Connecting with the Soul Behind the Dazzle - Page One

••• today's entry continues here below •••

See .. when I met the Bug's mom running on the beach .. I was not looking for romantic involvement.

Because, the minute you introduce the concept of boyfriend-girlfriend, then most people automatically bring their expectations into the relationship.

And many of these expectations are unrealistic. A knight in shining armor who never farts. (This is why girls who have been married before usually bring more realistic expectations into a relationship.)

» The Expectations of Others

[ If you spend your whole life trying to live up to other people's expectations of you, then you will end up selling yourself short.

I was looking for a girl who could help me achieve my own goals, and not one who would try to saddle me with hers.

I'd already had enough of those. More than enough, actually.

The best relationships are those where each lover helps the other achieve their own goals and dreams ..

.. a mutually beneficial thing, where you appreciate the things that your lover does for you, and it delights you to no end helping them achieve their goals.

I know that I am stating the obvious. I do that sometimes.

Here are some lyrics from Dylan. Notice how his lover wants everything to be about her:

You say you're lookin' for someone
Who'll pick you up each time you fall
To gather flowers constantly
And to come each time you call
A lover for your life and nothing more ]

And I already know that I am in no position to meet a girl's expectation of a 'boyfriend'.

Because I am dedicated to my writing at this point. I am committed to developing my art, to honing my craft. (And it's not as easy as I make it look. Not hardly. It is a soul-wrenching thing.)

See, I might not have known exactly what I wanted in a relationship, or what was possible .. but I knew what I didnt want. (Which is why I didnt stop and talk to her on the beach much sooner.)

Company has the lyric, "So dont make this something." The something that brings unrealistic expectations into a relationship of what a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship should look like .. is the 'something' that she doesnt want you to make.

Go ahead and ask her yourself. She has another lyric that says » "I'm not like a girlfriend." (Why not, Tinashe? Why are you not like a girlfriend? You look like a girlfriend to me.)

If a girl is looking for someone to whom she can bring her drama .. or for someone who she can use to process all the unresolved hurts and frustrations and anger and resentments and hostilities from past relationships with past boyfriends .. then she is not looking for someone like me.

[ That's what therapists are trained to deal with. ]

I am not about the drama. I am not about becoming a male punching bag that she can use to process and vent all her anger and frustrations and disappointments from her previous male partners. Why not? Because I am about » the writing.

Do I expect her to be able to understand me? Not really. I mean, I certainly hope she could understand who I am .. but that would make her a special type of creature if he could.

How do you tell a girl, "You are going to have to be satisfied with a backseat to my art, to my developing craft." ?

There is no good way to say this. And I am very up-front in my relationships. "This is what I can do for you in this relationship .. and this is what I cant do."

[ Because I have been in so many relationships, and in so many different kinds of relationships, with such different people. And I have learned so much in the process .. often for the better, but certainly not always. ]

What if you state as clearly as possible at the outset of the relationship, that you are not able to enter into a traditional sort of relationship at this time?

What if she agrees to your non-traditional limitations, but then changes her mind once in the relationship .. to want a different type of relationship that you have already told her you are not able to do?

What do you, as a girl, as a girly-girl, think of this?

» People Hear what they Want to Hear

This only confirms my impression and my observation that » people hear what they want to hear.

As a boss, whenever I was delivering some important information to a tech, I would say, "Do you understand?" And they would say that they did.

If this were something that we could not afford to screw up .. then I would follow up by saying, "Okay, tell me what you understand that I said." Most of the time they got it .. but sometimes they didnt.

Anyway .. I did not even know if such a relationship were possible .. if such an unconventional, non-traditional relationship were even possible. But Tinashe's lyrics seem to suggest that it is indeed possible.

This song is about the nature of a relationship. A non-traditional relationship.

Notice how I wrote here »

And she pulled up a chair alongside and we were having the most marvelous conversations about everything and nothing and I am totally digging this girl.

Especially her particular mix and match of convention and unconvention. I mean, she keeps hopping back-n-forth .. causing me to reevaluate every time.

For conventional and unconventional, you could substitute the words » traditional and untraditional. See, I am primarily interested in whether she can do a non-traditional relationship.

Because if she cant, this thing is going nowhere fast.

» Young Girls Speaking My Language

I was reading these lyrics and wondering, "How is that these young girls speak my language?"

Girly, when a person whose work you respect and admire also respects and admires your own work, your own art, your own craft .. this is a very satisfying thing .. wouldnt you say? (I certainly would.)

All this mutual respecting and admiring .. I'm not going to tell you where this makes me want to put my hand. My nice hand. My very nice hand. (Because some things you must experience for yourself.)

Notice how she has that lyric » "I'm not someone I'm supposed to be." .. which sounds a lot like » "Can I just be myself with this girl? Or does she need me to be somebody else?"

I touch on this thing from a different perspective with Jude.

Because, in my relationships, at that particular time in my life, if a girl needed me to be someone else (other than myself), then it wasnt going to work for me. (And it didnt .. which disappointed me, but did not really surprise me.)

She is 23, like you. I should give her my Fitzgerald and Einstein speech. To help set her sights beyond the possible.

What is it with these young girls speaking to me? I kind of like it. More than just kind of, actually. (Even tho sometimes I am a big pussy.)

Have you noticed how she keeps working her way into my writing? (How is she doing that?)

At the end, all the dancers disappear and the stage goes dark and the voice has that distortion added. I dont think I've ever seen anything like that before. That is a cool effect.

For me, that triggers the anticipation of intimacy. Because I am really a one-on-one type of guy. I can do and say things when we are alone that I cant when others are present.

» Secret Lyrics Speak Intimate Things in the Dark

I couldnt help but notice .. that the part where the stage goes dark (t=3:36) and where all the back-up dancers disappear .. these lyrics are not found in the official lyrics page. Like they were added later.

Come to me.
I dont want to be the one you need.
I just want to be the one you see.
Every now and then.

Come to me .. nice lyrics.

Guys hear stuff like this and they are hypnotized .. because this speaks of a confident, strong woman.

It speaks many other things, too .. but I probably shouldnt go there. (I can feel the danger.)

What guy does not want to keep her company every now-n-then? Short list there. Heck, I bet there's even a bunch of women who would jump at the chance. I'm pretty sure of it.

Oh, look .. here she says that she hates the song, and isnt feeling the lyrics at all. So maybe these types of non-traditional relationships are really romantic unicorns .. they exist only in the imagination.

» Bebe's Beautiful Imagery

Speaking of nice lyrics and being alone with a girl in the dark .. Bebe dropped a new video today also. It is trending even higher.

Very nicely done. Images speak, dont they?

I loved her imagery. I might have to grab some of those. Such as this one:

[ This is the kind of shit right here that sends a caveman into a frenzy. ]

She's the monster girl .. that makes her special. Very special. "How special?" you ask? I'm not telling you all my secrets. I'm saving some for later.

She has a lyric » "Lookin' like you need it." I said to her, "Is it that obvious?"

[ Look at this shot composition. Look at their color palette. Look at all the contrasts. Hard/soft, rough/smooth, dry/moist. Somebody knows what they're doing. Something in me very much appreciates such artistic composition. ]

She has genuine creative talent. This is a very nice video. I would be proud to put my name on that.

[ You can barely see from this shrunken image that I captured here .. but Venus sits just above her head, slightly to your left. I set that there on purpose .. its relation to her was my deciding factor in where exactly to capture the image. I'm not even sure why I did that .. but I know that it felt right when I did. Sky, planet, Bebe, ground .. that was the line I was looking for. Now I am talking crazy stuff. Sometimes I find myself looking a little deeper. ]

Oh, look .. the name of her album is » All Your Fault. ( I hear this a lot, girly. There must be a sign hanging on my back, saying, "Blame Me." )

I will have to set aside some time to explore her lyrics. She has one track titled Naughty .. I couldnt help but notice.

I must really have a thing for singers.

» What Kind of Relationship Can You Super-Illuminati Girls Really have with a Guy?

Regarding the challenges associated finding a relationship that will work for you .. I know that you feel me here, girly .. because, being an international popstar .. with commitments galore and a grueling schedule to go with them ..

.. what kind of relationship are you really going to be able to have with a guy?

I dont know .. but I know that it aint gonna be the usual thing. That's for sure.

And I know that you're going to need a strong guy .. who is secure and confident in himself.

[ I know that there are really three of you, girly .. being an Illuminati Ninja Princess and whatnot. But there must be plenty of times when all three of your asses are dragging. ]

I am very curious, by the way, as to your sense of the expectations on you. How can they they not feel enormous?

Professional and artistic expectations are one thing .. but relationship expectations are another.

You must be very deep into such things .. I would imagine.

You said that you wanted to fall in deep .. didnt you? Deep .. now there's something that I happen to know a little something about.

More than just a little, actually.

Girly, notice here how I take your own words and turn them back on you. That is a special type of writing thing.

"How special?" you ask?

Wouldnt you like to know, girly.

Have you noticed that I have a good memory?

[ I have long made use of this ancient memory system. It works like magic. I learned about it from this dude.

He handed me a pad of paper and a pen told me to tell him 20 things, 20 nouns. Random shit.

I tried to come up with the most unrelated bizarre stuff, such as kangeroo and heroin and beach ball and frisbee.

Then he repeated them back to me on the spot. I was totally impressed.

He taught me how to do it and gave me the book that he read about it.

There is a location-based method and then there is a sequencing method. Each has its strengths for different objectives. But both make strong use of imagination.

Today we have hard drives and cell phones and the Internet and Wikipedia and search engines. But back in the day, a good memory went a long way. ]

My brother said to me once, talking about himself, "I remember pretty much everything I hear." He was not bragging.

» Touching the Soul Behind the Sparkle-Dazzle

If you are anything like me, Ariana .. then this is the thing that you want and you need and you crave and you desire.

[ Girly, look how I went back here to your Vevo Presents performance of Dangerous Woman on May 19th in New York .. where you sing about introducing us to a new thing. Normally I would not do such a thing. But we dont want to become too predictable with our lover. Sure, we want to feel that we our in a stable, loving relationship .. but we dont want to become too predictable. Am I breaking unspoke rules by going back and capturing this image? There is only one rule, girly .. you know. I confess that I thought of you here when I set the heading of touching the soul behind the dazzle. Can you see why this image here would speak to me? You are a dazzling creature, girly. No doubt about it. You look so good here. Wow. I like pink .. specially on girly-girls like you. I like pretty much everything that you wear. I like everything about you. What do you think this might mean? Are you hypnotizing me with your Illuminati mojo? It feels that way, at times. Such as when I was watching that video. ]

» How Much of Your Image is You?

Speaking of your considerable sparkle-dazzle .. and speaking of connecting with the soul behind that sparkle-dazzle ....

[ Girly, you dont want to know what happened to the last girl that did something like this to me. It was not pretty. The ugliness went on for quite some time. I should not have let that renter's policy from State Farm expire. It was costing me only $88/yr. Live-n-learn, eh? ]

Girly, one of the things that I keep finding myself wondering about .. is how much of your image is due to you .. and how much is the result of others.

I mean, you obviously have these very creative and enormously talented people who are tapped and tasked with designing and creating these videos that go with your songs. And your live performances, too. And other stuff.

[ Which have hundreds of millions of views. You cannot possibly know how big of a number this is. ]

And I am sure that you will have some creative input in the process. But I am not sure how much of your public image is you, and how much of it is from others.

Global connectivity is a relatively new thing, in our recent history. So, many things in this area are still being defined and developed.

The avant garde figures it out as they go. (You know.)

» Speaking to the Sparkle without Becoming Dazzled

I am not sure how it reads .. but this section here on the dazzle effect is a special type of writing.  Tho I would sound like a nut-case if I told you any more. But perhaps you can sense it.

This is why I could easily lift out this section here on the dazzle effect and transfer it to its own page.

I can see here .. that this page on your truly awesome wailing in Boston (Dec 11, 2016) is where this section on the dazzle effect should spring from. Because I was dazzled, girly .. very much dazzled. ( "Which way is up?" )

Whether it remains here or gets moved to its own page remains to be seen.

That page first yielded another page titled » What Makes a Love-Story Convincing? (Christmas day, 2016)

[ Update Jan 6, 2017 » This is now done. I have lifted out the section on the sparkle-dazzle and given it its own page, which you are now reading. Tho I framed it within the context of connecting with the soul behind it. I thought that was very clever of me. What's more important? .. the dazzle? Or the soul behind it? See my point? I am such a great writer that I can hardly stand it sometimes. ]

» Fergie is Next

[ I think Fergie is going to be the next one to get her own page. I have been resisting that mightily, but the Fergie forces are proving too strong.

She is a singer from California. I like singers from California. I like them a lot. I have a thing for singers from California.

I can see the rabbit hole risks associated with writing about Fergie, so I proceed with caution.

When something speaks to you, it's hard not to listen. Especially when it's coming from somebody like Fergie.

I should have exercised more caution with you, too, girly .. I had no idea that you were such a force. Live-n-learn, eh?

Okay, this is now done, as of Jan 1, 2017 .. first new page of the new year » The Madness of Fergie's Beautiful Life.

(Happy New Year, Fergie.)

I must really have a thing for singers. What a disadvantage this puts me at. ]

Sometimes I think that this is why you sang that song, Dangerous Woman .. because you read my writing and you recognized things there that spoke to you .. because you were familiar with them yourself.

You said, "Oh, I know exactly what this guy is talking about here. I can speak to this. Watch me speak to this. He will hear what I have to say. This is going to be so much fun. He has never seen anything the likes of me before."

But, if you hadnt been so bold .. none of this would have ever happened. This is sort of what I mean when I say that it's all your fault.

I can feel that I am not so much dazzled by your dazzle factor, which is admittedly substantial .. but I am indeed cautious of your celebrity factor .. tho I am not entirely sure why.

These two areas share much overlap. But they are actually two separate things. Your dazzle factor and your celebrity.

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