The Surrender Girl

Rad note » this entry originated from another page. It was moved here because the subject drifted far enough to warrant its own, separate entry. (Hard to imagine, I know.)

At the end of this entry (that you're reading now) I have included a link that will return you to the exact spot from where this entry originated. Here ya go ...

Oh .. now this is making me think of another thing. (I should have known this would happen.) Not a thing about one of these young, industrial-strength hotties .. but certainly a scandalous story.

Normally, I would never share this story. Perhaps this, again, this is because it involves the element of surrender .. which can be embarrassing for the well-ego'ed male. This is the thing that links these two stories for me. I can see this now.

» Joyce Carol Oates on the Heart of a Champion

Joyce Carol Oates, in talking about Muhammed Ali, says » The heart of the champion is this: One never repudiates one's deepest values, one never gives in.

She makes my point for me. Because surrender is the opposite of never-giving-in.

[ I like her because of what she said about the Great Gatsby. Tho I find it surprising that she is showing up here in this section on the Surrender girl.

This must mean that she's a very kinky girl .. the kind you dont take home to mother.

Mother: "Wasnt that Joyce Carol Oates that I saw you out with last night?"

Son: "We're just friends, mom .. relax." ]

See, a part of me feels like I surrendered to this industrial-strength hottie at the coffee shop. I mean, I could have simply went over there and chatted very nicely, like I usually do, and it would have been no big deal.

But, because she was so smoking hot (and so young) I was intimidated by her. And I am rarely intimated by anything. (I look for shit like that.)

Perhaps intimidated is not the right word. I mean, I've never given this subject much thought.

And I am not even sure that I am actually going to share this story .. but I can certainly lead up to it and stop when shit starts to get steamy. Because it gets pretty steamy in a hurry.

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But this is a different kind of surrender that I'm talking about here.

See .. there is an aspect to strong male-female relationships .. where the goal of the woman is ultimately your nuts in a glass jar on her dresser.

Notice how my special friend said » "We want your soul." This is exactly what I am talking about here.

But every girl goes about this differently. And some are better at it than others. And some are much better. And some are downright wizardly.

I mean, they are so good that they make you want to put your balls in that jar that is sitting there on her dresser.

It is not really so cut-and-dry and heartless as this might make it sound .. but you can definitely feel the forces at play in the background.

The more insecure they are .. they more you can feel these things come into play .. as they struggle for to overcome their own insecurity by trying to establish it in you. (Which never works.)

Let me just set the scene for you and then I will quit and leave you in a heightened state of sexual frustration (.. like you are doing to me).

I was working swing-shift (3-11:30 PM) on a Friday and I got a call about an hour before end of shift from this girl I used to see.

[ Who I was probably a little too nice to. I put a little too much spicy pepperoni on her pizza. Maybe a lot too much. It scares me when girls lose their mind like that. Because crazy girls do crazy shit. And nobody does crazy shit like a crazy girl who is out of her mind. ]

And she and her girlfriend are there are her place in town. She has a real nice place. (She is another boss lady, but not the Fifty Shades one.)

They have been out on the town and are feeling good, drinking wine .. you know.

» She Looked So Innocent

Now I have never met this other girl who is there with her .. but I have heard about her.

Jade with the powerAnd I have seen pictures and she is definitely a hottie.

She looks so innocent, but she is far from innocent.

I thought of this girl when I saw Jade here. »

Notice, in particular, the look in Jade's eye.

I made the image plenty big so you can see exactly what I'm talking about.

And this girl on the phone is trying to get me to come over to her place after work (in 1 hour).

And play with her and her friend.

But her friend is no ordinary friend .. no, sirree.

Her friend is a kinky little shit. A kinkster. A kinky little hottie .. who happens to look so innocent that it actually messes with your head.

Her friend likes to take control of powerful men. She would go down to the Officer's club at the Naval base down in San Diego and find high-ranking officers there and have her way with them .. bending them to her will .. her kinky desires.

This is what did it for this girl. Dont ask me why .. because I dont know. And again, I need to emphasize that she looked like the most innocent little thing you've ever seen.

And while the girl-who-I-gave-too-much-spicy-pepperoni to is talking to me, the kinky little hottie who I have never met, says, "Let me talk to him," and she grabs away the phone and starts talking to me.

Now, this is where shit starts getting steamy. So perhaps this is where I should quit.

But the shit that she is saying to me .. is so unbelievable that I am sure that no one would ever believe me if I told them .. because I can hardly believe it myself .. as I am listening to her.

So while this girl is narrating to me .. all the things that she wants to do to me .. I silently call over this other dude (Jeffrey) who is sitting with me there in the break room.

I am mouthing, "Listen to this," turning out the receiver as he put his ear near mine.

It isnt long until he turns to me and points to himself as if to say, "Dude, I will gladly go do this thing if you are too scared."

I silently pushed him away .. you kinky fucker, you. And I kept listening to her by myself.

Now .. why might I be too scared, you ask? That's definitely the question at play here, no?

This is Fifty Shades stuff here. A different kind of Fifty Shades than what I did as a homage to Anne Rice .. but definitely Fifty Shades.

But this girl sounds very nice and pleasant and sociable on the phone and is very easy in her conversation. And she is encouraging me to come over after work.

"Just stop by when you get off. We have some candles lit. There's some easy music playing. The view here is simply amazing. It's a beautiful night. We have wine, but if you like something else, we'd be glad to run out and get it for you. I've heard so many wonderful things about you. I am really looking forward to meeting you. Please come over. Dont make me beg."

And she kept going. (But I am not going to tell you the outrageous things she was saying to me. I had never heard stuff like that before. This girl was obviously comfortable talking way-kinky .. with a guy she's never even met. That alone is cranium-torquer.)

When the other guy put his ear to the receiver, she asked, "How does that sound to you?" I wanted this other guy to hear the things she was saying, so I said, "Could you please tell me a little more about exactly what you have in mind?"

Which she was only too happy to do. (She did not sound the slightest bit drunk, and I definitely liked her voice.)

But I wasnt seeing this other girl any more .. because she got a little carried away with me. Actually, she got a lot carried away.

» Too Much Spicy Pepperoni

[[ I had definitely been too nice to this girl .. I could see this after the fact. Too much spicy pepperoni .. you know.

Sometimes, I have noticed that, girls get a little nuts-o when I show them a little too much of myself .. like I am showing you now. [ Most girls have difficulty handling me. Especially when I start to be myself and show them more of who I really am. I can see that it's too much for them. I feel sad when I realize that they simply do not have what it takes to 'get' me. The real me. Behind the pretty face. Tho, a part of me is not really surprised. So I keep looking .. for somebody that simply gets me. Who understands me. Who understands who I really am. I sometimes feel like I've been looking my whole life. ]

It's definitely a learning process for me. I cant say that I really understand it.

But I am careful about how far I can take them and how much of myself I can show them .. before they start weirding out on me. I usually have to keep it pretty tame.

» You Might Want to Do Some Push-Ups

[[ You are handling me rather well. Arent you? You know how to handle spicy pepperoni .. you and your Illuminati Ninja Princesses like you. You slayers extraordinaire.

I am going to start adding some weight to you .. some gravity. So I want you to be ready. Maybe do some push-ups to prepare.

I will be watching closely to see how you handle the weight .. the gravity. The pressure.

So far, I have been very much impressed. (Did I say very?) You actually make it look easy.

(Speaking of spicy pepperoni .. did you see Sinead's shirt?) ]]

» Start Them Slow and Easy and See How They Handle It

I learned a lot about this kind of stuff from the wow girl. She said, "My shrink said that I cant just tell people everything about myself all at once .. that this is too much for people to handle. So now I give it to them in bite-sized chunks and see how they respond. If they can handle it, then I wait a little and give them a little more when the time is right."

I could certainly see the wisdom in this. "Your shrink makes a good point," I said. She had been seeing shrinks most of her life.

She was like one of those clowns who pulls a colorful scarf out of a black hat .. that is tied to another (differently colored) scarf. And the thing never stops coming.

Only, she was more like the string-of-scarves than the clown himself. A lot more.

I dont have proof, but my intuition tells me .. from things I heard her say .. that she slept with her shrink (an older-woman shrink) in lieu of payment.

The wow girl had that thing that makes guys crazy. I usually dont get crazy, but she made me crazy.

When a girl has electricity in her fingertips .. eerily intuitive electricity .. that shit will make you crazy. In a hurry.

She knew how to make you crave her. She was an otherworldly sexual creature .. with powers far beyond those of mortal men.

She once kept me right at the point of orgasm (in the Porsche, with the top off) for the entire ride down on the freeway from LA to Orange county.

And if you dont think that wont make you crazy...

I felt certain she would slip up .. but she had flawless sexual radar.

I said, "Come on, Trace .. gimme a break. I'm going crazy here. This shit is not safe .. driving me crazing like this .. while I'm driving."

She's like, "Not a chance.. I'm getting me some of this when we get home."

I was beside myself when we finally got there. I was in a trace. What a feeling .. like you supercharged with sexual energy.

She liked the feeling of you being out of your mind with sexual desire for her. She liked it a lot.

And when she wanted to dial it up, she was unstoppable. The level of her intuition .. remarkable. She did many things to me that I had never seen before. And I had been around the block .. a time or two. Or three.

She liked it when I would drive alongside truckers, who could look down at her and see her giving me head. You could feel the way it turned her on. You could feel it strongly.

I would say, "He's looking right at you." She was kinky little shit, too. When we got home .. she had at me. She was on fire. There was no stopping her when she on fire.

But my point here is that .. this kinky surrender girl, who is talking to me on the phone .. very confidently, I should add .. trying to get me to come over after work .. she probably knew more about me than I was comfortable with.

I remember thinking, while listening to her tell me all the things that she had waiting in store for me » "This girl knows me remarkably well for someone I've never met."

She actually knew me better, intuitively speaking, than the girl I had been seeing. (The girl I had been seeing was definitely dazzled, but I dont feel that she really knew the real me.)

But this little kinkster was already working me .. on the phone. I could tell right away that she knew what she was doing with me and that she was good at what she did.

[ I know that you want me to tell you what she did. How badly do you want me to tell you? Because I am probably going to need some convincing. ]

Because she had obviously been talking to this girl about me. Who I had obviously showed too much of myself.

At the end of the section where I talk about dating the Jewish Christian church-girl singer .. I mention how I can sometimes be an inspiration to girls ..

.. and how a certain girl left a message on my machine that was so nasty and that went on for so long ..

.. that my roommate at the time said, "Holy shit, dude .. that's a good message. You should save it."

This is that girl. (But before she left that message.)

I remember feeling frisky and playful with this girl. And it is easy for me to reveal too much of myself (in a playful way) when I am feeling frisky and playful.

It was easy for me to have fun with her .. but it was just fun.

She was very good to me. Very thoughtful. Which is why I was so nice to her .. why I put so much spicy pepperoni on her pizza. Too much, obviously.

When girls like me too much, then they get carried away with me. And when they get carried away, then they try to grasp onto me .. in a desperate sort of way .. that scares me.

They try to possess my soul .. because they dont want to lose me. Sure, I get it. But this is the problem.

Any time I feel them trying to possess me .. trying to own me .. I take a step back from the relationship.

Which usually only makes them even more desperate. I've seen it play out time and again. What am I doing wrong?

I can go pretty far in a relationship rather quickly .. because I know myself .. my strengthsa and my weaknesses. But beyond I certain point I will not go (cannot go?) .. until I know it's safe.

And if a girl does not get me .. then she cannot know me. And if she cannot know me, then she cannot love me. At least, not the way I need to be loved. (This stuff is so obvious to me, I almost feel silly writing it.)

I admit that, on the surface, being-nice-to someone can look a lot like love. But there is a v.a.s.t difference between being-nice-to someone and actually loving them. (Key word » vast.)

Sometimes I am looking for nothing more than a nice, pleasant-on-the-surface relationship. But usually, I am looking for something more. Something deeper. Something a lot deeper.

(A lot deeper than I am driving her ass into the mattress .. which, admittedly, can get pretty deep, at times .. particularly when I am feeling frisky.)

I am looking for the transformative intimacy that comes from the interaction of two souls at a mind-blowingly profound level. (Isnt everybody?)

It may be worth noting here that John said perfect love drives out fear. You know John. The pillar. Because perfect love .. that's what I'm after. And no, I aint scared.

This is why I feel more relaxed when girls dont like me too much. I know this sounds almost counterintuitive .. but there is much to life that is counterintuitive. No?

And this is why the best relationships are a natural letting-things-happen .. than an unnatural forcing. ]]

But it was the surrender thing that got me thinking about this story. And this girl is all about getting you to surrender to her. And the way she goes about it .. well, that's the story.

And she knows how to work you. She has this intuitive sixth sense. Remarkable.

On the previous page, I mention how manipulators are so fucked up in the way they try to get you to do things .. they are so dysfunctional in their social skills .. that they actually make you not want to do things that you ordinarily would be all for doing.

Well, this girl was so good at what she does .. that she actually makes you want to do things that you ordinarily would never want to do. And she makes you want it badly.

(She makes you beg .. genuinely beg her .. for things you ordinarily would never want. "I'm just not feeling convinced that you really want this. Do you think you can do a better job at convincing me? Because it really helps me a lot when I am genuinely feeling convinced that you really want this. Here, let me try to help motivate you a little better. Maybe I havent been motivating you properly. It's probably all my fault .. for not motivating you properly. I very much enjoy motivating you. I hope you can see that. Here, give me your hand .. so I can show you what I mean, and help motivate you a little better." )

But she does not just let you say, "Uncle. I give up." No, sir .. that's not the way it works with her. It's not that easy, my friend. (Not hardly.)

It's much more complicated than that. Much more involved. Because she takes you so far beyond surrender that ...

This is probably all I should say right now. I should leave things here. If you think this is being teasie .. then wait 'til I start telling you about this girl and how she works.

But you can see how it takes her .. when she sees that she is getting to you. That was very trippy .. this dominant side of her slowly comes out.

Her voice gets more commanding. More authoritative. She actually walks differently. Her mannerisms and gestures validate her authority. She is definitely feeling it and feeling at home in it.

But she starts out as this little, innocent, almost frail-looking girl. Totally wholesum, thru and thru. Looks can be deceiving.

"It's going to be my way, isnt it?" she says. "Tell me it's going to be my way. I like when you tell me that it's going to be my way. I like it a lot. You cannot possibly imagine what it does to me when you tell me this. But I need you to convince me. I need you dig deep and really convince me. I promise you .. you wont regret it. Here .. let me try to help motivate you a little better."

She waxes more commanding, more demanding. "It will be my way. You know that you really want it to be my way. I dont know why you keep resisting. I can feel you resisting me. I dont like when you resist me. Not at all. Let me show you what I mean."

The end. ■

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Rad published on June 4, 2016 6:04 AM.

Flirting with Danger - Addendum Part Two was the previous entry in this blog.

Flirting with Danger - Addendum Part Three is the next entry in this blog.

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