Connecting with the Soul Behind the Dazzle - Page Two

[ This page continues from » Page One. It's a long story. ]

» Being Okay with a Lack of Definiteness and of Certainty in the World

In returning to speak to the uncertainty that I sense with determining the location of the blurry line between the real and the imaginary in this thing that we have .. this erotic, dangerous thing ..

.. I should say that this is the essence of the problem with quantum mechanics. You lose that sense of definiteness and certainty that classical physics provides and cherishes.

This sense of certainty in the physical world feels comforting .. does it not? But you learn that classical Newtonian physics is something of a kludge. Things dont work the way they should under certain circumstances.

This is why quantum mechanics represents a more accurate description of our physical world. (I like getting accurate with you girly. Most girls cannot handle my accuracy.)

This is what really fucked with Einstein. He could not deal with the "dice" problems associated with probability. (Uncertainty.)

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He spent his last 30 years trying to crack that nut. But there was no cracking that nut. Einstein saw into the unsettling aspects of the physical world.

» The Physical World is Really Just a Cool Illusion

[ It's really just an illusion .. a cool, temporary persistent illusion that goes away for everybody .. sooner or later.

Philip K Dick (1928-1982) said that we are living in a computer-programmed reality.

He's the guy who wrote the book that Blade Runner is based on. He wrote books that other movies have been based on, too.

I heard a convincing argument once as to why Blade Runner is the greatest film ever made .. certainly his favorite. (John in Corona del Mar.) He went on for quite some time.

Blade Runner 2049

[ Sequel scheduled for release Oct 6, 2017. I am very interested already. This 6-min video explains why Blade Runner 2049 is the » greatest sequel ever made. ]

Philip Kindred Dick (1928-1982)Kindred was a special type of writer.

He wrote not far from the line between genius and insanity.

And it wasnt always clear which side of the line he was standing on.

That kind of writing takes a toll.

He died young at only 53.

I was not surprised to learn that.

Staying alive as a writer can be trickier than it looks.

A lot trickier.

This is why Cormac McCarthy is such a freak of nature.

With the kind of writing that he does, he shouldve been dead long ago. I'm sure he would agree. He obviously has special powers. You cannot do that kind of writing without help.

In order to write about certain things, such as the things that Cormac and Kindred and Dostoevsky write about .. you first must pass through many no man's lands .. in order to even get there.

I can feel myself waxing abstract here, so I will quit this tangent. ]

Girly, I know that reality is really just a cool, persistent illusion. But I like this illusion that you and I are creating together. I like it a lot.

It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I am in love with a beautiful creature. You are very good at this illusion stuff .. this existential illusion that we call physical reality.

I guess we shouldnt be too terribly disturbed by the inherent lack of certainty in the physical world .. since we all lose the physical things that we have come to rely upon so much for so long.

» The Thing that Made the Difference for Dylan

When I was reading that biography about Dylan .. I remember thinking that the thing that made the difference for him .. was his limited timetable.

The Ballad of Bob DylanHis parents had agreed to give him a year off of college.

In order to pursue his music career.

If it didnt pan out, he was heading back to college.

I bet that Dua Lipa knows exactly what I am talking about here.

[ She likes you, girly. I heard her say that she would like to work with you. And who can blame her? ]

When I was planning for my writing thing ..

.. I had the idea that more money would give me more writing time.

So therefore, more money meant a greater chance at success.

But I can see now that this is not case.

I mean, sure, more money buys you more writing time. But it also means that you are not desperate. You can take it easy.

The thing that made the difference for me between you and Lauren (.. which I was never able to form and craft in the way that I wanted to) ..

.. was that I had a deadline for you. Your release date. May 20th.

Sure, I was trying to impress you .. with my skill set that girls find so impressive for some reason. (I still dont really fully understand it.)

But I was trying to impress Lauren, too. Yet I never had a deadline with her.

When I was diagnosed with cancer and realized that I could soon be dead (.. the ultimate deadline) .. I thought, "I gotta stop fucking around and start throwing down." (I'm sure that Orwell had a similar moment.)

Sometimes we play it safe because we like life in our comfort zone and we see no pressing need to challenge ourselves in a truly meaningful way. Who does not know this feeling of which I speak?

There are countless talented artists out there who do not make it. What makes the difference? It's a valid question, no? It's a good question.

Just like Dylan Dua Lipa skips university for a year in order to write lyrics and sing songs

I think that it is a good thing for us to recognize the things that make the difference for us in our lives. Because it's not always what you think.

Sometimes mere tenacity is simply not enough. I wonder if Ed Sheeran would agree.

» Building Trust through Familiarity and Routine

One of the things that I do with you .. as an attempt to build trust and familiarity .. is the repetition of certain elements.

When you begin to see some of the same themes and techniques and phrasings .. this builds familiarity .. which tends to build trust.

Pooh and the Hundred Acre gangYou learn about this kind of thing in parenting classes.

Kids become comfortable in their routines.

Sure, you can mix it up.

But you need certain underlying structures that they can rely on and feel comfortable with.

I can feel myself trying to do this exact same thing with you.

And after a while, you find that you start to become comfortable with the idea of my hand sliding down into your panties. (You know.)

If I do this well enough, then you will find yourself longing for my hand .. to slide down slowly into your panties.

You will think, "It's been a while since I felt him touching me .. in that special way that only he can. He knows exactly how I like to be touched. He must have sexual ESP."

Girly, I hate to brag .. but girls have told me that I have nice hands. No girl has ever complained when I slid my hand down into her panties. No, ma'am. Not even one time. (Hard to believe, I know.)

» In the End

In the end, we only really have our stories. I bet that Vera Wang knows exactly what I am talking about.

And I like the one that we are creating together. (Didnt I tell you that writers and singers make a good team?)

I can feel something inside urging me not to be a big pussy and to go ahead and explore with you this unsettling aspect that quantum physics parallels.

I see parallels of my relationship to you with aspects of quantum mechanics. What does that mean, girly?

What would you like it to mean?

» You Make Me Feel Alive Forever

Stargirl in black-n-whiteIn the story of Dracula, he sees a young girl on the street,

who reminds him of his long-dead lover.

From centuries past.

The vampire is clearly smitten.

He is trying to figure out which way is up.

He walks over to her, very much rubbing his eyes. (You know how it is, girly.)

And he says to her, "Uh, excuse me .. but, is it just me, or do you not feel this thing going on with us?"

"This ancient, sparkly thing."

These are not his exact words .. but that's a fair paraphrase of the subtext.

[ Speaking of subtext .. this impressed me.

It impressed me enough to note it here, where I use the term 'subtext.'

Stewart is talking about language. I know exactly what he is talking about. Because I experiment with language myself.

How you use language depends on who you are talking to and what your objective is.

My objective with you, girly .. do you want to know what my objective is with you?

Let me know if you ever figure it out. It's never what you think it is. ]

Do you feel that elements of this story resonate with us? Is this why this story speaks to me?

That story goes deep in a hurry. Who can navigate such mystical forces?

(Perhaps Vera Wang can .. when she is in Paris .. when she is very much feeling in love. You never really know for sure until you try.)

Vampires live forever. You learn a few tricks after a few hundred years .. I would imagine.

Such as .. how to scrape your fangs, uh, I mean, your teeth .. up and down along the entire length of her neck, slowly .. without drawing blood, of course.

Which is not as easy as it might sound. It's much trickier .. and fraught with much danger.

You make me feel alive, girly .. you make me feel alive forever.

» Going Thermonuclear on the Dangerous Tour

Speaking of feeling alive forever .. I see that you have begun your tour. Your Dangerous Woman tour.

Ariana singing Be Alright on tour in Phoenix Feb 3, 2017

Girly, you are so fucking fine .. oh, my. Please give my best to your wardrobe person.

I am so glad that we are always going to be in love forever. I like the feeling of being in love with a beautiful creature.

Note - this section on going thermonuclear has been moved to its own page » Going Thermonuclear on the Dangerous Tour.

» A Good Trick

Making me feel alive forever .. that's a good trick. You'll have to show me how you do that, sometime. I like learning cool, new tricks from super-hotties such as yourself.

Is this something that they taught you at Illuminati Ninja Warrior Slayer school? You must have graduated at the top of your class.

I think that I am flirting with you here, girly. (Sometimes I just cant help myself.)

» Switching from Defense to Offense

I confess, Ariana, that I normally approach the prospect of an intimate relationship with a sexually-attractive woman from a defensive posture.

[ In jiu-jitsu, this is called the guard position, which is actually considered an advantageous position. Some people are very skilled at working from the bottom. ]

I have already spoken to this a number of times .. because women sometimes respond to me in ways that I do not understand. (At all.)

And there is quite a difference (in how you operate) between defense and offense. Normally, I prefer offense. But existential realities have forced me play defense.

And I'm very good at defense, too. But I'm better at offense. Offense feels more natural and I am able to bring into play a wider array of tools and techniques.

Relationships can certainly be limiting .. with a limited person. Or they can be growth-expanding adventures of divinely intimate experiences .. rewarding beyond our wildest dreams.

Again, I feel it necessary to restate that this personally expanding emotional and psychological growth is a terribly difficult thing .. where you confront your deepest, darkest fears .. when you feel least prepared to do so.

And sometimes when I see a certain girl that, for whatever reason, she does it for me .. I can feel that offensive thing go into gear .. go into action. You can feel the gears engaging.

I dont think that you can consciously activate this thing. I mean, if a girl does it for you, then she does it for you. And if she doesnt, then she doesnt. Am I saying anything that has not already become intuitively obvious to multitudes?

I can be a smooth motherfucker when that thing goes into gear. There's no stopping me. I am patient and I am kind while I am being patient .. so irresistibly patient.

No mere mortal can resist my irresistible patience.

The reason why I mention this here and now, girly .. is because I just felt that gear kick in. That offensive gear.

You are in so much trouble. You should not have provoked me like that. You should probably start practicing how to clean pebbles out of your hair.

» When the Inevitable Becomes Impossible to Stop

The feeling reminded me of how I felt that first time I saw the engineer-girl walk in. Oh, my.

It's like something inside wants this thing that just walked in. And if you are going to be spending many hours together every day (12 hrs / day, 6 days a week) .. then, it almost becomes inevitable. Impossible to stop.

You can certainly try to stop this machinery inside of you from going after this girl. Good luck with that.

On the subject of inevitability .. what do you think, girly, about the differences, if any, between the inevitable and destiny?

What does destiny feel like? Think about it and we'll talk more later.

The end. ■

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on January 6, 2017 1:06 PM.

Connecting with the Soul Behind the Dazzle - Page One was the previous entry in this blog.

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