The Nature of the Problem Dating Super-Hottie Culture-Bending Singers

Rad note » this entry continues from here » Exceeding Even Unrealistically Lofty Expectations on Ellen. (It's a long story.)

Speaking of entering into a new relationship .. I can see already the nature of the problem with dating a girl such as yourself. This is going to be a very difficult proposition for you.

It's going to be difficult to get past the 2-3 month get-acquainted barrier. So many relationships die after 2-3 months.

See .. you are a beautiful, talented, gifted, sexy, powerful woman. And we wont even talk about the celebrity factor. And you are still pretty young. (Which means less years of experience, compared to an older person.)

It is going to be difficult for you to find a guy who is strong and secure enough .. to resist the urges of insecurity to try and 'possess' you.

And yes, psycho mind-fucks do indeed come into play here (.. trying to possess someone like you). See I almost feel sorry for these guys .. because I see what they're up against. (Because even the most secure among us have our moments of insecurity.)

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See .. from the guy's perspective .. which is my default perspective .. because I am a guy. From this perspective .. I dont want to say that it's all your fault .. for being so talented and sexy and pretty and powerful. But it is.

I can feel myself waxing abstract here, so I wont continue much further in this direction. (I am a geek, girly .. and geeks are into figuring out difficult problems.)

But I remember how severely it torqued my cranium .. when I saw that this powerful woman .. could drop all that power-stuff and be so vulnerable. I remember thinking, "I did not know that girls like this even existed." (And she was clearly out of my league .. even Nana could see that.)

I was downright bewildered .. how do you deal with such a thing? With such a girl?

» Bringing Existential Principles into Play

But psycho mind-fucking is not going to work for you.

And you never want to stay in a relationship that is affecting you negatively. If you cant rectify the thing in a reasonable amount of time .. you need to walk. (Because you love yourself too much to let someone hurt you repeatedly.)

We enter into these relationships because they are supposedly a mutually beneficial thing. So when they stop being mutually beneficial .. (I'll let you finish that sentence yourself.)

» The Idea of Being 'Used' in a Relationship

One of the recurrent themes that I have heard women bring up when talking about their relationships, particularly when they are talking amongst themselves .. is the idea of one person "using" the other. Sometimes I just listen to girls talk .. and I dont dare say anything.

So .. am I "using" you, Ariana? .. for my writing? You bet your ass I'm using you, girly.

I will use your ass right up, too .. if you leave it hanging out there long enough. I will completely annihilate your ass .. I will convert your ass to pure energy.

But the idea of "using" somebody in a relationship .. I mean, that's the whole point. It's an honor to be "used" by some people.

I see girls going to great lengths .. to have me use their asses. And if they are indeed successful in their schemes .. to have me use them .. then I make them pay.

» Making Her Pay Dearly

I will make her pay dearly .. for getting me so worked up. She will have trouble walking afterwards .. after I make her pay.

A well chiseled ass in Britney's Slumber PartyYou can always tell my long-term lovers.

By their chiseled, sculpted ass muscles.

Gluteus maximus is the text-book term, I think.

Her gluteus maximus will be getting regular work-outs.

Regular, vigorous, high-repetition work-outs.

Very regular .. I will wear-out her gluteus maximus nearly every night.

Downright savage at times. (Sometimes I just cant help myself.)

I will be driving her gluteus maximus deep into the mattress. Very deep. She will be thinking, "So that's what the box-spring feels like."

This is why she will soon have the ass of a sprinter.

» Stretching Her in Order to Feel More of Her

When I am on top, I sometimes like to roll my lover to her side .. so I can slip a hand under her ass.

So I can actually feel her ass muscles working .. you know, her gluteus maximus .. while I am working her. While I am all up in her business. Because this turns me on something ferocious.

Christmas Joy and her sexy guns

When you can literally feel her gluteus maximus working .. in the palm of your hand .. and when you can feel her ass muscles working with you .. and when you can feel every muscle in her body working with you ...

I probably should not finish that sentence. You feel me. Look at this photo of Christmas Joy here, lying on her back .. on these blocks of wood.

Rad note » this section on Christmas Joy has been moved to its own page .. see here » Christmas Joy and Her Sexy Guns.

» We Are All Telling Our Life-Story

See, girly .. I am using here my writing thing (.. because I so appreciate your singing thing). With my writing thing, I am creating this story for you.

Some of this story is real .. some of it imaginary .. a product of my imagination. My prodigious imagination, dontcha know.

But we are all writing our life-story .. every one of us. We ourselves are the stylus of this story.

And in our journeys while we are writing our story, our life's story .. we sometimes come across people who capture our attention. And we think, "What is it about this girl .. why am I feeling this thing? This thing that feels so amazingly good."

So we go over there .. warily, perhaps .. and we say to her, "Is it just me .. or do you not feel this thing .. this tingly thing?"

And it's kind of surprising how often they say, "Yes, I am definitely feeling this thing." So you naturally think, "What does this mean? I should probably look into this a little further." (Because I like this feeling that this girl is giving me .. and I like it a lot.)

So the two will share their stories with each other .. their life stories. Of course, at first we present a sanitized version of our story. Because we dont want to scare off this beautiful creature. Who looks so delicate and fragile.

And sometimes we come across creatures who say, "I will help you tell your story .. your life-story .. if you help me tell mine."

Now I would not use the term "using" .. to describe this mutually-agreed-upon and complementary aspect of story-telling. But some might.

Perhaps my point here is that .. only you can really know whether this thing is working for you. Or whether you are getting 'used' in the relationship.

I normally try to treat them so good .. that if it ever doesnt work out, they will be ruined for all other men. (I may be joking here .. but not as much as you might think.)

In the distant future .. when they have developed multi-dimensional imaging of a person's entire life .. they will see where my life's story intersected with yours.

And they will see the amount of high-energy light being given off at that intersection. And they will say, "Wow .. that is certainly very bright. Please hand me those thermonuclear-grade sunglasses there, will ya?"

» Enjoying Being Used

I use you (for some things) and you use me (for other things). That's the way a relationship works.

And when this mutual "using" is no longer working for either of you .. if you cannot rectify this mutual lack of using .. then this is the existential world telling you that it's time to move on.

Because surely, there is another beautiful creature .. out there somewhere .. who can use you much better. And who would enjoy using you equally as much.

But this walking away requires that you believe in yourself, no? In your talents and in your gifts. And especially in your value .. as a child of God. As a sentient human being .. with a beautiful soul. As a prime example of a carbon-based life-form created in the image and likeness of God Himself.

See .. the fear of being alone is so severe for some that they somehow adopt the idea that a bad, dysfunctional relationship is better than being alone.

It's actually a kind of mental illusion there .. an emotional optical illusion .. and when you confront your fear .. that is always a liberating thing.

And then you think, "What was I thinking?" (No guy is going to respect a girl who doesnt even respect herself.)

I do indeed bring existential principles into play in my relationships. This thing is either working for me or it aint. And if it aint, then it probably aint working for the other person either. (Which only reinforces the obvious message that it's time to move on.)

This is one of the reasons why the Wow girl said, "You're the strongest man I've ever met." Because she had been loading my pizza with plenty of high-quality spicy pepperoni. That was not easy to walk away from.

A big teller for me is the answer to this question » "Did they intentionally try to hurt me?"

We all get hurt in relationships from time to time; that's a given. It comes with the territory. Even if these hurts are unintentional, then a large number of them signal problems.

But if someone is intentionally trying to hurt you .. then this is a deal-breaker for me. Because we have names for people who intentionally try to harm us.

» Truly Knowing Thyself (Including Issues) Helps a Lot in Developing Relationships

This is where knowing thyself comes into play. Because if you know yourself, if you truly know yourself, then you can communicate this information, these insights, to your lover.

Otherwise, he will be forced to try to figure you out on his own. (it is always much better if you really know yourself and can convey your insights.)

I have encountered a surprisingly wide variation between girtls who know themselves remarkably well and girls who havent a clue .. who delude themselves daily. (For a myriad of different reasons.)

» New Shoes

You were rapping some good shit there, girly. I was totally feeling you. I never heard that song before .. and yes, you do indeed look good. True that.

Ariana's new shoes at the Macy's Presents Fashion's Front Row at MSG in NYC Sept 7, 2016

Which is why I am here writing this now .. and not soaking in the steamy candlelit epsom salt bath. (Dostoevsky himself soaked in mineral springs .. when the writing life was slowly trying to kill him. It's easy to see why.)

» Go Fuck Yourself

I would be lying if I said that I didnt hear a little "Go fuck yourself" in that rap. I have been known to say such things myself from time to time .. and yes, sometimes it gets me in trouble.

(Nobody says 'Go fuck yourself' like Egan. He is so good. That's one of the reasons why I love him.)

One of the things that I do .. as a sort of writing exercise .. is to put the words of other people into my own words. I guess that you could call this 'paraphrasing'.

But I go a step further and actually try to say what they are saying .. even better then they can say it themselves. And then I will sign this translation of mine with my signature humor.

Life right now has me appreciating certain absurdist aspects. So I'm sure that my humor would naturally reflect that.

I am not going to put your rap into my own words. But I could.

Perhaps my point here is that .. if you're having relationship problems .. I can certainly understand why .. because the very nature of who-you-are is going to precipitate such things (in guys). Let's hope I'm wrong.

[ But, since we will always be in love forever .. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it. Have you noticed, Ariana, how much easier it is to handle life's gnarlier aspects .. when you are in love? ]

To put a finer point on it .. I try to avoid injecting blame into a break-up. Because we dont know what emotional liabilities people grew up with. (Fitzgerald dabbles on this point here at the very beginning of Gatsby, tho his approach is more economic.)

And they may simply not have it in them .. for a myriad of possible reasons. And if we didnt grow up in their shoes, then we cannot know the things they are dealing with. Or they may simply not have the thing that we need to feel genuinely loved in a relationship.

And we want to believe that our intimate time spent with another soul will continue to benefit them, perhaps more later rather than sooner.

If a relationship doesnt work, then it doesnt work. It doesnt really matter why. Trying to assign blame for the relationship's dysfunction always devolves into finger-pointing. And that only makes a bad situation worse.

Save yourself lots of grief and go no-fault like California. Send them off with a prayer and a blessing .. but send them off.

"I wish we had what it took to make this thing work, my friend .. but we obviously dont."

We get so much pleasure and so much pain thru our intimate relationships .. that I have tried long-n-hard to crack that nut. I have watched and studied people who are particularly good at relating .. in order to try to learn from them. Their techniques.

For example, I have noticed trouble in relationships, with relationships .. between people who grew up in mom-dominat familes vs those who grew up in dad-dominant families.

I am not saying one is necessarily better than the other, but simply that, when stress enters the relationship, as it will, people tend to revert back to their default style .. whatever that happens to be.

And if these defaults are different .. if they are incompatible with each other .. the this is bound to be a sticking point. I'm sure you feel me.

The girl who knew more about making relationships work .. than anybody else I ever met .. she said that, if you have no kids together, then you need to be creating something in the relationship.

In this sense, girly .. we have a good relationship .. you-n-me. We are pollenating each other .. so to speak.

Some people make us feel so amazingly good .. while others make us feel so horribly bad. So welcome and cultivate the good .. and walk away from the bad. Welcome the ones who bring out the best in you .. and distance yourself from the ones who bring out your worst.

» People Who Make Us Feel Good About Ourselves

Regarding the finding of someone who brings out the best in us .. you make me feel good about myself. Because you stimulate and inspire me to dig deeper and to push further.

It is hard not to fall in love with people who bring out the best in us, and who make us feel good about ourselves.

We want to say to these people, "Thank-you for making me feel so good about myself."

I did not know that I had this in me .. until you came along. And challenged me. Provoked me. Inspired me.

You can really feel it .. when it's working for you. Yes?

We naturally want to express this appreciation to these people. The only question is » "How?"

For you, I am going to do something that has never been done before. I just dont yet know what that is. We will go down in history as a first .. you-n-me.

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on September 15, 2016 9:15 PM.

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