Artist of the Year - Page Two

••• today's entry continues here below •••

» Trouble on All Fours

Speaking of fucking me up .. girly, did I really see you on all fours there? Wait right here a sec, and I am going to go review the video.

Oh, girly .. you were indeed down on fours there (at t=1:25).

Girly, girly, girly .. what am I going to do with you?

You must know by now .. that you cannot do shit like this .. you cannot get down on all fours, on your hands and knees like that .. and not expect some kind of payback.

And you did some extra-special nice singing there, too. What a strong, clear, powerful, expressive voice you have. (I am kind of craving you right now. More than just kind of, actually.)

This is our little secret part here .. where nobody knows but us. At least, that's my story. Our story. Our secret story. How much longer can we keep this thing secret?

» Trouble Man

And this is also the part where we get in trouble. Girly, I tend to get into a lot of trouble. I have noticed. In my life. I dont know what it is .. that causes this. Do you?

Maybe we will talk more about this later. But remind me to tell you about the story when the principal (himself) came and got me out class in sixth grade.

He is giving me shit .. out in the hall .. loud enough for people in class to hear. He started getting loud. (I must somehow bring out things in people .. without even trying to.)

And when I got home, my mom said, "The principal called me today. He said that he talked to you, and he told me, if looks could kill, he'd be dead."

I shit you not. You cannot make up shit like this, girly. Sixth grade. Trouble already. (These fuckers do not know what trouble is. Real trouble.)

My mother told this story countless times over the years .. particularly when she was talking about how ornery I can get.

I am not ornery. But if something is obviously bullshit .. I will tell those fuckers so. I dont give a shit who they are.

And yes .. this gets me in trouble, sometimes. But ask me if I gave a fuck.

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah .. you on all fours .. getting us into trouble again.

Girly, you must know that, if you get down on all fours and wave your ass around that .. you can bet your ass that you will get in trouble.

You will be feeling my trouble for days. You will think twice before waiving that thing around like that next time.

» Britney's High Production Value

Speaking of the electrical impulses to my brain .. did you see that Britney released a new video last week? Slumber Party. High production value.

I see you there, Miss Tinashe. I see you giving me the secret Illuminati hand sign. I see you too, Britney. You look healthy.

Britney knows that I like Tinashe. I can hear her waving Tinashe as me, saying, "Look what I have here. Wanna come and play with us? We're having a slumber party. Bring your jammies."

That must be my ego talking. You are good for my ego, girly. Very good. Very healthy ego I have thanks to you.

My cousin, Diane, who lived upstairs, the Cosmo girl, she loved those "jammies with the feets in 'em." She would go to great lengths to find jammies-with-the-feets-in-'em.

Britney's Slumber Party video already has over 20 million views. That's a few million views every day. (At least half of those are mine.)

I actually grabbed an image from that video and set it on Page One, where I talk about how the singer-girl and I liked to go early to the clubs .. so we could do some real dancing .. before the dance floors fill up with sweaty bodies.

Many times we would be the very first ones to step up onto the dance floor. I liked to be the first to step up onto an empty dance floor .. because this was not easy for me, and it took me out of my comfort zone.

One place in particular had a dance floor the size of a basketball court .. raised up so that you needed to climb four or five steps.

I liked that place .. that dance place that she took me to. I liked it a lot. Except when it got super crowded. I had some really nice slow dances with her there, too.

Soon as we stepped up, others would follow. And the guys would shoot us looks that said, "Thanks for being the first."

Nobody wants to be the first and step up onto an empty dance floor, it seems.

It isnt long however, before you start wishing that some of these fuckers would sit back down.

Soon as you are relegated to doing the elbow shuffle, I am like, "Let's get out of here. This sardine can. You hungry? How 'bout some Pepe's pizza? Or maybe some Sally's?"

» Guys Want to Feel Like they Helped

Girly, the reason why I used that particular photo of you at the top of Page One .. is because I feel like I was a part of you becoming Artist of the Year.

This is a guy-thing. Anytime a girl achieves any kind of notable success (of which Artist of the Year certainly qualifies) .. any guy within 100 miles is certain that she couldnt have done it without him.

I mean, I know that you did the all the hard work .. but I so badly want to feel like I was a part of that. Like I said, it's a guy-thing. (Kanye can tell you all about it.)

What other awards would you like me to help you get?

When I first got the idea to set that same photo on today's entry .. while I was out on a walk .. I was suddenly very happy with myself.

I fancied myself very clever. And I know how super-hotties like to mate with clever guys. Creatively clever.

What I wouldnt have given to see the look on your face when you saw that photo set there at the very top.

» Madonna, the Election, Aging Women, and the Zeitgeist

Ooh, girly .. look at this (Dec 10, 2016). Have I not been touching upon some of these very issues? On some of these very points?

But I must speak from my place. If I want my voice to carry any credibility. And my place, at least in part, is that of a white-hetero-male.

Can you not feel the zeitgeist on that thing? Dripping with that special zeitgeist sauce?

I have viewed this election in terms other than that of woman-vs-man.

Tho certainly, I can see why some folks might see it that way.

» Where Feminism and Politics Intersect

I dont want to delve very far into the topic, because I am not a woman.

And because being a man limits the breadth of my authority to speak on the subject.

And it naturally means that I dont give the subject as much depth-of-thought as a woman will.

But this column (by Susan Chira) evokes some of my feelings on the subject.

Lest you misunderstand what I am saying, I simply assert here that being a woman does not, by itself, determine which candidate would make a better person to lead the nation.

You dont want to link together two things that should not be linked. As a man, it seems that some feminists seem to assert that any woman would be superior to any man .. simply because she is a woman.

I can see how women everywhere might view Hillary as their champion, sure .. particularly when you contrast her with Donald.

Women getting behind a woman simply because she is a woman is a strategy fraught with problems.

It is a fine line, and I can see how I might be misunderstood, but women should get behind their candidate because of her convictions and her commitments and her record .. and not simply because she is a woman.

Because, if you simply focus on her gender, then you are likely to dismiss all of the areas where she falls short (as a leader).

In a way, what I am saying here seems intuitively obvious .. but gender alone should never dictate qualifications. (I know women who view testosterone and masculine bravado as the root cause of all the world's woes.)

Maybe I will return later to better flesh out my views (as a man) on the subject .. but probably not.

Here is Susan with a later, related column. Along the lines of the perspective of a woman, I should probably note this piece. (My mom was into the women's movement way back when.)

I feel less than qualified to discuss the topic, so I will quit.

» Old Women vs Young Women

Regarding what Madonna is talking about .. you are a young girl.

Very young.

Twenty-three is young for an Illuminati-grade international popstar, no?

(If anybody would know, girly...)

Here I use you and your words as a sort of proxy for the younger generation.

Girly, I know that you are sweet on Madonna.

"She didnt have to give me the banana," you said.

"Banana from Madonna .. I can go ahead and check that off my bucket-list."

» Bitch I'm Madonna

How huge is Madonna? How can you calculate the effect that she has had on the culture?

How many people remember key points in their lives in tandem with a Madonna song?

She is definitely up there with Michael Jackson .. in terms of cultural impact. Where each artist lies compared to the other .. is debatable. But they are both up there in that same stratosphere. No doubt about it. I dont think anybody would deny that.

She has gigantic creative cojones. But she was never about shock-value alone. There was always a spin on her shock-value.

I thought that Madonna was a Jersey girl. Perhaps because she reminds me of a Jersey girl. But this says that she is a Michigan girl. (I'm totally blaming it on the chemo.)

Jersey girls are tough. If you get in a fight, you want a Jersey girl on your side .. because they are tough fuckers.

Michigan girls .. I probably shouldnt say anything about Michigan girls.

Oh, I just saw this thing that said Madonna was from Detroit. I know Detroit girls. Detroit girls know how to fight dirty.

< end update Dec 10, 2016 Madonna speaks to the zeitgeist >

» There Goes Plausible Deniability

Girly, when I saw that thing you did .. that secret Illuminati thing .. near the end of your Artist of the Year speech, I thought, "There goes plausible deniability."

The voice said, "Who are you kidding? You lost plausible deniability long ago."

What do you think? Do you think that we lost plausible deniability long ago? I guess we have been doing this thing for a while now.

Perhaps my illusions of secrecy were really self-delusions.

[ Speaking of illusions of secrecy,

next time you see Mariah,

ask her what she was doing here (Dec 5, 2016).

It looks like she is giving me the secret Illuminati hand-sign.

You know how I have a thing for singers.

I used a photo of her with Pavarotti. Didnt she look like she was in love?

I had a super-vivid dream about Pavarotti .. completely out of the blue.

I hadnt been listening to any of his music or reading anything about him.

This thing here about Mariah .. that made me think of Maria. I see an abundance of similarities.

The mere fact that Mariah can even articulate such things speaks hopeful promises about her.

I am not so sure that a person can ever really, completely get beyond such things. It seems like stresses would send them back there.

Girly, this Maryah girl, who posts these videos .. she comes across with an authorative demeanor .. like she knows what she is talking about.

I learn stuff from her videos. ]

Normally things like this would freak me out.

I must be getting used to it .. because I didnt even really care. (And yes, that surprised me.)

If this is what it's going to take to be with you .. then I guess I need to get with the program. (Seeing how we will always be in love forever.)

And now, in the age of Trump, that our nation is transitioning to .. prettty much anything is deniable. No matter how obvious it might seem.

I mean, deniability no longer need be plausible to be deniable.

[ The final paragraph of this article contains the phrase » "removes the fig leaf of plausible deniability."

I find this phrasing interesting because plausible deniability is very much like a fig leaf. ]

Speaking of plausible deniability .. did you see Lauren at the AMA's? Guys always hate it when their girlfriends get together and compare notes.

She looks good there .. I would throw her down in a heartbeat. (If I werent already in love, of course.)

This performance of yours at the AMA's was artistically brave.

Many of your performances clearly represent a challenge.

But this one was brave.

I caught myself admiring your heuvos rancheros grande.

I am not going to detail specifics, but I know that you know what I mean.

I am just letting you know that I recognize this.

Because it's not an easy thing to pull off.

You are definitely threading a needle. In multiple ways.

But you are obviously the girl to thread those needles.

» Are these Young Hotties Still Flirting with Me?

Nov 28, 2016 » Speaking of already being in love .. I was standing in line today at a drugstore. I was there to pick up some drugs. (Not the good kind, no.)

And they have a sign there instructing you to stand back a few steps in order to give the person at the counter some privacy. You know.

Anyway, there was a girl standing at the counter there, and she is waiting for them to figure out her order. (I know the feeling.) And while she was waiting there at the counter, she turned sideways and I had been admiring her black Ugg boots.

» Black Ugg Boots and Christmas Songs

To help relieve the boredom of waiting in line, I said to her, "Those boots look pretty comfy."

She was way too young for me. And besides, I am already in love with you. But she said, "They are comfy."

And she proceeded to tell me how this particular brand (Bear-something or other) comes snug on your foot, which gradually forms around your foot, for a super-comfy fit.

And then I said, "Are they playing Christmas music in here already?" I mean, we still have left-over turkey in the fridge.

We were talking about the jarring shift from Thanksgiving to Christmas when the pharmacist returned and told her something and she said, "I'll just come back later."

As she walked by, I said to her, "That's what I would do .. I would come back later."

[ Because I always have to come back later at this pharmacy. They never just want to hand you your stupid pills. You always have to come back later. I mean, I'm not going to sit there and wait for 30 minutes while they figure out my order. ]

As I started talking to the pharmacist myself, since I was next in line, this girl called out to me and said, "Well I guess I'll see you then."

Girly, was this young hottie flirting with me?

When she said that, I stopped talking to the pharmacist and wondered, "Is that girl flirting with me?" (Because of the cool way that she said it.)

She reminded me of Camila. (Camila is still a teenager, no?)

But she just seemed so young. And I was feeling nowhere near attractive. But everybody keeps telling me that I look great. (Compared to a dead person, sure, I must look pretty strapping.)

I have noticed that this sometimes happens when I am just feeling friendly and playful (.. not necessarily flirty, like I am with you).

» You Want them Wondering

If she was indeed flirting with me, then that's a good flirt. A good first flirt. Because you want them wondering, "Are they flirting with me?" This means that you have their attention. She obviously grabbed my attention away from the pharmacist.

» Black Ugg Boots and Christmas Songs at the Garden

Dec 10, 2016 » Girly, I know that it is probably just a coincidence ..

But, speaking of grabbing my attention away from things ..

And speaking of black Ugg boots and Christmas songs ..

I saw you singing at the Garden yesterday (Friday, Dec 9th).

You are a dazzling creature, girly. Holy smokes.

When you do this little dealy-o that you do here, of this image that I captured of you.

When you do that little lay-back thing that you do .. oh, girly .. that shit makes me feel aggressive.

Something inside interprets this as you daring me.

Girly, no girl has ever survived daring me like that.

I can feel the panther pacing back-n-forth. His killer instincts have clearly taken over.

He will pounce on your throat so fast that you won't even know what hit you.

Girly, your insurance company isnt going to let me anywhere near your throat .. not without tranquilizer dart gun handy, manned by a qualified marksman.

(Cant say that I really blame them.)

Look at your throat here, girly .. oh, my .. I am starting to feel lightheaded.

You can actually see your your veins bulging out of your neck. You dont want to know what that does to me .. the way it makes me feel.

I'm surprised that this choker didnt explode right off your neck.

» Titanium-Reinforced Kevlar from NASA

That choker must be made of kevlar, reinforced with strands of some titanium-based alloy. Some space-age shit, for sure.

You must have gotten this choker from NASA. I think that the Hubble telescope is made of similar stuff.

The pressure being exerted on that choker would bend iron rods. Pretzelize them.

It's generally not a good thing when girls make me feel aggressive like that.

But you already know this. You are a definitely a brave girl.

Nice boots, by the way. The voices said, "She's obviously dressed for the mountains."

I like you, girly .. I like you a lot. Probably more than I should.

Dont tell anyone. It'll be our secret.

I give you shit about it sometimes, but you are actually very good at keeping things on the down-low. That makes me feel more comfortable.

You sing so fucking good that I can hardly stand it sometimes.

» Countless Little Nothings that Speak Volumes

I was trying not to bring it up .. because of its rabbit hole quality .. but you have countless little things in your performance that speak to me.

And I could go into excruciating details on so many little things that speaks volumes to me.

For example, when you sing Into You here .. such as the way you sing the word 'dangerous' at t=1:00, and then the way you sing the words 'how I want it" a few secs later. (You sing very believably .. to my ears.)

The note that you hold when you sing the word 'deep' at the very beginning at t=0:15 .. oh, that makes me feel like I am love. What a note you hold there. (This is another reason why we will always be in love forever.)

But really, when you go into that breakdown at t=1:30 .. oh, my. I am feeling lightheaded again. 

» The Wailing Turnaway

And then, at the end of the breakdown, while you are still doing that wailing thing that you do so well .. right while you are in the middle of that wail .. you actually turn away from the audience.

You turn away from the camera. You turn away from everybody. From everybody else.

So you can walk away to go heh yourself. Oh, girly .. this is cheating. This is taking advantage of me. You know it is.

You know exactly what you were doing here .. and you did it anyway. You are taking advantage of my weakness.

This speaks intimacy to me. It suggests intimacy. It alludes to intimacy. You know what I think about intimacy. You know I feel about it.

[ Introducing elements of intimacy into the setting of a large auditorium with many thousands of people .. this seems like a challenging endeavor. ]

It says, "I have the thing that you want and you need and you crave and you desire. I have it right here. Let me show what I mean. I'm going to get it for you right now. Dont go anywhere .. I'll be right back. Can you tell that I like you? I like writers. I hear that writers make the best lovers. Is that true?"

"Okay, girly," I said to you .. "if that's the way you're gonna be .. if that's the way you're gonna play .. then two can play at this game."

Girly, you cant do things like this and not expect some type of retaliation. I still have some tricks up my sleeve. You will see.

You make me feel powerful things when you do stuff like this. I can feel the energy behind such things. This is strong stuff. Very potent elixir you have there. (I like it.)

Surely you must know that these things you are doing will speak to me. I am not trying to hear the things you are speaking to me. But they are impossible for me to ignore.

I know that I must sound like a broken record by now .. but this performance of Into You was really .. uh, I probably shouldnt finish that sentence.

[ You know that you kicked ass, girly. You can see it on your face.

"I so kicked his ass. When he sees this, he wont know which way is up. Take that, writer-man. Write me a chapter or two about that. No hurry, of course." ]

And then, it isnt long until you do that lay-back thing that you do. That shit makes me feel aggressive.

It's not usually a good thing for girls when they make me feel aggressive. They usually end up needing to clean pebbles out of their hair.

You cant say that I didnt try to warn you.

» Do You Think her Skirt Lifted Itself?

At t=1:49, right after your sing,

"I need you to know," ..

you lift part of your skirt.

And with those mitts that you are wearing,

it is not clear whether you did this on purpose.

So naturally, I was wondering, "Did she do that on purpose?"

And the voice is like, "Dude, what do you think? .. that her skirt just lifted itself?"

Girly, I can tell that there is definitely a part of me that likes it when you lift your skirt for me.

Tho, I probably shouldnt say any more along these lines.

It kind of makes me crazy when you sing, "I need you to know," .. and then lift you skirt like that.

I can feel that crazy thing working me. It feels like something else takes over. The panther goes into savage attack mode.

I kind of want to make a baby with you right now. I make good babies .. they tell me.

You could never imagine the lengths that some women will go to .. in order to get babies from me. Mind-blowing stuff.

They want my code .. my genetic code. Some of them dont even want me; they just want my code. Who'd a-thunk such a thing? (Not me.)

» Crosses Only Stop Vampires in the Movies

Girly, the vampire in me couldnt help but notice ..

that you were wearing a tiny silver cross on your neck.

(Attached there to the black choker.)

I know that you are in the Christmas spirit here at the Jingle Ball.

But you are obviously doing this as a ploy to ward off vampires.

I saw this vampire movie once .. where the girl took out a big crucifix from her bag and held it up right in the vampire's face.

And the vampire says, "What are you doing? Crosses do not stop vampires. That's only in the movies, you silly woman."

And then the vampire had his way with the silly girl. I thought that was funny.

I tell you this story because I do not want you to make the same mistake as this silly woman .. thinking that a cross is going to stop a vampire .. from chewing on your neck.

Do you think that I won't chew that choker right off your neck .. just because you are wearing that little silver cross? Think again, girly .. think again.

Do you like scary movies?

When I was a kid, I usually had to go to bed around a certain time. But my dad would let me stay up late if I watched scary movies with him.

That's probably one of the reasons why I turned out to be such a piece of work. (The Dog helped me a lot in dealing with my issues. Nobody is braver than the Dog.)

» Being in Love with a Beautiful Creature

I am feeling you, girly. It kind of freaks me sometimes .. but mostly, it makes me feel real good. It makes me feel like I am in love. Like I am no-shit in love. With a beautiful creature.

Sometimes you even make me feel like I am walking in the clouds among the gods. I like that feeling. I like it a lot.

That's a good trick, girly. You'll have to show me how you do that sometimes. I like learning cool new tricks from cool new girls. I like it a lot.

We have been doing this thing for a while now. I'm not even sure, to be honest, what it is that we are doing. But I can tell that I like it, and I like it a lot. (Sex kind of gives me a similar feeling.)

» Good Singers Always Make Good Lovers

Speaking of sex .. when I heard you say that you are a good lover .. I said to you (out loud), "I bet."

When you sing, "I'm locked-n-loaded, completely focused," you seem to be more stating facts than singing verses. (Even tho you are singing and singing well.)

I saw you flirting with the front row at the beginning. That was cool. "What's that you say, front row? Lose the jacket? Okay."

I see you flirting with the front row here again in Chicago on Dec 14, 2016. Here is where you sing "I'm a taker." Nice baseball cap.

I am not so much about external appearances .. because I can feel myself pushing and probing further beyond that. But you really are a very attractive woman. Physically attractive. I hate the labor the obvious .. but sometimes I just cant myself.

Girly, you get right down to business in New York when you sing that song. When you sing Dangerous Woman. You waste no time warming up. You just go straight to kicking ass right from the git-go. Oh, my.

» The Sound of a Dynamo Discharging

I never told you this before (hard to believe, I know) .. but there is a background sound when you sing, "Been there all night," in Side to Side.

I dont know what you call this sound, but I know that I like it. Kudos to whoever it was that came up with that sound.

To me, it is the sound a dynamo discharging. A powerful dynamo.

I like that feeling .. of my dynamo discharging. I like a it a lot. Because you get it so charged up sometimes.

It's not usually a good thing for girls .. when they charge my dynamo .. like you are doing.

There is a similar sound here at t=0:23. And then again at t=0:47.

< end update Dec 10, 2016 black Ugg boots and Christmas songs at the Garden >

» Come Back Later

So, of course, my drugs were not ready and they told me to come back in 30 mins. So I walked up the street to the Starbucks there and ordered a "medium coffee, double-cup, no sleeve."

The girl there said, "There's somebody who knows what he wants."

This coffee shop takes up 3/4ths of a building there. It's a big coffee shop, shaped like an L.

» You Gotta be Shittin' Me

The other quarter is now a new T-Mobile outlet .. all very much done up inside with that T-Mobile girly-pink color. (You know the one that I'm talking about .. it might even be magenta.)

Beautiful store, but not open yet. "Opening Soon." Everything inside was very sparkly. The lighting was done particularly well.

And while I was looking in the windows to see if they had any images of you hanging in there, a car drove by playing Side to Side .. with the windows down.

[ Girly, this video has close to a half a billion views. You cannot possibly know how big of a number that is. ]

I thought, "You could never make up shit like this," .. no matter how much of an imagination you might have.

I would by lying if said that I wasnt thinking about you right then. You felt close.

"How close?" you ask? Wouldnt you like to know, girly.

» The Danger that Comes with Easy, Early Super-Success

I was thinking about the danger that comes from early, easy success and recognition.

I dont feel that this will be something that plagues you,

but it was definitely something that I had to deal with.

Because you cant help but feel like you've arrived,

and that you neednt push yourself to dig deeper and push further.

Or a person might feel that dont deserve all this success and acclaim,

and they will become reckless with their career or even sabotage it,

in order to lower their standing to a place where they feel more comfortable.

Your grounding here at these places of acclaim and recognition

is always the enormous amounts of work and energy that you have already put into your art and your craft and the broadening of your skill set ..

so you are able to summon an array of techniques .. whenever necessary.

» Internal vs External Locus of Control

You get over into here this aspect of internal vs external locus of control.

Your place of control.

The location from where you feel and sense control.

Long as you keep your locus of control internal,

all that stuff out there can certainly be very nice ..

but it shouldnt be an impediment from you bringing your best.

Every time.

I learned about this stuff while studying management techniques.

(Do you practice visualization exercises? Would you like to?)

And no, this is not easy to do. It's not easy to attain such early, easy recognition and not let it affect you in a detrimental sort of way.

(I know this wasnt easy for you, girly .. but you certainly make it look easy.)

» If You are Able to Pull this Off ...

If you are able to pull this off .. if you are able to attain such early, easy success and recognition, without letting it affect you in a detrimental way.

Without shaving off all your hair within the next year or two .. then I am definitely going to want to have sex with you. (I can tell already.)

I'm going to want to take over your locus of control .. for a while, anyway. You might feel disoriented. You probably will. (They normally do.)

This is the end of this page. Speaking of wanting to have sex with you .. this entry continues here » Artist of the Year - Page Three.

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