[ This entry originated from another page. ]
» Telling Stories that We Feel Comfortable Telling
It's for a similar reason why Katie Holmes feels so comfortable telling stories about female relationships.
When you hear as many voices as I do .. you quickly get comfortable with dialogue. Very comfortable.
I like Katie Holmes. I like Jamie Foxx. I mean, who doesnt?
Hi Katie Holmes. I see you there. Jamie told me that you suck at keeping things on the down-low. What do you think of what he told me?
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••• today's entry continues here below •••
I am giving you shit about sucking at keeping things on the down-low .. and I give Ariana shit, too.
But you must actually be pretty good at keeping things on the down-low .. because I had never even heard that you two were an item until very recently.
Tho, admittedly, I am not much into celebrity things. I was actually searching for some other information when I stumbled across links to articles about you two.
I read this thing that said the reason Jamie didnt want to go public with the relationship was out of respect for Tom, who introduced him to the industry.
And that you were saying, "Screw Tom Cruise," so to speak. But Jamie couldnt bring himself do that (.. even for somebody like you).
This is honorable behavior .. from my perspective. Such a subject would definitely be a rabbit hole, so we wont go there.
I broke up with a girl once, who had a friend. A girlfriend. My ex made it clear to me that my dating her friend would definitely not be a cool thing to do.
I remember thinking about that. I never did hook up with her girlfriend, but I ran into her a lot, and I even stopped by her place once.
[ See .. I do not really understand things like this .. where a girl has problems with another girl dating a guy she used to date.
I mean, it did not work out for you, yet you had your time in the sun .. in the glow of the love-sun.
I can see there being a problem immediately following a break-up, as strong feelings may still linger.
But after a few months, you dont want to stand in the way of good things happening for people who might be able to help and be good for each other.
I have many stories along these lines. Such different stories all along the same thread. But I should not share these stories.
At the end of a relationship, after it becomes clear that it is not working for you .. I normally part way wishing good things on my ex-lover .. hoping that whatever time we spent together may prove a lasting blessing to them.
I mean, it should be a blessing .. if you genuinely tried to love them. And if not, then why were you even with them in the first place?
I never had a problem with any old girlfriends dating anyone. In fact, many of them married the very next guy that they dated. I was glad for them.
But note that Selena was at that restaurant to be seen. So she obviously wanted to be seen. That is the exact opposite of keeping things on the down-low. (I told you that girls suck at the down-low, didnt I?)
The Weeknd was with his old girlfriend for 18 months. That's a long time in the rockstar world.
So yeah, seeing another girl kissing your guy .. that's gotta hurt. I would imagine.
But do you feel thatit makes a difference if Abel's ex was the one who broke up with him? I do .. because this is the same as saying, "I no longer want you. I no longer want to be with you."
Such as thing is akin to releasing a player as a free agent .. because a team has rejected him and his skills.
If he ex has declared that she no longer wants him, and that she no longer wants to be with him .. then why would she care if another woman finds him attractive and wants to speand time with him.
It shouldnt matter. She should be wishing him the best with the rest of his life.
But, what about dating etiquette? What social norms should inform such things?
What if a girl really wants to be with a guy, but she pushes him away in order to see how much he really wants her?
Girls who do such things are insecure in their own value and sense of worth (.. as a child of God).
If a girl says that she doesnt want to be with me, then I dont want to be with her either .. because this means that she cannot see my value. ]
Tom Cruise is an outstanding actor. He can carry a whole fucking movie by himself .. if he has to. Say hi for me.
[ I am very much with Alec Baldwin here .. who says that anybody would need something to help them negotiate such powerful forces in their life.
My point is that we need to cut such celebrities some slack. How much slack? That depends. ]
At work, we would often quote lines from Top Gun, as ways to express things that we were feeling and experiencing on the job.
"I just want to be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, Sir." [ These are sort of like private jokes. You would probably have had to be there. And be a guy. Because the joke is based in the experience. The shared experience. ]
A girl once drove me to the house in Oceanside, just south of the pier there, where she said they filmed part of Top Gun. "That's it right there" she said, pointing.
(I'm not going to tell you where we went after that drive-by. But I felt certain I was the best fighter-pilot ever.)
» Sex with Director-Chicks
Being a director now .. this makes you something new .. that you werent before.
[ I grabbed this image of you here because of the happy sparkle in your eyes. I hope you dont mind. What do you think of my choice? I also like that you are going to appear in this cool film that has all my favorite girls. Did you see Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine? You could actually see her personality fracturing right before your very eyes. I was very impressed. "How does she do that?" I wondered. No wonder she won the Oscar that year. And I noticed that they flashed some footage of you standing in front of the Gravity poster .. footage from which I grabbed a shot of you and posted here. That was a very cool entry. If you are in that entry, then you must be a very cool girl. Notice my irresistible logic. You cannot resist my irresistible logic. (So dont even try.) Now that I know you are a Columbia girl, I can feel myself playing with you in the way that I play with smart girls. Now that I know you are a smart girl .. uh, I probably shouldnt finish that sentence. I knew that I had grabbed an image of you before .. in that pink dress. I hope you dont mind. My ego is certain that you've seen that page before. Why did this ET segment contain footage of you in front of that Gravity poster .. from so long ago? Why not footage from one of your more recent films? (No wonder Sandra Bullock hates you.) ]
A director? Director-chicks generally like me .. tho I am not sure why this is.
I like chicks who are directors. Would you like to know why? There are a number of reasons.
One of which is » they kick ass. Directors tend to be bona fide ass kickers.
» The Director-Chick and the Super-Fine Stripper
I probably shouldnt tell you this story .. but I once took a director-chick to a strip-club for her birthday. A classy strip-club.
And after the girls dance up on stage, you can pay extra to have a private dance where they rub their bodies on you.
There was one stripper in particular, who was a bona fide super-hottie. She was in a league of her own.
She danced for my friend .. for my director-friend. She rubbed her body on my director-friend. Her very fine body.
My director-friend was clearly enthralled. I mean, who wouldnt be? If you saw this girl, this stripper, then you would know what I mean.
This is all I should probably say right now .. but, when I set the heading title » Sex with Director-Chicks .. that made me think of this. (One thing leads to another .. you know.)
I am pretty secure in my sexuality .. and these types of things genuinely interest me .. for reasons that I am not even sure about. (Tho Amy Jo told me that it is normal to be curious about sexuality.)
Myself, I have never had one of these dances where they rub their bodies against you. I mean, the rules are that you cannot touch them with your hands.
And I would not be able to do that. Mother Nature kicks in and she kicks in hard sometimes. I would get in trouble. Seems like I'm always gettting in trouble.
» Crumpled like a Rag Doll at My Feet
Speaking of taking the director-chick a strip-club for her birthday .. when I got done with that girl that night .. with that director-chick ..
.. when I got done bending her over the Porsche's passenger-side door (.. with the targa-top off, of course, being a hot-n-steamy mid-summer night, and the window down) ..
.. she literally crumpled at my feet. Like a rag doll she crumpled. Just like a rag doll. I saw it myself. (I actually wasnt that surprised.)
Do you recall that song by Queen » Another One Bites the Dust? She may not literally have been biting the dust .. but, then again, it was difficult to be sure.
With a low car door, you know, such as the one that comes with on a 911 .. you can position your feet in such a way as to pin her legs against the door.
» Too Much Spicy Pepperoni for the Director-Chick
This was my way of saying, "Happy birthday, director-chick." I gave her a little of my own, "Lights! Camera! Action!" (Mostly just the action part.)
You naturally want this to be a birthday that she won't soon forget. So, what is a starving writer to do?
She was laying there on the ground, motionless. I might've killed her .. for all I knew. Because she was laying there (lying there?) for quite a while.
But she eventually started to move. So I knew she wasnt dead. It took a long time for her to get up. And no, she wasnt complaining.
To be honest, she couldnt even talk very well. She had a dazed and confused look on her face. I put plenty of spicy pepperoni on her pizza. (Obviously too much for her to handle.)
I dont know what came over me .. but I was definitely feeling predatory that night. It's not usually a good thing for girls when I am feeling predatory. She should not have provoked me like that.
» I Helped Her Clean the Pebbles Out of Her Hair
She was bending over the car door, reaching inside for her purse on the floor, saying, "I cant quite reach my purse. It's way down there."
She was a nature girl. So she liked being outdoors, close to nature. (This is the girl who said, "I never owned a pair of high heels before I met you." )
I ripped her panties right off. I like ripping panties off.
» Panties are Not Cheap
Some panties are made more strongly than others .. I have found.
Some girls I have lifted up off the bed .. ripping their panties off of them.
"What are these these panties made of? Titanium?"
"Dude, these panties are not cheap, you know," she complained. (Only, she didnt say "Dude." )
I gave her some money.
I was grabbing hold of the top edge of the windshield with one hand and the inside edge of the targa top mounting arch with the other .. for leverage. To use against her. Aggressively.
I am kind of a jiu jitsu lover. I take advantage of them by working them while they are in certain holds.
I am thinking of one such hold right now .. but I am not going to tell you all my secrets.
» There were Some Twigs Too
I think that I might've pulled out some of her hair, too .. tho I didnt mean to do that. Not very much .. just a small clump. You could hardly tell. "It'll grow back," I thought.
» Athletic Types Hold Up Better
Because "they tend to hold up better." ?
This is sort of what I meant.
There is an element of truth behind my absurdist humor.
I went back and found the place where I wrote that.
Sometimes I crack myself up.
I put that statement under a sub-heading titled » The Manifold Hazards Associated with Dating a Writer.
See, girly .. I was trying to warn you .. but, without scaring you off.
Have you ever needed to clean pebbles out of your hair before?
This girl came thru, tho. I started taking her ass to the gym with me. She had a nice set of baby pythons going on after several months of working with iron weights.
She used to come over and watch me do the leg extensions and say, "That turns me on something ferocious."
When she was lying there motionless on the ground at my feet .. I didnt say to her, "If you're going to hang with me, then you're going to need to up your game and get in much better shape."
But I could have.
This is what I was thinking while I helped her clean the pebbles out of her hair.
I dont get it. Do you get it, girly? How 'bout you, Katie? ]
I should not have told you that story, Katie. I'm not proud of it. But it's all true. She'd never met anything the likes of me before. (Ariana knows the feeling.)
» Right-Brain Creative vs Left-Brain Organizational
The key function, or, at least, one of the key functions of a director .. seems to be eliciting and evoking and sculpting the desired performance from your actors, no?
What percentage of directing is right-brain creative story-crafting .. and what percentage is a function of left-brain linear organizational skills?
These two things, creative and organizational, seem, to me, antagonistic mind sets. Your thoughts?
» Rapping to Uta
When you would hear them say, "We're going to rap to Uta .. we'll be right back," .. you knew that they were going to get high.
They would come back and say, "Alright .. let's make a movie."
» What Makes a Good Director Good?
I mean, how do you know that this good acting was not merely the result of a good actor? (As opposed to a good director.)
The people who vote for Best Director .. they do not see footage of the director directing his or her actors. No.
They simply see the film, the same edited film that everybody else sees .. that was probably shot by a talented cinematographer.
Perhaps it's just a blind spot for me .. but what are you looking at to determine a good director vs one who is not so good?
How do you not simply assign any differences to the actors and actresses?
It's an hour drive from USC to Laguna Beach .. so we had plenty of time to discuss minutia in great detail.
» My Gay Roommate Talking to My Mom in Hushed Tones at the Kitchen Table
I was in the next room with bro and dad and some friends, working on this gnarly thousand-piece puzzle on the dining room table. When I glanced into the kitchen and saw them huddled together at the table there.
And I remember wondering what they might be talking about. I'm sure that I must have had an interesting look on my face.
Note that this section on my gay roomate has been moved to its own page .. see here » My Gay Roommate Talking to My Mom in Hushed Tones at the Kitchen Table.
» In the End We Only Really have Our Stories
I dont even recall the context of that quote, but I remember how it struck me as a thought-provoking concept. Seeing that I am very much about telling stories myself.
» Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time .. in a land far-far away .. there was a writer and a singer. A very handsome writer (.. with nice hands, of course) .. and a beautiful, enchanting singer.
One day, the writer saw the singer singing and he said, "Oh, this is exactly what I have been looking for all my life."
» So Sparkly that She Made Me Dizzy
[ Girly, I noticed that, here in Chicago, on Dec 14, 2016, you are wearing a little, sparkly ornament, which is hanging from your choker .. right there in the very front.
You look so fucking delicious here that I can hardly stand it. I'm not even going to mention your singing. That would be too dangerous. Much too dangerous.
Is it just me .. or do you not, here in Chicago, really blast many of the last words .. such as 'moment' and 'open'? ]
Probably because he wasnt eating enough .. because he had so little money for food .. because the evil maharajah, who was a powerful man, had stolen all his money and thrown him into prison, and locked him away.
The starving writer found himself at a severe disadvantage .. because the sparkly singer could have any guy she wanted. Heck, she could have any five guys that she wanted.
But this was little more than an inconvenience for the resourceful writer.
He said, "I know what I will do. I will write a special kind of story .. a story unlike any other that has ever been written before .. since the beginning of time immemorial. She will not be able to resist my special story that I will write for her."
So naturally, the writer was thinking, "What shall I name my story? What shall I call it? What title should I give it?
(To be continued, of course.)
» Tell Me a Story, Dad
My son would always say, "Tell me a story, dad." (.. when he was small).
He would tell me which characters he wanted in his story that day,
"Okay, dad .. today I want Pooh in my story .. and I want Piglet, too."
And, no matter what, he always wanted Tigger in his story.
Because Tigger was always getting into crazy shit. You know how Tigger is.
But, when I was on .. when I was having a good day telling stories .. I was good. Very good. I surprised even myself some days.
Once you get into that creative flow .. then you just ride along with it. Go where it takes you. Good coffee helps.
Most of the stories that I told him came while we were sitting at the coffee shop early in the morning.
» Impressing Super-Hotties with My Story-Telling and Writing Skills
I try to impress her so much that I impress myself.
I mean, with her help, I might be the greatest writer who ever lived.
With her inspiration .. with her encouragement.
At least, that's what everybody keeps telling me.
When the age has finally come to an end, and the books are closed,
and the greatest writers of all time are assembled .. we will be there.
We will be representing for the twenty-first century.
We are a good team .. as you can see.
You can help cheer us on, Katie.
I think that I got it bad for her.
I can most easily be myself with a singer .. I have found.
» Curving the Writing Bullet Around Ariana's Ear
Speaking of director-chicks and impressing super-hotties .. there is a scene in one of Angelina Jolie's movies ..
.. where she tells this kid to "curve the bullet," .. around an obstacle (herself) and hit something behind her.
The kid is big pussy and doesnt want to do it, but he finally does and he learns something about himself in the process.
It's a cool shot. A sec after the bullet shoots by, the breeze from it kicks up a lock of her hair.
This "curving the bullet" speaks to me .. because I can feel myself b.e.n.d.i.n.g the language .. in order to impress Ariana with my writing skills.
"Watch this, girly," I can hear myself saying to her. "This is some shit that I know you have never seen before."
And then I will send whizzing past her ear another writing-bullet, so to speak, or a writing-arrow, of another image in the story that I am writing. Another page. Another chapter. Here it comes .. dont move.
She can hear it as it sails by. She can feel my fingers brush lightly across her neck as another installment whooshes by.
I can almost hear her saying, "How is he doing that?"
You cant let these young girls get away with this shit. You must respond, and show them that you are not a big pussy.
She probably wishes that I would have touched her a little more strongly. And caressed her throat a little longer .. as each new chapter whizzes by.
I want her wanting me. I want her wanting me to touch her more strongly. I want her craving that next touch. Two can play the teasing game.
Angelina Jolie is a director-chick .. which is why I put this little story here .. with you director-chicks.
» Real-time Storytelling Skills Developed with My Son
I dont know how much of a part those spur-of-the-moment story-telling skills that I developed with my son come into play with this story that I am writing about/with/for Ariana.
Because I can feel them working.
Those skills that I developed with my son.
Those story-telling skills.
You have some story-telling skills yourself, Katie Holmes .. being an actress and a director and whatnot.
I am actually considering lifting out this section here where I write to Katie Holmes and transferring it to its own page titled » Sex with Director-Chicks.
[ This is now done .. as of Dec 18, 2016. Happy birthday Katie Holmes.
I thought this clever to post on your birthday, given the story about the director-chick's birthday.
38 is a rocking age. You have most of the big stuff figured out by 38. So you can get right down to business.
This page is dated the 18th, because that's your birthday. But I actually posted it on the 19th.
When I lift out text to transplant in another page .. I have a little room to work with regarding the date.
I obviously had to post sometime after Thanksgiving, because that was the date of the source page.
And I remember wanting to lift out this section of text for some time, because it was so different from the source page.
But I could never get clear on the lift. Until today, and even that took a degree of resolve.
Lifting out text and transferring to another page is not a creative endeavor. It is a shift out of creativity and into techie mindset.
Anyway, that's when I checked your Wikipedia page and saw that yesterday was your birthday.
And I thought, "You gotta be shittin' me. Happy birthday Katie Holmes. Do I ever have a present for you."
I did not know that it was your birthday .. when I was writing about taking the director-chick to the strip-club.
Have you ever been to a strip-club? ]
Tho I would never write something just to have a certain cool title. The title always comes after the writing. The writing supplies the title, never the other way around.
This should be obvious, hopefully.
The end. ■
» An Ivy League Girl
Oh, I see that you are a Columbia girl. Good thing that I did not learn that you were a Columbia girl until I finished this entry.
Otherwise, I would be trying to impress you. Guys say and do stupid shit, sometimes .. when they are trying to impress a super-hottie. (You know.)
Tho, I have since gone back and added references to this. So it looks like I did know.
» Sex with Professor-Chicks
The Dog slept with his Writing prof at Columbia. I know that I shouldnt be surprised .. but I was.
» The Cover of the April 2017 Issue of Town & Country
I checked in at the desk there and took a seat in the waiting room and began to fill out the paperwork that they gave me .. when I noticed a striking set of eyes staring at me from the cover of a magazine sitting on the table right in front of me.
I did not recognize you right away .. but I put down my clipboard and picked up the magazine when I saw your name on the cover.
They have some very nice shots of you in there. I'm sure that you were pleased with the way the article came out.
Colleen came and got me before I had much of a chance to really dig into the article .. but I took particular note of where it said:
Despite her success in front of the camera, it may not be long before she gives up acting for good. "For now I like acting and directing," she says, flashing a smile. "Eventually I'll just direct."
"I bet," I said, when I read that. (Let me know if you need help cleaning pebbles out of your hair.)
I also took note of where Soderbergh said »
There's a weight to her, and it's not forced. There's just something going on behind her eyes that makes her compelling. She's always looking for a way to evolve and be better than she was yesterday.
I would have to agree with him there. (I like that Soderbergh guy. He's the real deal.)
There is indeed an unforced ease about you .. about who you are. As a person, you are not trying to be something that you are not. I can see that, sure. Who is like Katie Holmes?
Evolving and being better than you were yesterday .. this is much more difficult than it sounds. So I felt my respect for you climb when I read that.
Mostly tho, it was this quote that stuck with me after I set down the magazine:
I've become more confident and gotten more interested in storytelling as a whole. Also, I've been feeling inspired to put my point of view out there. It's scary, but the process of it is something I really love.
I also took note of where the article said » Katie thinks visually. I have a little story along these lines that I may return later to share with you.
This page is actually too big for a single page. I should break it up into two or three pages .. or off-load sections to their own page.
» Owie when Swallowing a Twizzler
.. when I swallowed and felt something in my throat hurt pretty badly. Like something jabbed me in my throat .. from the inside.
I'm not sure if a piece of Twizzler got caught in there when I swallowed, but my throat was definitely hurting.
Perhaps I turned my head when I swallowed. I have some radiation scarring in there, so anything to do with my throat, such as talking and swallowing, is not as simple as it is for most people.
The owie bothered me quite a bit for the first few days, but even now I can still feel it and something isnt right when I swallow.
I have not eaten any more Twizzlers since that episode. My driver today said, "Those are the worst things for you." .. when I told him what had happened.
After cancer, shit like this fucks with your head .. talking to you .. telling you things that you dont want to hear.
Plus, I have been sweating at night the past week. The last time I was sweating at night was when I had cancer.
Last month, I came down with that nasty crud that had been going around. (Everybody in the house had it.) I was feeling very crappy for two days, and it took a week for my lungs and sinuses to clear up.
So maybe the sweating is a residual effect from that crud .. since things seem to move more slowly now. But I was not sweating during the crud, or even during the period immediately afterward.
Anyway, the sense of anxiety was enough that I stopped drinking coffee the last few days .. whch I havent done for a long time. (I didnt even want coffee.)
I am feeling very lightheaded today. I am hoping this is merely a result of no coffee for two days.
» In Good Hands
My oncologist was so cool. He ran the scope down my left sinus and looked all around down there.
He saw some stuff, but nothing that would indicate cancer. He said that the chances of a recurrence of the particular type of cancer that I was diagnosed with would be rare.
Nevertheless he sent me the lab for some blood-work and put in an order for a CT scan of my neck and chest.
This is why I love this fucking guy. (Just one of the reasons. He has a couple of boys about your daughter's age.)
He was standing behind me, to my left, and his fingers were feeling around on my throat. You can feel the practiced skill in his hands. You can tell that he knows what he's doing and it brings a sense of comfort to know that you are literally in good hands.
His student-helper told me that, just-today, my radiation oncologist published a paper on that clinical trial that I was involved in.
Tho this trial was not about HPV .. but rather about a genetically engineered smallpox virus. Immunotherapy is the future of oncology.
The end, again. ■
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