Flirting with Danger - Addendum to the Addendum Part Three

••• today's entry continues here below •••

The page where I did use her name in the title .. was actually to Miranda. That somehow made it okay for me.

I have already noticed that I am using you, and referencing things that I wrote here with you and about you .. with Rihanna.

In other words, I am already 'building on' you .. so to speak. You are helping me with her.

No matter what happens .. we will still always be in love forever.

We are a good team, girly .. you-n-me. I'm not sure how you do it, but you bring out the best in me.

Speaking of people who bring out the best in me...

» A Totally Unexpected Reaction .. from Showing Attention to a Little Girl

One time I was at the park with my son. He was still pretty small. And there was a cute little girl there who was his age.

I was giving her some attention .. because I could see how well they played together.

He was sitting at the top of the slide, his lofty perch from where he would launch the red firetruck.

After it would careen down the slide and crash below, she would get that firetruck for him and bring it back to him .. so he could launch it down the slide again.

"That's true love right there," I thought, watching them play together.

When it was time for this girl to go (.. she was there with her grandmother) .. I said a very nice goodbye to her, and let her know how much I enjoyed seeing her .. and how I looked forward to seeing her next time.

When she left, my son covered his face with both hands and laid face-down on the ground under the park bench where I was sitting .. crying.

I picked him up off the ground. He was clearly distraught.

He did not like me giving attention to this girl. He had never done anything like that before.

And I normally shower him with attention. Even people who dont like me admit that I am an attentive father.

I did not understand his reaction. I did not understand how he could feel that way.

I mean, he is the reason .. why I am being nice to this little girl in the first place. If it werent for him, I wouldnt even be talking to her.

I felt so bad. I never want to make him cry. (Heck, I even take him back to his mom .. on the rare occasions when he wants to go back. Usually when he's feeling sick.) And he was not a complainer. He only cried when he was really hurt.

But I spent much time that day .. trying to communicate to him, and reassure him beyond the shadow of a doubt .. that he was the most important thing in my life. (And he clearly was.)

I gave him big hugs and kisses and tried my utmost to get down on his level and look him in the eye and tell him exactly how much he meant to me.

I told him how I sometimes feel sad for these kids who dont have a dad in their life .. like he does.

» A Kid in a Candy Store

As part of me making restitution .. we went to Dad's ice cream shop down on Balboa Island for an ice cream .. and then we raided the candy store across the street.

Perhaps he was just feeling insecure that day .. I dunno.

Sometimes I feel sorry for some of these kids there at the park. You can tell that they are starved for quality male attention.

Sometimes they see me doing stuff with my son .. and they want the same for themselves. But I cant do everything with them that I do with him.

Sometimes they see him climbing up on my lap .. and they want to climb up there with him.

Anyway, my point here is that .. just because I am giving some quality attention to another girl .. doesnt mean that we wont always be in love forever.

I already know that girls dont like it when I write about other girls. Cant really say that I blame 'em, either .. but, what can I do?

You shouldnt feel jealous .. but I could understand it if you did. (I'll make it up to you .. trust me. More than just ice cream.)

Maybe I should not be thinking of this story .. but I am.

As you can see, I need a little flexibility in my relationships. I'm not saying that this is easy .. merely that I can make it worth your while.

You know I can. I am the greatest writer who ever lived .. at least, that's what everybody keeps telling me.

The thing that makes a good joke good .. is when there is an underlying element of truth to the absurdity.

I learned this from Egan. He is a remarkably talented and even a gifted writer who is also a funny fucker who makes me laugh out loud .. in the dark by myself .. like a crazy person.

(I'm sure that Nietzsche laughed like this .. more than once.)

So, girly .. did you find my absurdity funny?

Relationships are only as strong as the trust behind them.

» New Boyfriend

Oh, I see that you got a new boyfriend. So you definitely should not be feeling jealous .. smooching in public and whatnot. (I could never do that public thing.)

He's the guy that did the Into You remix with the rap that says you aint just pussy. (I coulda told him that.)

Dante loved that remix. He replayed the 'pussy' part over a few times. He cracks me up. He's got a quarter-million subscribers.

Anyway .. you should have a nice guy who treats you well. If you like him, then I like him. (What happened to the dancer?) You can have any guy you want.

(A part of me likes that you have a boyfriend .. because then people will be less likely to talk.)

Surely he must accept that your are a sexy, talented Illuminati Ninja Princess .. and that you are going to be hit on everywhere you go.

And he understands that you will be working with some impressive creative people ...

So it doesnt seem like an easy thing to pull off. I cant help but wonder if you come to an understanding of sorts .. with your boyfriends. And what that understanding is. I dont see how you cannot lay-out the honest ground rules at the outset of the game.)

Any time a guy is dating a highly-desirable woman .. these types of issues come into play. No?

Are you going to tell him about us? [ I dont want to get a call from anyone saying, "I'm Ariana's boyfriend, and if you dont leave her alone, I'm gonna kick your ass." ]

When word about our thing finally got out, I remember the girl who you remind me of saying, "I would have never told him. I would've went to my grave with that secret."

I will wait until your new boyfriend leaves .. and then I will sneak down our quantum wormhole .. and steal your panties while you are sleeping. (Sweet dreams, girly.)

I have a story along these lines .. about the girl who you remind me of. Perhaps I will return to share this story .. but probably not. (I have still not heard back from her.)

Is it just me .. or does this not feel bigger than us? I ask this realizing that you are pretty big yourself.

Dangerous things are definitely afoot. (I have never used that word before .. afoot. David likes this word, too.) And I am not alone here. (More danger here and here and here.) Megyn talks danger here. Speaking of dangerous things afoot... (dot-dot-dot)

< end update July 4, 2016 opening line of quantum goodness with Rihanna >

» Prophets of Rage

Speaking of dangerous things ..

.. did you notice that a new group was just formed » Prophets of Rage.

This actually speaks to me .. in an existential sort of way.

(Tho I dare not share what it is saying. Plus, you would never believe it, anyway, if I told you.)

Prophets of Rage .. I thought of what Ezekiel wrote here ..

.. that he went "embittered in the rage" of his spirit.

Ezekiel was a prophet .. a prophet enraged. Or so he wrote. I have been feeling him lately.

I know a little something about this rage. I actually know a lot of something about it (.. certainly more than I would ever care to know).

And notice how it caused "consternation" among those to whom Ezekiel was sent. Because I know a little something about causing such consternation .. maybe even more than a little. (Certainly more than I would ever care to know.)

What is it, do you think, that has Ezekiel so embittered and so enraged? And why is he causing so much consternation among the exiles? You know .. the ones living down there by the river Chebar.

[ Sounds like a nice place to chill .. down there by the river. I have chlled myself down by many a river. Tho never one named Chebar. ]

Consternation .. now there's a word that you hear every day. Defn » "A state of paralyzing dismay. See Synonyms at fear."

Also » "Amazement or horror that confounds the faculties, and incapacitates for reflection; terror, combined with amazement; dismay."

Oh, girly .. look at the defn from WordNet 3.0 » n. fear resulting from the awareness of danger.

When I saw that definition, I didnt say, "You gotta be shittin' me," .. but you can bet your ass I was thinking it.

Boy, is this ever a rabbit hole .. forming right before my very eyes. I should probably quit here .. or there's no coming back. (It's definitely bigger than us, girly.)

I would be lying if I said that I never did any research into the subject of prophets and prophecy. It's a fascinating topic .. to say the least.

I was starting to talk to Rihanna about this. And this is sort of why I asked if you sensed any prophetic qualities from Stevie Wonder.

» Making Britney Move

July 15, 2016 » Girly, did you see that Britney dropped a new song today?

Kinda outta nowhere.

Interesting lyrics, doncha think?

I couldnt help but notice the phrase 'dangerous woman' in her lyrics.

(You're gonna get us in trouble yet, girly.)

The title of Britney's new song, per the official release graphic, is » Make Me.

But when you go to her Vevo page, and especially at her Genius lyrics page ..

.. the title is rendered at these places as » Make Me... (« notice 3 little trailing dots).

I write titles myself, you know. A lot of them.

Titles are important .. for different reasons at different times. But you should always let the title choose itself. It will always come up with the best title. (Fitzgerald is my favorite titler.)

Anyway, I almost missed the 3 little dots. But, on her Genius lyrics page, you cannot miss them .. the large, bright-yellow lettering sitting there on a black background .. provides a jump-out-at-you contrast. Even I couldnt miss them there.

The song's Wikipedia page also contains the three dots in the title.

» Where Do Britney's Dots Lead?

See, to me .. a song titled Make Me, and one titled Make Me... (dot-dot-dot) .. are » two very different songs.

Tho, I will not not elaborate on the differences .. because then I would start to sound like a nut-case. (Which I already do enough of with you .. more than enough, actually.)

I was in the bath earlier today, and I am actually feeling Britney. That is very surprising .. yet there you have it. It is what it is.

Of course, the imaginative person might find himself wondering .. given the song's suggestive, dot-dot-dot title » "Where are those three little dots leading me to? And what is it that Britney wants me to make her do?"

Valid questions, no?

So naturally, my curiosity got the best of me .. and I had to take a look for myself .. and see where her dots lead.

First thing I noticed .. was that she wants me to » make her move.

But, not just any ol' kind of moving will do for Britney. (Of course not.)

» Like It Aint a Choice .. Like You Got a Job to Do

The kind of moving that Britney is talking about here is the kind you do when it's » "Like it ain't a choice for you, like you got a job to do."

And I think, "Fuck .. I know exactly what she is talking about there. That's right up my alley. If there's one thing that I know how to do..."

And I would be lying if I said that I didnt have experience with that body-type. And more than just a little, too.

Tho, I am not so much of a roof-raiser as I am a mattress-destroyer and a box-spring owner. A disorienter of sorts.

See .. sometimes you wanna make them move, sure. But other times, you want to find their groove .. and engage with it .. and move with them in their groove.

Or, at least, as long as you can .. until that aggressive thing takes over .. and demands satisfaction .. however it wants to be satisfied today. Then, all bets are off.

Britney could have easily titled this song » Make Me Move or Make Me Oooh or Whatever She LIked .. right?

But, that's not what she did. Why the three dots, Britney?

[ Oh, look .. speaking of Britney's three leading dots .. David Brooks is using a shitload of dots here (July 19, 2016). He uses them effectively. This is actually one of his most insightful columns. I used to give David shit .. and tell him what he just didnt get. He thought, for example, that Mitt Romney calling Trump a fuckhead was going to hurt the Donald with voters. (Au contraire, mon frère, David.) Other times, I love what he writes. So, it's kind of a love/hate thing with him. I was actually impressed by his column today (.. even without the dots). ]

» My Real-Time Spacing Dots .. Are Mostly Only For Me

These dots that I use .. the two spacing dots .. these are mostly only for me. Later, after the text-narrative gels, and I can see that it is indeed doing and saying what I want it to do and to say .. then, I will remove them.

Sometimes, it takes a second or third effort to really say what you want to say. Clearly and concisely.

I publish real-time as I write. So, I need to come up with a system that provides a more forgiving environment for the errors that will naturally and inevitably occur in such an environment.

I know how to dial-in text. I am actually very good at that. It simply takes time and effort and focus and it can become tedious. It's very much like combing the knots out of long hair.

[ Would you like me to comb your hair, girly? I am very good at combing long, girly-hair. Maybe after a bath sometime? Candlelit of course. ]

» Exploring the Creative Aspects of Writing

Right now however, I am more interested in, and exploring, the creative aspects of writing .. where the nothing becomes something.

This aspect of writing is more concerned with ideas. All kinds of ideas. Crazy ideas. Erotic ideas. Profound ideas. All kinds of ideas. So the editing naturally takes a back-seat.

After I first publish a new section, I will usually go thru it a time or two .. to ensure that there are no glaring errors. But not always.

(I dont mind looking imperfect or unpolished, because I know that I can do that, and I can do that well. Speaking of things that I do particularly well...)

» Making Perfect Babies With Britney

Britney looks good here .. walking around out in the desert there, wearing those cool thigh-high boots .. with a flimsy scarf trailing in the breeze .. dragging on the ground behind her. Nice contrast(s).

It totally reminded me of the girls in Mad Max Fury Road. (Whose sole function and only purpose in life was to get pregnant and make babies that are "perfect in every way".)

No one will say that Britney does not understand the power of suggestion. Notice, for example, in this image that she throws out at us for the song's official release ..

» The Walking Paradox of Britney's Triangles

.. of a scantily-clad beauty strolling leisurely out in the desert somewhere. (I'm sure it's very warm wherever she happens to be strolling.)

And they craft this image so that her lower half forms a large triangle.

And right in the middle of this large triangle sits another, much smaller, triangle.

Barely noticeable, yet unmistakable. A paradox, I know.

Now, triangles are something that I happen to know a lot about.

Geometry, trig, algebra, calculus .. I pretty much know how to slice-n-dice a triangle any which way that you might need me to.

(I know you feel me.)

Triangles speak to me. They talk to me.

I'm not even going to tell you what they say.

Subtle. Understated. Yet provocative.

Anyway .. I wont say any more about triangles here. But I could feel Britney's triangles dialing the combination to my safe.

Many more interesting lyrics I found there .. tho, I can easily drive myself crazy analyzing them. It seems to happen on its own. The machine kicks into gear and you just cant stop the churing.

You know how I can get sometimes.

I've only seen one reaction video, but he was clearly impressed.

Britney had her meltdown phase .. so I sympathize with her there. She looks pretty healthy now, tho, if you ask me.

It's gotta be hard to come out of that child-star thing .. into your own .. with so many eyes watching every move you make.

You parallel her there in that respect.

» Helen Gurley Brown Reminds Me of Britney

I actually thought of Britney yesterday when I read this article on the legacy of Helen Gurley Brown ..

.. particularly where it says » "There is a catch to achieving single bliss," Brown told her "Single Girl" readers. "You have to work like a son of a bitch."

This made me think of Britney's song (2013) » Work Bitch. (I like that song .. I like the video, too.)

I dont know how you girls do it. I mean, the voice in the back of my head says, "There must be three of them."

That paragraph on the legacy of Helen Gurley Brown concludes like so »

"Cosmo reiterated that any girl could diet, exercise, groom, shop, flirt and sleep her way into having it all -- another phrase that Brown helped make ubiquitous. The trick was indefatigability. Today, when career advisers exhort us to "do what you love, and love what you do" and pop songs tell us to "work it," to be sexy at work and to work at being sexy not only isn't shocking; it's expected."

» A Cool Cosmo Tangent with Tunie

I probably shouldnt tell you this .. but my cousin, Diane, who I call 'Tunie Oonie Woonie,' who is the closest thing I have to a sister ..

.. on the subject of that quote above, about Helen Gurley Brown and Cosmo .. Tunie got a job selling Cadillacs and married the owner not long after .. even tho he was older than her dad. And even tho he had sons older than her.

But he was a cool, fucking guy. The stories he would tell. Oh my. You could sit around the kitchen table with him for hours and never be bored. (And I did.)

So, yeah .. you could say that Tunie was a Cosmo girl. (I have a shitload more stories about Tunie the Cosmo girl that I could share.)

» The Menu with No Prices Listed

I think that my mom actually wanted a girl, but she got two boys instead, who "took a lot out of her." So Tunie was like her only daughter. (They lived upstairs.)

One time Tunie said to me, "A long time ago, your mom told me, "Diane, you'll know you're at a fancy restaurant when you get a menu that has no prices listed'."

Tunie was telling me about the time she found herself at just such a restaurant, with just such a menu in hand .. and how she remembered what my mom had told her. And how that made her feel.

It was a great story. But this was something that my mom would never say to me. My mom never told me the story about going to that fancy restaurant that she told Tunie.

One time, my mom said to me, rather frustrated, "I hope you have a son just like you .. so you can see what you put me thru."

I did not take it this way, but she clearly meant this as a sort of curse. And the reason why I didnt take it as a curse is because .. I could see that my folks didnt get me.

[ I had told my son's mom this story about what my mom had said to me years ago. And I remember when we were at the doctor's office for an ultrasound check-up of her pregnant belly.

She never came right out and said it, but you could tell from the things she had said that she felt confident that a baby girl was growing in her belly.

And when the technician had the ultrasound probe on her well-jellied belly .. she asked, "If I can see the sex, would you want to know?"

And we looked at each other and said, "Yes."

The technician said, "Well, there's the penis."

As God is my witness, when she heard that, she turned white as a sheet.

When I mentioned it to her later, she said, "I remembered what you said that your mom had said to you."

She obviously did not want a son who was "just like me." ]

They thought that I was like them .. but I wasnt. I dont really know why I wasnt like them .. but I knew that I wasnt.

And if I had a son who was "just like me" .. then, I would thank God that he was like me and not like them. But I will not elaborate on what I mean by "like them".

I could see that they had a lot of old-world influence in them .. but we were clearly living in the new world. (What a rabbit hole this would be.)

But I knew that I did not want to be like them. I could see, early on, that their values sucked giant donkey dick .. to a degree that it was negatively affecting me. In a big way.

And if I ever had a son who was "like me," then I would know how to make him thrive in the world .. instead of sucking the life out of him .. like they were trying so hard to do to me.

Their actions were saying to me, "We have had the life sucked out of us, so we must naturally suck the life out of you." Perhaps they thought that they were preparing me for entry into the world.

Which I guess I should feel grateful to them for. But I was not planning on living in their lifeless world. Fuck, no.

When I finally left home, I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. I know that this might sound harsh, but it is an accurate representation of how I genuinely felt. And I could get far more detailed here .. if need be.

It seemed to me that they had trouble seeing even the most obvious things. I remember thinking, "I gotta get the fuck out of here .. it doesnt really matter how."

» An Unexpectedly Cool Tangent

I dont know how this reads, but from the writing side of things, this is a very cool tangent.

I am surprised at myself for going here.

I dont think that the writer can ever consciously decide to explore tangents of this nature.

He must rather be somehow 'triggered' into taking and exploring these tangents.

This is why, girly, I explore crazy tangents that you open to me, and for me.

Because .. you never know what delights you might find down there.

I kind of want to show and express my appreciation right now. But I'm not going to tell you how I want to that.

Any time the writer finds himself bumping into Alice Miller, he knows that he is on a cool tangent. She is one of my heros.

Alice Miller said that » "Emotional access to the truth is the indispensable precondition of healing."

That's a huge fucking statement. It resonates with my own experience. Hopefully you will never have to learn the truth of that statement.

I hope that Britney releases a video for this new song, too. Oh, here it is .. Britney doing her role reversal. I bet that she is a good wrestler, too. Wrestling is very much about leverage .. gaining positions of leverage over your opponent. Sometimes the girls give you these positions of leverage over them .. and sometimes you take them yourself .. because it is clear that this is what she really needs. Later, she will express her appreciation in a new and unique way .. but, for now, you need to make her .. and keep at it .. until she concedes. "What will she concede?" you ask. I dare not say. It's unspeakable.

< end update Friday July 15, 2016 Britney releases Make Me... >

» Britney to Perform Make Me... at the 2016 VMAs

August 17, 2016 » Oh, look .. Britney is gonna perform this song at the 2016 VMAs.

And she's gonna use Nick Jonas, who obviously has a thing for older women.

When I saw that Nick was going to be involved (with Britney, after being seen with Kate Hudson), I thought, "He's obviously a glutton for punishment."

I would give young Mr. Nick the same advice that the referee gives to the boxers at the beginning of a fight » "Protect yourself at all times."

You know that Britney has a few tricks up her sleeve that he has never seen before. 

Oh, it looks like I misread that thing. Britney and Nick will indeed be performing at the 2016 VMAs, but not together. I would still however, advise young Nick to protect himself at all times .. especially if he sees Britney heading his way.

< end update august 17 Britney to perform at the 2016 VMAs with Nick >

» You So Do It For Me, Girly

August 5, 2016 » You are pattern-matching on me. That speaks to me.

And there are implications that come with the things that this speech is saying. I can tell that I need to think about these implications. I probably wont be writing about these implications, either. (Cuz then I would definitely sound like a nut-case.)

You do get me, girly. You do indeed.

I know that I shouldnt be surprised .. but I am.

You cant match patterns on someone .. unless you really get them.

Demonstrating a proficiency for something is always more difficult than merely stating you possess such a proficiency, no?

I mean, anybody can say, "I love you." But .. how can you really know? How can you know that they really do indeed love you? This is a valid question that you pose.

Rad note » this section on the Whitney Houston medley has been moved to its own page .. see here » The Thing that I Need (More Than Enough Of It).

This is the end of the addendum to the addendum. ■■■■

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