The Thing that I Need (More Than Enough Of It)

This entry originated from another page. It was moved here its own, separate entry for reasons far too intimate for words.

At the end of this entry (that you're reading now) I have included a link that will return you to the exact spot from where this entry originated. Here ya go, my friend...

» You So Do It For Me, Girly

You are pattern-matching on me. That speaks to me.

And there are implications that come with the things that this speech is saying. I can tell that I need to think about these implications. I probably wont be writing about these implications, either. (Cuz then I would definitely sound like a nut-case.)

Ariana Singing a Whitney Houston Medley on ABC Greatest Hits Finale on August 4, 2016You do get me, girly. You do indeed.

I know that I shouldnt be surprised .. but I am.

You cant match patterns on someone .. unless you really get them.

Demonstrating a proficiency for something is always more difficult than merely stating that you possess such a proficiency, no?

I mean, anybody can say, "I love you." But how can you really know? How can you know that they really do indeed love you? This is a valid question that you pose.

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••• today's entry continues here below •••

At some point, we all say, "Show me that you love me. Show me in your own, special way .. in a way that you and only you can do. Take your time .. no hurry. Show me what you know about loving and be a lover. Show me this love that you want me to commit to."

I am sad to say that, more often than not, you get a disappointing response here. Because, they cant show you .. if they dont get you. [ Oh, the stories I could tell here .. the books I could write on this topic alone. ]

But you do not disappoint, girly. Like I said .. I know that I shouldnt be surprised.

» Yet Another Cosmic Confirmation of Being In Love Forever

You do get me, girly .. you do indeed. You are becoming familiar with me .. intimately, some might say.

I share things with you that I thought I would never share with anybody.

This medley that you sang here .. it is yet another cosmic confirmation from the universe .. that we will forever be in love.

I kinda like the idea, Ariana, of being in love forever .. dont you?

"How will you know?" you ask? Well, the first way you'll know .. is when they start breaking their rules for you. And they keep breaking more of them. (See, I do indeed know about these things.)

Next, they love e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g about you. (Again, guilty.)

And, even after they go off and talk to the most enticing people, they always come back home to you, and when they do, they are clearly glad to see you.

Is it just me .. or were you not literally glowing. (Maybe it was just the studio lighting playing tricks on my eyes.)

Ariana's signature trademark ponytail trying to keep up while she sings a Whitney Houston medley on ABC Greatest Hits Finale August 4, 2016You display a confidence well beyond your years.

I watched the video (and I listened to you sing those songs) a bunch of times late last night before bed.

I was feeling pretty good .. smiling a lot.

Then I went to bed. And that is when I started feeling emotional.

Before this, I was kinda thinking, "Hey, I'm gonna get thru this thing without a serious emotional ass whupping."

(Even tho I saw that you again had your pack of ninjas helping you. They really are very talented. Like an acrobatic, dancing GQ magazine.)

You make a difficult thing easier.

[ Some girls try their darnedest to make an already difficult thing even more difficult. Why would they do such a thing? Why would they ever want to sew seeds of bad intention? Why would they want to fabricate the most hideous lies about you and want your ass in jail? I would think, "Where is this stuff coming from? I cannot even imagine such a thing. Such a hideous thing." I obviously dont get it. ]

You inspire me, girly .. to dig deeper and to push further. You are a dazzling creature. You breathe life into me (.. instead of sucking it out of me).

» She Wont Know Which Way Is Up

Ariana upsidedown on the pommel horse at the 2016 MTV VMAs at MSG in NYC August 28Sometimes, particularly after I've had an inspired stretch of writing ..

.. my ego will say to me, "Dude, you are so the man. You totally kicked her ass. When she reads this, she wont know which way is up."

But then you sing these medleys and these songs, and I think, "Wow, this girl is tougher than I thought .. a lot tougher. She is not playing around. She is a slayer cometh."

And that is when I feel inspired to up my game .. to dig a little deeper .. and to push a little further.

» Not Alone in the World (a Very Cool Feeling)

It is again this feeling that you get .. when you simply feel that another human being really gets you .. at a level beyond merely superficial .. and likes you and even cares about you.

Maybe it's just me .. but this is a very cool thing. Because this means that I am not alone in the world.

I would be lyin' if I said that I didnt feel like I felt the breeze of your presence blow thru my soul .. with the most refreshing effect.

"Oh .. I like this girl," I heard something inside say.

I'm not sure how you do this, but it actually feels like you are helping to mend the mangled parts of me. (I have been pretty mangled.)

I am feeling you in places that I did not even know that I had.

I was surprised at your ability to pattern-match so well. "I got the stuff that you want .. I got the thing that you need."

There is a part of me that is reluctant to admit this .. because, if you invest and depend on people .. they too often let you down. But even this reluctant part of me had to admit, "She does have a point there." ( Admitting that you got the thing that I need. )

When I heard you sing, "He's the one I'm dreaming of." and "When I wake from dreaming..." .. I thought, "I gotta go set a link to this video to the place where I tell Rihanna how I steal Ariana's panties while she's sleeping."

Are you anticipating me .. or playing off of me? (Probably both.) Anticipation suggests a deeper connection .. which is why I ask.

Or, can you feel me anticipating you? Anticipation involves timing .. being in the right place at the right time with the right thing. You know.

Speaking of adding links .. I went back and added a link of your Whitney Houston tribute .. to where I mention a "carefree spring in her step."

When I saw the way you walk out-n-back during the first song, during How Will I Know .. the way you walk there made me think of that.

(You make me think of a lot of crazy shit, girly.)

When I saw you using these two Whitney Houston songs, I thought of how I have used Fitzgerald and Tolstoy and Nabokov on you.

Dont make me get all Whitney Houston on your assAnd I imagined you saying, "Dont make me get all Whitney Houston on your ass."

There are so many matching patterns here ..

.. that I am surprised you were able to cram so many into only two songs.

Concentrated goodness.

» Ferociously Observant

I noticed that you thru in another "Heh." at t=2:05. Dont think I missed that. I am ferociously observant (especially with you).

» Ferocious Feelings for Dangerous Women

Speaking of ferocious things .. did you notice here, girly .. where I wrote that I felt like I wanted to have sex with you? .. at that particular moment .. when I was writing those particular things .. when I was telling you those things .. when I was sharing with you those things.

Give me points for honesty. Honesty breeds trust. Trust breeds intimacy. Intimacy breeds all kinds of things .. most of which are too sublime for words. Yet I find myself striving nonetheless. (Because you inspire me.)

I feel like having sex with you more than just that one time, sure. But, I could not stop myself from writing it that particular time. Can you blame me?

Now, sometimes I go back and read stuff that I have previously written .. and I actually turn around, and look over both shoulders .. to see if someone isnt standing behind me .. telling me what to write. Whispering to me. "Who's writing this?" I wonder.

But, this wasnt one of those times. Because I know exactly where this came from.

My point here, perhaps, is that I dont think it's a coincidence .. that I declared such a bold thing there in that section where I told you about the industrial-strength Lolita hottie who you remind me of.

This is kinda what I mean by my use of the term 'dangerous' .. as it applies to you, and girls like you. I know you can see this.

[ I can see that the slaying must continue, girly. The slaying must go on. ]

» Murdered .. by the World's Greatest Lover

Speaking of slaying, there is a good line here (at t=1:30), where Chris Pratt's character says (with a stone face) » "Then they will be murdered .. by the world's greatest lover."

That cracked me up. This comes after they say, "We got seven .. he's got an army."

The reason I mention it .. is because, I know that feeling, girly .. world's greatest lover.

It requires a life-long dedication to an unrealistic ideal .. in other words, something that is » right up my alley.

Still speaking of slaying .. between the two songs, you display some looks where I paused you and I heard a voice say, "Does this look like a girl who is playing games? No, she is not playing. She has clearly come to slay."

That writing where I wanted to have sex with you .. that was very organic and authentic writing .. wouldnt you agree?

Could you feel how organically it came? And how authentically I was feeling it? (I'm sure you can. I feel confident that you can. Very confident.)

That passionate confession came during the writing that I added on June 4th (top third of Page Nine) .. where I returned to tell you about the girl who you remind me of .. despite much reluctance and even tho it made me sound like a big pussy.

The smoking-hot industrial-strength hottie whose skin was literally glowing. And whose boldness surprised me. And who made me look away.

Can you see now .. why it was smart of me not to go over there and talk to this girl? (Even tho it made me look like a big pussy.) You keep helping to make my points for me, girly.

» Ever More and Better Love All the Time

After the initial sparkling feeling of being in love .. and after the deeper and more broader feelings that come with time and trust .. there comes a more confident aspect to love ..

.. where you are not concerned that your lover might loose interest in you, or be more dazzled by another.

It almost feels like a r.e.s.e.r.v.e of love .. that you build up over time .. thru trust and demonstrating (repeatedly) your love. [ Actions speak louder. ]

It feels like a trusting-confident assurance of that love. It is one of the best feelings in the universe. In my opinion. You are convinced of that love .. through and through. You know that you know. You can feel and sense their love for you .. overwhelmingly, at times.

When you get to this place, you know that you have found a good lover. Because you need a lot of things to get there. Big girl stuff.

» It's Okay If She's Not Into You

This part, where you are demonstrating your love, can be tricky, because different people are looking for different things .. because they have different needs and different values. Often very different.

See .. if a girl is looking for a guy with money (which many are) then, she is not going to be "into" me. Because I dont have "the thing" that she wants, nor "the thing" that she craves, that she desires.

And I totally understand that. I mean, this is the very definition of the starving writer, is it not? In other words, sure, I get it. There are plenty of guys out there with lots of money for girls like this .. who are all about the money. (More than enough.)

The court says that I owe the mom so much money .. that I dont see how I can ever catch up. Even the interest alone on this amount is staggering. So I am walking financial deficit. A big one .. that keeps getting bigger all the time. (Every month.)

In a true, committed relationship .. of any kind, really .. you need to give something of yourself. You can almost hear yourself saying, "I really like this person .. I am going to give them something of myself."

» Relationships are Defined by the Piece of Yourself that You Give

Now some girls seem to think that this is not enough .. that you give them a piece of your heart. They want your soul and they want the whole fucking thing.

I know that this might seem hard to believe, but I can assure you that it is the god's honest truth. Your heart is not enough for them. (These girls are clearly not for me.)

Tho I must say that these are exactly the kinds of girls who cannot give you a piece of their own heart. They can be certainly be pleasant enough, and yes, I like pleasant enough .. but pleasant enough isnt satisfying nearly enough for anything more than a short-term fling.

For me to remain in a long-term committed relationship .. I am going to need a piece of her heart. Not the whole thing .. but definitely a part of it.

And which part she gives me is going to be very telling. Do I get a steaming piece of prime rib with plenty of horseradish? Or do I get a cold baloney sandwich? Made with week-old, stale bread.

These things speak to you .. like no other things can. Am I saying anything that is not already intuitively obvious to everybody?

» Lovers vs Fighters

Or if a girl is looking for someone to fight with .. if she's looking for someone with whom she can work out all her latent, unprocessed hostilities .. that she has built up from years of past boyfriends who fucked her over .. then this is not me either. (This is what therapists are for.)

I have already fought waay more than I care to. I have already fought way more than my fair share's worth. And it gets the relationship nowhere but Uglysvillle.

It's clearly not for me. I'm interested in loving, not fighting. .. so I'm looking for a lover, not a fighter.

Call me old fashioned, but the bond that we have with our lover .. this should be one of the most loving and caring and considerate bonds of all .. where we express this love and this kindness and this consideration. And not the place where we express our anger and our hostility and our meanness.

Do your own research and I'm confident that you will find .. that the older a girl gets, the more likely she is to want to fight.

Because the older she gets, the more likely she is to have been fucked over by some guy. And now she badly wants to process these negative emotions with you (on you, at you) .. emotions she couldnt process with Mr. Fuckhead .. because he left her emotionally high-n-dry.

» Sage Relationship Advice to Fassbender from a Weathered Old Texan

[ I was telling Fassbender about what my wise, old Texan friend had said after years of trial-n-error with women. It was his strong opinion that guys should find a young girl and treat her good. Because, once a girl get fucked over a few times by guys (he said) then they become bitter.

He was 72. He had a whole life's worth of experience from which to draw his conclusion. I found interesting his ideas and his perspectives.

He smoked a little ganja every night .. to help him fall asleep. Isnt Willie Nelson from Texas? He certainly is weathered enough. ]

» Drama Queens Not For Me, Thank You Very Much

Or if a girl is looking for drama .. this is not me either. She is not looking for me.

I have had more than my fair share of drama. Much more. (You cannot imagine how much more.) This drama often ends up with me going to jail. Or something similarly unpleasant.

So, we need to find that person who (like you sing about) has the stuff that we want and the thing that we need. And for whom, we ourselves have the stuff that they want and the thing that they need.

» A Mutual Giving and Receiving that Works for Both

The most basic and elemental form of all relationships looks something like this » "I will give you this thing that I have, because I really like you. And you will give me this other thing that you have, because you really like me, too. I like the way that you liking me feels. If you feel anywhere near the way that I do, then you must feel really good yourself and you must really like me a lot."

No? There is a mutual giving and receiving. (Sometimes at the same time. That's my favorite part.)

Another basic approach with developing relationships is to determine where we agree and build on those areas.

But some girls are so insecure .. that if you dont agree with everything they say and think .. then they are offended .. like you are rejecting them as a person.

I know that this might seem unbelievable .. but I can assure you that it is very much real.

I would ask them straight up, "Do you want me to lie and tell you that I agree with your perspective on this thing .. even when I dont?"

They never say 'yes,' but they never say 'no,' either.

Who wants to be with a person who says that they agree with everything you say and think .. even when they dont? (rhetorical, yes.)

I'm not really sure what such a girl is looking for in a relationship. But I know that she isnt looking for me. Maybe she is looking for someone like her dad.

(Which is all well and fine .. but this is not me. Not even close. Because I am just trying to be myself .. not anybody's dad.)

» A Remarkable Vocal Display

Speaking of the thing that I like and I need and that makes me feel so good .. you look so good here. I so badly wanted to run up there and tackle your ass. You are a sight for sore eyes, girly.

I like your bangs, too. I like everything about you.

Whitney Houston .. you totally pulled that off. I know that I shouldnt be surprised .. but the degree to which you nailed it .. that was very fucking impressive. More than enough.

Whitney Fucking Houston .. what balls you have. What huevos rancheros.

I hate to keep harping on how good you sing. I know that I must be starting to sound like a broken record by now .. but I just cant help it. You sing so good. I mean, it's no big secret. (Ask anybody.)

What a big loss Whitney was .. a loss for the home team.

What a voice she had. They had her sing at the Superbowl after the World Trade Towers came down. (Who else are you gonna call?) And no, she did not look scared.

She was a beautiful creature, too. What a voice. What a soul.

Speaking of beautiful creatures with beautiful souls...

» Exploring the Essence of Creativity with a Beautiful Creature

I like you, girly .. I like you a lot. You make me feel good. You make me feel like I am walking in the clouds among the gods.

You make me wanna write more pages to you. For you. About you. With you. On you. Because you inspire me.

Is it just me .. or is this not weirdest thing ever? This feels bigger than us, girly.

This is very much new to me. I am figuring this out .. as I go. I can feel myself playing off of you. And fuck if that dont feel fine. Mighty fine.

I like playing off of you, girly .. I like it a lot. We are making this up as we go .. creating this thing .. seemingly out of nothing.

We are a good team .. you-n-me. Didnt I tell you? Writers and singers .. peanut butter and jelly.

Can you tell that I liked the songs? You sing so amazingly well. You so do it for me. On so many levels.

Sing me a song and I'll tell you a story. I am not really sure how this story will turn out .. and normally, they end badly .. which is what makes this particular story so dangerous.

I am telling myself that I have made every possible mistake that there is to make. So I know where all the land-mines lie. And how to avoid them. And no, it's not easy. (« anticipating your thoughts here, which is something that lovers do)

Have you heard the adage » it is more difficult to maintain than it is to obtain? (I wonder what the Rolling Stones think of that saying.)

Once you get up and get out on the wave .. now you need to figure out how to stay there. And let the wave take you.

To wherever it is taking you. And these are places that you would normally never think to go yourself.

Flirting with Danger .. that was a good title that I came up with. Doncha think?

Ariana glowing while she sings a Whitney Houston medley on ABC Greatest Hits finale August 4, 2016I'm gonna go listen to those songs again.

You are so fucking amazing .. I can hardly stand it.

I am not gonna say that I love you, girly ..

.. or maybe, I just wont be able to help myself any longer.

» Do You Feel Loved?

Tell me, Ariana .. do you feel loved? You should.

[ Look at how close I am here to actually saying it .. without actually saying it. That is pretty close.

Can you feel the warmth of my breath on your ear? I'm not actually touching you .. but I'm as close as I can get without actually touching you.

And I use your name here. I dont often use your name .. because I want to save it for the extra-special times.

The writer needs ways to express and convey the things that he is feeling inside.

At this rate, I might have to invent and create a whole new language for you. With you. On you. To you. ]

With my son, I spent much energy to employ the writer's every-present adage to show, not tell. To demonstrate my love for him .. in tangible ways.

How do you show someone that you really love them? That depends on who you are showing, no? Because different people interpret love in different ways. (And some people arent even looking for love. For them, love is a unicorn.)

» Our Dangerous Erotic Love-Story

I dont know where this is going .. but, I can tell that it's gonna be a lot of fun getting there. A lot of dangerous fun.

Ariana singing Into You a cappella black-n-white lyric dangerousYou are the thing that makes it fun.

And you are the thing that makes it dangerous.

And you are definitely the thing that makes it erotic.

Sing me a song and I'll tell you a story.

Our story.

Our erotic story.

Our erotic, dangerous story.

Our erotic, dangerous love story. (Is there any other kind?)

Recall what the intro to the 1955 erotic masterpiece, Lolita, said » it is a story about love, not sex.

» The Erotic Writer's Acid Test

In order for me to be able to claim any kind of writer's parity with Nabokov .. it is necessary for you to feel loved.

I admit that this is one of those abstract writer's things, which we're not supposed to talk about, but there are meaningful parallels between the two stories, which are set in two very different times.

[ There are so many meaningful parallels that I want to explore with you, girly. I want to explore them in great detail. I want to explore how deep and how far these parallels resonate. Are you scared? (You probably should be.) ]

The 50's were considered by some to be America's golden age .. it's only golden age, perhaps.

And now is now. Life now is very different from life in the 50's. But I can feel the creative parts of me taking the erotic spirit of Lolita and pushing it forward sixty years. (You make this easy for me, girly. I am doing a little time-smear on you here .. I hope you dont mind.)

Speaking of pushing things forward ...

Some day, in the sweet by-and-by, a group of famous writers will approach you and want to know the answer to this question » Did his writing make you feel loved and desired and erotic?

Now, if you say something like, "Well, sorta kinda." .. then, they will just laugh at me and my writing.

But, if you say, "I was over the rainbow and floating on Cloud Nine .. downright orgasmic, at times. My panties were literally steaming for days on end." .. then, they will give me a nod of respect and say, "Dude, you are so the man .. welcome to the club."

So, you kinda hold the key to my reputation with the greats of all time.

[ Speaking of feeling loved and being on Cloud Nine .. would you say that my son looks like he is feeling loved in this photo of him? I mean, I can assure you that he is indeed loved. I merely seek your opinion here .. if you think that he looks like he is feeling that love.

Some people are just so easy to love, you know. You almost cant help yourself. ]

Or, maybe my point here is that .. I dont really care what anybody else thinks of this writing .. but you. ( True statement. ) I mean, if the whole world loved it and you hated it .. that would feel most unsatisfying.

From a certain perspective, you are the only reason I am writing this. Speaking of perspectives...

» A Mad Scientist Must be Experimenting with the Electrical Impulses to My Brain

Remind me to tell you what my Philosophy prof said in class one evening. At F&M. It keeps returning. The story obviously wants to be told. (Just like this one.) A lesson wrapped in a story.

It will take me a little bit to detail that Philosophy story .. but, I thought about the story after I thought about you singing this Whitney Houston medley, and I thought » "This shit cant possibly be real. There must be a mad scientist somewhere, fucking with the electrical impulses to my brain, which is sitting in a vat of warm, gelatin liquid somewhere .. just to see how my consciousness will respond .. just to see what I'll do."

[ I probably shouldnt feel alone here .. because there are many things going on today that are hard to believe .. even tho you are seeing them with your own two eyes. ]

My point here, perhaps, is that a part of me is freaking out. You kinda freak me out sometimes. This must be the part of me that feels out of control. Speaking of which...

» I Cant Help But Be So Into You, Too

Ariana singing Into You a cappella black-n-whiteGirly, you are just so amazingly amazing.

Which is why I cant help but be so into you, too.

I dont think that I could explain it ..

but, the fact that I would post a separate page,

titled something like the way that this one is titled ( The Thing that I Need ) ..

.. means that I trust you a lot.

I could certainly try (to explain it) .. but not right now.

» Intention is Important

This is very intimate. I can feel myself dealing with it. It's a lot to deal with.

I can see that intention is definitely a factor. Intention is important. Conscious intention is kinda like a thing in itself, no? Is that how you are doing this stuff?

» The Thing that Made Her the Best of the Best

The Film school girl, when I met her, she was doing massages .. a few a day, on her own schedule.

This is how our relationship began .. when she offered me massages in exchange for tutoring (in Statistics, a class she needed for her degree path. I kick ass in math.).

Lagunatics are into barter in a big way .. like they have their own local tree-hugging economy.

Sometimes she would come out of the water at the beach and say (while toweling off) "I've got a client coming in twenty minutes. You want me to bring you some La Sirena when I come back?" Sometimes she would bring a cold beer with her, too.

[ This is the same girl that said, "I never owned a pair of high heels before I met you." Actions always speak louder .. says the existentialist. She'd never seen anything the likes of me before. (Few have.) ]

She was very good at massage. Skilled, talented hands. Remarkably intuitive. I dont know if 'gifted' is the right word .. but it's certainly not far from the right word.

She would put your ass in this total altered state (of consciousness) .. a peaceful, ultra-relaxed state .. where your nearest problem was hundreds of miles away.

Sometimes I couldnt even talk afterwards .. wondering, "How does she do that?"

» Focused Conscious Intention

I would talk to her clients sometimes (even tho she didnt want me to) because they were all interesting people .. and some of them told me that they had been getting massages their whole lives ..

.. and that she was the best of the best .. which is why they made the drive (from Newport Beach down to Laguna Beach) to come to her.

And you know me, girly .. Mr. Curious Question-Asker, I asked her how she did it .. how she was the best of the best.

She said it was all about » intention. Focused conscious intention.

Food for thought, perhaps. No one could deny that she was highly-skilled and obviously talented at what she did. And she would certainly know the thing that made her so good.

She told me that the best massage therapists in the universe work at Esalen .. up in Big Sur .. in case you're ever in the area. (Dont tell 'em I sent you.)

I would be lying if I said that I didnt have some conscious intention for you .. from time to time.

Strong, powerful intentions. I'm sure you feel them. Very sure. Positive.

Who can listen to you sing here and not say, "This girl has a gifted singing voice." ? Show me the person.

Do you ever feel like you would die .. if you couldnt sing?

Is it necessary for you perform before a large audience .. in order to feel satisfied singing? Or would you be okay performing for a more intimate audience? Say, one person?

Update » I just posted this entry in its own own page. Who loves you, girly? (totally rhetorical)

You must admit that we make a good team. Peanut butter and jelly. But I think I got it bad for you. The peanut butter got it bad for the jelly. What am I gonna do?

Is it just me .. or, do things not feel much more intimate now?

Maybe it was just the way I was listening to you sing those songs .. but I feel very much into you right now.

This is kinda trippy (.. but very cool).

I would be lyin' if I said that it didnt feel like you » got the feeling and you're willing tonight.

That's a good trick, girly. You'll have to show me how you do that sometimes.

I like learning cool, new tricks from cool, new girls. (I like it a lot.)

How much of intimacy is a function of courage? (In your opinion.)

» When You Got It Bad for Somebody .. Do You Deny the Obvious?

Girly, I was noticing that the Addendum to the Addendum, from which this page here grew out of .. that page has grown large. It's over 80-KB already.

I really need to break it up into two or three pages. [ This is now done. ]

And my inner editor is saying, "What are you going title them? .. Addendum to the Addendum - Part 2, Addendum to the Addendum - Part 3? Hopefully you wont be confusing the Addendum Part 3 with the Addendum to the Addendum Part 3. Or with plain ol' Page Three."

This editor part of me is more machine like. He has zero interest in the romantic aspects of life. So he is kinda fucking with me here .. because he knows that I got it bad for you. And I concede that he does have a point. But he sees no value in such a thing. He's like, "Please dont lose your mind again."

This part of me is clearly uncomfortable with girls like you holding sway over me.

But, when you got it bad for somebody .. you got it bad. What are you gonna do? Deny the obvious?

This is why it is a 'rhetorical' thing .. when I write » "Who loves you, girly?".

Anybody can say, "I love you," but demonstrating this love .. is much trickier.

This is why I never actually say it .. even tho I know that girls love to hear it. My mind set here is » "If you need me to tell you .. then, I'm not doing my job."

When I break up pages, which requires a mental shift over to a different mind set, a more geeky mind set, a less romantic, less creative mind set .. it feels like I am admitting to myself .. that you so do it for me.

This must be the existentialist in me .. that simply looks at the things on display before him .. and lets those things speak whatever they happen to be speaking .. without trying to get those things to say something that they are not saying.

» The Courage of Self-Honesty

[ This requires self-honesty, which is far trickier than I had ever imagined. The Dog is the best I've ever seen at self-awareness and self-honesty. He says these jaw-dropping things out of the blue without batting an eye. I am like, "Dog, give me a sec to wrap my head around that, okay?" ]

So many pages, girly. This you cant deny .. try as you may .. try as you might. (There's only one person who I write more pages about.)

You cant hide love. Speaking of generating so many pages...

» World's First Secure Communications Quantum Entanglement Satellite

August 17, 2016 » Girly, there I was, earlier today .. sitting in a coffee shop .. very much minding my own business (you know) .. sipping on a coffee at Starbucks.

I did not know, at the time, that this was a grande that I was sipping. But when I got home and began to write this section, I wondered, "Was I sipping on a grande .. when I read that thing about yesterday's launch of the world's first satellite designed to use pairs of quantumly entangled photons?"

Because I had simply told the girl, "Medium coffee, double-cup, no sleeve." These non-standard sizes at Starbucks are confusing. (I am old school on the sizes » small, medium, and large.)

So I went to the Starbucks web site a few minutes ago and learned that I was indeed drinking a grande. (Probably just another coincidence.)

And I was there kinda early, so they still had one copy of the New York Times remaining, which I bought (for $2.50).

At the very top of page A5, I noticed an interesting article titled » China Launches Satellite in Bid to Lead Quantum Research. (The online version is titled a little differently.)

Seems that yesterday (8/16/2016) China launched the world's first satellite (from the Gobi Desert) designed to use pairs of quantumly entangled » photons (particles of light) .. in an effort to establish totally secure communications.

Rad note » this section about the satellite launched yesterday by China has been moved to its own page .. see here » China Launches World's First Satellite Designed to Establish Secure Communications Using Pairs of Quantumly Entangled Photons.

At the end of that page you'll find a link that will return you back here to this exact section.

The end. ■

You can return to the exact spot from where this entry originated .. see » here.

Analyze this page's HTML profile » here.

It doesnt really matter, but the exact publish date-n-time for this page is August 8, 2016 (8/8/16) at 9:15 PM PDT, some 3 days after I started writing this section on the Whitney Houston medley.

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on August 5, 2016 8:05 AM.

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China Launches World's First Satellite Designed to Establish Secure Communications Using Pairs of Quantumly Entangled Photons is the next entry in this blog.

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