What Makes a Love-Story Convincing?

Rad note » this page continues from here » Some Truly Awesome Wailing in Boston. (It's a long story.)

Merry Christmas, girly. I'm working on your Christmas present right now. I'll set it under the tree for you soon as I'm done writing it.

When I asked you earlier what makes a love story convincing .. the obvious answer is » the love.

The quality of the love. And other things, too. But mostly the love. What is a love-story without love? (Just another story.)

And notice how you cant really see love itself. Rather you can only see the results of it, the effects of it. The consequences of it, if you will. (The same goes for hate, unfortunately.)

Loving actions do not necessarily speak loudly .. but they do speak clearly. They do indeed.

This is why love plays so well in the world of the existentialist.

In order to have a convincing love-story, you first need a convincing love. Then you need convincing lovers. Then you need a convincing storyteller, who is himself a convincing lover.

You need a lot a things, girly .. in order to write a convincing love-story. That's why only one was written in the last century. (According to Vanity Fair. I mean, if anybody would know...)

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••• today's entry continues here below •••

» How Can You Not Want to Make Love to Such a Creature?

For the writer to write convincingly, he needs to be feeling his story. He needs to be immersed in his story. He needs to become his story.

And fuck if I aint feeling this thing .. in a big way.

You are making this all too easy, girly. You are greasing the tracks and shoveling into my furnace of creativity a seemingly endless supply of inspired coal.

How can you not want to make love with someone who does things like this for you?

Rad bedroom with four candles, ocean and sky

Let me know if you ever figure it out.

» I Know You are Rubbing Your Eyes

Girly, I know that you are rubbing your eyes, as if in disbelief .. reading this stuff here that I am writing to you.

And there's a lot more where this came from. I'm just getting warmed up. Too bad for you. There will likely be nothing left of you come morning. You cant say that I didnt try to warn you.

I dont want to leave you with the wrong impression either. This shit is not as easy as I make it look.

I am pulling shit out of my ass on a nearly daily basis.

"Dude," I can hear this voice in my head saying, "you must really like this girl .. if you are writing stuff like this. This is some serious throwdown right here. You are flexing your muscles for her. She has never seen anything the likes of you before .. so go slow with her. See how much she can handle .. see how much she can take .. before you start giving it to her with gusto. She's not very big. Why crack a good wall if she's not ready yet?"

Girly, I am creating an entire universe out of thin air right before your very eyes. I only do that for people that I really like.

» Demonstrating Proficiency

Back when I was busy turning matter into energy .. you know, when I was standing on those diamond deck plates .. they would send a crew of guys every year from Washington ..

.. to come check you out, and to see if you really knew how to operate a reactor safely. They would run a week's worth of drills on our asses and pretend as tho the plant was heading south.

In this image here, the reactor spaces are located just aft of the humpback bulge, which contains the missiles.

Everything from the end of that hump to the very end screw .. that was my home for a number of years. On those industrial grade diamond deck plates.

A nuclear-powered ballistic-missile submarine launches its missiles

These are called Operational Reactor Safeguards Exam (ORSE), and they would come and look over your shoulder and ask you questions about what you were doing.

Now, I could go into great detail, of course .. but my point is that, for these inspectors from Washington .. I was turning matter into energy right before their very eyes .. and narrating to them exactly what I was doing and why I was doing it.

And this is close to how I feel with you sometimes. I am narrating to you exactly how I am doing the impossible. I am demonstrating my proficiency for you. So go ahead and rub your eyes again.

Because you have never seen anything the likes of me before. 

Girly, my ego gets ferocious sometimes. My ego likes you. He likes you a lot. I can tell. Because you make him feel so good.

One of these days I might give him some dedicated time to talk to you. That would definitely be very dangerous. He wants to tell you how much he appreciates what you do for him.

There was a time when I very much catered to my ego. And all its whims. But that's another story.

» The Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity

Girly, do you remember the line that I was telling you about .. you know, the one between genius and insanity?

I'm looking right at it. There it is. It's so beautiful. I want to touch it (t=2:15). Do you think I should?

'As an experience, madness is terrific' writes Virginia Woolf in 1913 in 'The Voyage Out'

What side of the line do you think I am standing on right now? (Sometimes it's hard to tell.)

» A Love-Story that Takes You Deep into the Moment

Ariana singing Dangerous Woman in Boston Dec 11, 2016One of the things, girly, that distinguishes our Third Millennium love-story,

from that of previous love-stories ..

is this real-time aspect of it.

There is an ever-evolving aspect to our love-story.

As we react to each other.

[ Girly, you look so delicious here that I can hardly stand it.

If I were there, I would definitely run up on stage and tackle your ass.

Fuck the tranquilizer darts.

What a creature you are .. what a dazzling creature.

» For the Good of the Species

We should definitely get busy makin' babies right away.

For the good of the species, of course.

I am very much feeling the urge to merge.

What do you think this might mean? ]

And as I play off of real, valid, authentic, existential echoes from the past which resonate today in similar ways. [ Scripture uses this same technique of calling echoes from the past into the present. ]

(This might be why I am having trouble determining the location of the line between the real and the imaginary. Many times I have said to myself, "This should not be feeling so real .. but it does. How can this be?" )

» Stranger than Fiction

This approach to writing this story (our story) resonates well, does it not .. with my writing perspective, which acknowledges and admits that existential reality is often stranger than fiction.

I could never imagine anything like this. And I have a pretty good imagination .. as you can tell.

» Being Fully Present (Conscious) in the Blissful Moment

Regarding the desire to inhabit the present moment .. especially when the present moment contains such ancient and mystical pleasures ..

.. I read this verse recently, which pretty much instructs the believer to be unconcerned with anything except for the present moment (today, now .. not tomorrow). No?

All of the people I know who consciously practice being present in the present moment .. they are all very cool people .. to be with. In my opinion.

The scriptures continually instruct the believer to not worry or fret or have anxiety about anything. In my mind, fretting seems to mean » giving more of a shit than you really should.

» The Effects of Experimental Writing Techniques and Styles Here in the Third Millennium

What effect does my writing have on the reader when I anchor it in existential realities?

I can see how this could be too much for some readers.

[ This is why I do this for you, girly .. because I want you to feel like it's too much for you.

The only problem is that girls never say that it's too much. Never.

Not even one time .. no matter how much spicy pepperoni I throw on her pizza. ]

The love-stories of previous generations all developed in the mind of the author, of the writer. Do they not?

I dont see how it could be any other way.

Living in the moment, in the present moment .. and being fully present in the moment .. this is what I can feel myself striving for in my writing here with you.

Graphic representation of a double-helix strand of DNA

Because the best love-making is when both lovers are fully present in the moment.

And if I am going to love you like you have never been loved before, then I will need to be present in a way that works for you.

I know a few tricks myself, girly.

Sometimes I feel like I am taking advantage of you .. because I have so much more experience at these things. I can hear Kate Hudson giving me shit about being such a hypocrite. But I do not see you complaining very much. Au contraire.

» Continuing to Press On Ever Further into Uncharted Territories

One of the defining aspects of this thing with you .. is this feeling of ever pressing forward into uncharted territories.

I am not always open to this exploratory adventure. Sometimes I am happy where I'm at and see no need to explore new lands.

I was more than happy to stop at Page Ten. You know how hard I tried. But I could feel you provoking me on further.

These are always special relationships. Because sometimes you yourself are ready to explore new lands, but you can find no worthy explorer to accompany you.

Or you may indeed find a such a person, but you yourself are not able to summon the exploratory urge required to move out of your comfort zone.

But when two find each other who are indeed willing and able .. oh, girly .. you dont want to know what I want to do to you right now.

I should stop writing along this tangent. Do you know what things lie further down this tangent? Dare we explore further down this particular tangent?

» Where Lies the Blurry Line Between Imagination and Reality?

Speaking of diverting from this tangent .. do you remember when I told you, at the very beginning of this entry .. how I went for walk and was thinking about how easily this thing with you seems to come? How surprisingly easy it comes.

Well, that was on the way out. On the way back I was thinking about how the lines between real and imaginary seem blurred with you. I am not so sure where reality ends and the imaginary begins.

Ariana wet in My Favorite Part

Sometimes I joke around with you about different things. But there is always an underlying element of truth and reality behind the joke.

Exactly how much truth and exactly how much reality lie behind my jokes .. this it not always clear. Sometimes it is not clear at all. "How much of my oke here is really a joke?" I often wonder.

That was a weird feeling .. this lack of definiteness and certainty .. with this thing. Our thing. Our erotic thing.

(I definitely want to slip my hand somewhere right now, so I can more fully express these sentiments. No doubt about it. Just being honest.)

» Are We Really in Love .. or Does it Just Feel that Way?

Speaking of the blurry line between reality and the imaginary .. girly, are we really in love? Or does it just feel that way?

I like the way that it feels when you are love with a beautiful creature. I like it a lot.

It feels like every cell in your body is happy .. and someone who really knows you and who really understands you .. is connected to you .. in some ancient, cosmic sort-of-way.

It feels warm and honey-like and soothing and invigorating all at the same time.

The geek in me tries to figure this out, "How can this be? How can this impossible thing feel like the thing that I have been searching for all my life?"

I have never been able to come up with an answer that made any sense.

» A Complex Question

This question here that I pose to you » are we really in love .. or does it just feel that way .. this is what is known as a complex question.

A complex question is one that contains a statement (hidden) within it .. known as a presupposition. Some people might call this type of question a trick question.

Most people use complex questions in the negative .. such as, "Are you really an idiot .. or do you just act like one?"

I learned about complex questions and similar logical fallacies in Logic class.

Girly, if I am posing complex questions to you .. that can only mean one thing » it's just a matter of time .. before your panties are mine.

Surrender your panties, Dorothy.

» The Dazzle Effect

I have never thought about this before .. but you know how thinking about one thing can sometimes make you think about another.

But, along these lines of the ambiguity between the real and the imaginary in this thing that we have .. this cool thing, this very cool thing .. this erotic thing.

[ Eroticism is very much about the imagination, you know.

Welcome to my world, girly. Let me show you around. Let me show you how we do here.

You might want to put on these here thermonuclear-grade sunglasses. The flash can get bright. ]

This private thing. This intimate thing, even.

But as I continue to explore this erotic thing with you .. this thing that is clearly challenging me .. I have noticed along these journeys certain similarities that I have with you. And that you have with me.

Some of these similarities, these areas where our patterns match .. some of these I have written about, because they are easy for me to speak to (.. just like some things are easy for Katie Holmes to speak to).

I tend to speak to things that are not easily perceived, because these sorts of things, I feel, bring a greater bang-for-your-writing buck in the area of authenticity and organic writing that I so highly prize.

But there are also things which appear more immediate and prominent .. areas of resonance with you .. where I see things and say to myself, "Oh, I see what she is dealing with here."

And one of these areas is what I call the dazzle effect.

» People Stop Telling You What they Really Think

I am not really sure why some girls get dazzled by me, but I can see when they do. They act stupid. They say stupid things.

And yes, there is a flattering aspect to it, sure. But it gives me the feeling that I am not interacting with the real person here. For whatever reason, they are saying and doing things that they think I want to hear.

Back when I was just a simple, knuckle-dragging tech .. people would tell me what they really thought, and how they really felt.

This is one of the reasons why I love the Dog .. because he tells me what he really thinks.

Ariana and Jason Robert BrowneAs a celebrity, I would imagine that you know exactly what I am talking about.

I do not really like this feeling that I get when people start acting stupid.

I am sympathetic, sure, but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

This is why I was not crazy about the idea of being a boss.

People stop telling you what they really think, and they start telling you what they think you want to hear .. because they want to curry favor with you.

I was in charge of the (temporary) contractors, but not in charge of the permanent 'house' people, who did the same job.

The house people would say to me privily, "They are scared of you. When they hear that you are coming they run and hide. They scurry and they scatter."

I was not trying to scare anybody. I was just trying to keep the shit moving along steadily. I was trying to foresee and mitigate problems on the fly.

I could easily drop off into this rabbit hole here, but I just wanted to mention it in passing. We will talk more about it later.

The writer wants to be able to talk to anybody about anything at anytime and get a true sense of their soul, of their heart .. without people crafting their language in such a way as to say what they think he wants to hear.

I know you feel me here.

» Exploring the Entire Range of Moral Experience with a Dazzling Creature

My point in mentioning this here, where I discuss the blurring of the line between imagination and reality (.. between genius and insanity) .. is to acknowledge and validate your dazzle factor. Your considerable dazzle factor.

And I can feel something in me approaching my journeys with you, my exploration of the entire range of moral experience, from the satanic to the divine ..

Full-spectrum living includes life's unpleasantries

.. I can feel something in me acknowledging your dazzle factor, and even playing off of it, reflecting it .. yet not being overcome by it, and even becoming comfortable with it. (Because I like you.)

Because I dont want to be for you that same type of person who is dazzled by me.

Dancer lifting Ariana's skirt at the 2016 AMA's Microsoft Theater Los Angeles Nov 20This is one of the reasons why ..

.. I keep sliding my writer's hand down into your singer's panties.

» You Want Me to do What?

[ Girly, I can almost hear this guy here, this dancer ..

I can almost hear him saying, "You want me to do what?

You want me to put my hand on Ariana's thigh and lift her skirt?

You gotta be shittin' me. All my friends are gonna be so jealous.

This must be a cool dream I am having right now. I hope nobody wakes me anytime soon."

I bet the alternate dancer on your crew was hoping that this guy would fall and break his leg. ]

It is my way of saying,

"I am not so dazzled with you, girly, that I am so intimidated that I wont slide my hand down into your panties right here for everybody to see."

Because I want you to get to know the real me.

And not some dazzled person who is talking stupid shit in order to try and tell you what he thinks you want to hear .. who is trying to curry favor with you.

Speaking of getting to know me .. girly, do you think that you can get to know someone from their writing?

This is the end of this page. This entry continues here » Connecting with the Soul Behind the Dazzle. ■

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on December 25, 2016 12:25 PM.

My Gay Roommate Talking to My Mom in Hushed Tones at the Kitchen Table was the previous entry in this blog.

The Madness of Fergie's Beautiful Life is the next entry in this blog.

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