won't. I mean, how can I now?)

I love you, girly. I cant help it. Not when you do shit like that.

I am not even sure which way is up anymore.

This is all your fault. You know it is. You cant deny it.

» Slayer in the Slaying Zone

That is some serious throwdown-action. Much respect.

You were very much in the zone.

Your steps, your timing, your gestures, your reserve, your self-possession.

I've never seen you so far into the zone before.

You were way-the-fuck in the zone. You were clearly feeling your oats. You are certainly an amazing creature.

» The Run-Up of the Slayer's Approach

Right before you kick ass here, you do this little run-up with a number of steps. You can feel it coming. You know that you are going to kick ass.

That little run up very much speaks to me. But I am not going to tell you what it says. (That would be too dangerous.)

» Both dangerous and "dangerous" ?

[ Speaking of dangerous things .. what does it mean here when Wesley says that George Michael seemed both dangerous and "dangerous." ?

(Notice how he put the period inside the closing quote, and not outside. That's how you're supposed to it. He did it right.)

I thought of you when I read his title .. about mattering beyond the music.

If I were a culture-bending super-hottie such as yourself .. I would want to matter beyond the music. (That's a big thought there, girly.)

This Wesley dude .. he's a Pulitzer winner. You gotta be a bad dude to win a Pulitzer.

Because there are very bad dudes who do not win Pulitzers .. because there are dudes that are even badder than them.

I respect pretty much anybody who wins a Pulitzer. He's a Philly boy who went to Yale. Good for him.

The Welsh fashion girl went to college in Philly. She was my first college girl, my first college graduate.

She showed me around the city a time or two. Or three. But we liked Georgetown better. We would spend the weekend together.

Life would've been much different with her. Much simpler. She was definitely heading in that direction.

I distinctly remember the decision making process in my head. The easy way .. or the hard way.

I have some good stories about her. (Such as meeting her dad .. tho the staircase story is my favorite .. party night.)

She made me feel loved. I'm not ready to tell those stories, tho.

My mom really liked her. Everybody liked her.

The sex with this girl was unlike that of any other. I mean, sex with every girl is different, sure.

But I would have to explain what I mean by this. And I'm not ready to do that. (BIg pussy, you know.) ]

» Please Give My Best to Your Wardrobe Person

You were looking very nice, too. Wow. Who dresses you? What a fun job that must be. This is some serious girly-girl action going on right here.

Did I say that you were looking extra-special yummy? Because you were.

(I see you doing our secret finger thingie, too. I see you doing a lot of things. And I like them all.)

You inspire me. You challenge me. You do lots of things to me.

Some of these things that you do to me feel so divine ..

.. that they are difficult, or even impossible to put into words.

But that doesnt keep me from trying.

The reason why I used the word 'awe' is because I felt this surrender thing.

This is not an easy thing to describe.

It's sort of like an acknowledgement that your ass has been kicked,

and it has been kicked so thoroughly that even the part of you that prefers denial

must admit that your ass has been kicked.

By a real, no-shit slayer.

It may sound severe, but it's actually a very cool feeling.

There is nothing quite like getting your ass slain by a real, no-shit slayer.

Thank-you for that very cool feeling .. you slayer extraordinaire.

(I owe you one. I still have some tricks up my sleeve, girly. You will see.)

In a way, this feeling of surrender surprises me. I am watching myself react to you .. and I am learning things about myself as I do.

Not everybody likes to learn about themselves, surprisingly enough. But I certainly do. This is yet another one of reasons why I like you, girly. (Would you like you know the other seven thousand?)

» When Both Lovers Continue to Grow in their Art and their Craft

Nana said to me once, "Your father stopped growing but your mother wanted to keep growing and learning. And that's why they grew apart."

I listen to Nana when she says stuff like this. She has this eerie ability to see through people. And she's never wrong. Not even once.

My point here, perhaps, is to say that it is a good thing when both lovers continue to grow in the relationship .. each in their own unique way .. yet somehow together.

See .. if your lover thwarts, rather than assists you in accomplishing you artistic goals .. in becoming who you know you should be .. you will resent them for this.

And this resentment will play out in your relationship .. even if you try not to let it. Because a lover who thwarts your creative artistic goals .. this is not really a lover. Not a real lover.

So you and I must each follow our own unique creative and artistic paths. And the degree to which we can be mutually beneficial .. this is a beautiful thing. (Because you are a beautiful person.)

I could so get off on a tangent here. But, perhaps my point is to say that I want to encourage your creative and artistic goals .. as I feel you encouraging mine.

Is it just me, girly, or does not this mutually-encouraging thing feel a lot like making love? Giving-n-taking.

» DNA is Genetic Code (Instructions)

In this way, it feels like we are doing a spiral thing .. like a double-helix strand of DNA .. playing off each other.

[ I got some DNA here for you here, girly. Some nuclear-grade code. DNA contains coded genetic information. The kind that is used to make babies that are perfect in every way. Girls have gone to great lengths to get my DNA, my genetic code, my genetic instructions. You cannot possibly imagine. I certainly couldnt. Even people who hate my guts say, "I must admit .. you do make good babies." In other words, they were complimenting my DNA .. but nothing else. (I cant say that I really understand it, but some people find it very difficult to pay a compliment. Close to impossible. They alone know what is good and right, and everybody else is bad and stupid .. anybody who does not agree with them and their ideas.) There is nothing we can do to change or alter or improve our DNA. It's sort of like the luck of the draw. Or at least is seems that way. When Zara sings, "It aint my fault you came in lookin' like that..." Well, it aint my fault either. You should probably read up on the concept of biogenesis. I mean, that's how you make babies that are perfect in every way. And DNA is the thing makes this possible. DNA is essentially information in the form of instructions .. on how to do things .. such as making a new baby. Karlie knows about code.

Speaking of DNA .. this article here is downright fascinating. ]

I know that you are feeling this thing.

If it feels half as good for you as it does for me, then you are feeling very fine indeed.

Certainly, you are looking very fine these days.

And yes, I am somebody who would know.

Havent I been telling you that we make a good team? I'm pretty sure that I have.

» Glutton for Punishment

Girly, look at you here .. touching yourself.

While looking so delicious and singing like that.

Surely you must know by now that you cannot do shit like this.

Such provocative shit.

Without expecting some kind of retaliation.

You are in so much trouble, girly.

This is now three things that I am obligated to pay you back for.

According the Formal Uniform Code of Knowledge for Lovers' Justice.

Surely you have heard of this classic volume. I have a copy right here, sitting beside me. Would you like to see it?

This is now three things, girly .. that I must respond to. I can see that you are a glutton for punishment.

I was trying to take it easy on you before, because you are such a girly-girl. And because you look so fragile and so easily breakable.

But now I can see that more severe measures will be necessary.

One of these things, girly .. is because you started doing this wavering thing with your voice when you sing "Oh my God," in Dangerous Woman.

That was very clever of you. I felt my respect for you grow.

I said to you, "Okay, girly .. if that's the way you want to play .. then, the next level it is. I hope you're ready for me. Few have survived this next level."

These are the kinds of things that go deep and trigger things down there .. that fuck you up. And for which you have no defense.

» Beautiful Soul Required

I have noticed in my life, Ariana, that there are some places that you simply cannot go .. without a beautiful soul to accompany you.

I dont want to admit this .. but it has certainly been my experience.

Thank-you for being part of my experience. A good part of it.

Sometimes people simply dont have what I need in a relationship. There is nothing necessarily wrong with them. They are merely not right for me.

» There was a Boy

There is a lyric in the song Nature Boy, which I first heard in the movie Moulin Rouge! .. which says » The greatest thing you'll ever learn .. is just to love and be loved in return.

Loving, and being loved in return .. what a rabbit hole that would be. On the one hand, the concept seems so obvious and so simple. But it's not.

The concept itself is simple enough .. the trick is in the execution.

I dont know if it's thee #1 greatest thing ever .. but, it's definitely up there with the greatest things that you can learn. No doubt about it.

I mean, any conversation about values and priorities is naturally going to include a discussion about loving and being loved.

I could so get off on a tangent here. But I'm too smart for that.

Rad note » this section on the lyrics to the song Nature Boy has been moved to its own page. (Guess I wasnt as smart as I thought I was.) See here » The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn (Dec 11, 2017).

At the end of that page, I have set a link that will return you here.

» You Can Only Go So Far by Yourself

Anyway .. while I am fine flying solo, because it can be challenging finding people who have what I need in a relationship .. you can only go so far by yourself.

(This is where you come in .. and you are always dressed very nicely whenever you do.)

My experience has been such that .. when you are ready to move on to the next level .. there will always be somebody there waiting for you.

And it's never who you expect. Sometimes it's even the last person you would ever imagine. Surprisingly often.

So the dynamics at work here, at play here, is that we do the necessary self-becoming, trusting that there is something cool waiting for us on the other end.

This is not as easy as it might seem, because you will need to leave behind old things. That kind of sucks sometimes. But if personal growth takes us to new places .. then we must go.

I bet that Abraham knows exactly what I am talking about here. Camila, too:

[ Camila says that, in the end, we really only have our memories. I say that, in the end, we really only have our stories. Same thing. ]

» You Werent There, Bitch

I bet that Keke knows what I am talking about, too.

Look at her here, giving Wendy shit on her own show.

"You werent there, Wendy .. so shut the fuck up."

You cannot possibly imagine the number of times I have thought,

"This motherfucker, who was not even there, and who has n.e.v.e.r been there, talks like they are an all-knowing expert."

Note: this section on Keke has been moved to its own page here » Keke and the Testimony of the Percipient Witness.

At the end of that page is a link that will return you here.

» Recognizing Nobility

I think that the reason why there is always someone waiting for us on the other side .. is because » one noble soul recognizes nobility in another.

And you admire that nobility because you yourself know how hard it was to get there.

And you bring the confidence that comes from having done a difficult thing.

[ Some girls are attracted to that confidence .. you can feel them feeling your confidence. (Even when you are trying to camouflage it.)

Sometimes they are more than just feeling you.

When you know (when you have the confidence) that you can bring a one-of-a-kind experience to certain types of women ..

.. the only question is, "Is this one of those women?"

They're usually not, but you can tell that they want to be. ]

This thing, where you are depending on another soul for something that you really need and want and desire and crave .. there is part of me that does not like depending on people for things like this. Because they so often let you down.

What do you think about the notion that the best relationships are those where the lovers bring out the best in each other? (As opposed to those where they bring out the worst in each other?)

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