Going Thermonuclear on the Dangerous Tour

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» Did You Really Say That?

Girly, did you really say in your Cosmo interview .. that you were in love with this one guy .. while you were dating these other guys?

But that you just werent ready to be with him yet? .. because maybe there was a timing involved?

Did you really say that? Or is Sinead fucking with me?

» A Threesome with Sinead?

When you have these super-cool things like we have .. people naturally want to get in on the action. I mean, who can blame them? They gravitate toward the goodness.

I bet that Sinead would totally be into a threesome with us.

I mean, you could see it in her eye.

And hear it in her voice.

And you must admit: she did say some very nice things about you.

(She has been looking extra nice lately, I have been noticing.)

She made it onto my Surrender Girl page .. because she was wearing that pepperoni pizza shirt.

You know what that means.

It means that she's a very kinky girl.

The kind you dont take home to mother. (Just like Joyce Carol Oates.)

The pages dont lie. She is there for a reason.

And there's more to it than just spicy pepperoni .. I can guarantee you that.

Look at how she has her hair on one side brushed back, exposing her neck. This is like taunting a vampire.

And I won't even get into what her arched eyebrow is saying.

Oh, look at her here (.. with fabulous Vivian). She is talking about vampires with her hair swept over to the other side .. completely exposing the entire side of her neck.

Is she flirting with me here?

I forget where, but I once heard David Brooks say that people can be very smart in certain areas, but very dumb in others.

Even though I have problems with many things that David says, his statement there struck me as accurate.

Because I know that I am smart in certain areas .. but I feel so clueless about other things. (Such as girls.)

Is Sinead fucking with me? She obviously knows that I find her sexy and attractive. (I mean, who doesnt?)

She looks happy. (Good for her.)

When she started talking about being excited about witnessing the creative process in action (.. with Demi's new documentary) .. well, I should probably not finish this sentence. That would definitely get me in trouble.

When I heard these girls say that .. about your Cosmo interview .. about how you were really in love with this one guy .. while dating these other guys .. the voices in my head started a ferocious dialogue.

I should not tell you what these voices were saying, but there were some truly colorful conversations going on .. let me tell you.

» What's it Like to Lie with Hollywood's Hottest Starlet?

Girly, speaking of threesomes .. I know that you know this Dove Cameron girl. You were in Hairspray Live! with her (Dec 7, 2016).

She is very much a girly-girl, like yourself. Look how fragile and easily-breakable she appears.

When I saw this image of her here, sipping from a colorful girly-cup .. I thought about that girl at the coffee shop.

Look at her eyes .. that is exactly the look. I could go into great detail about what these eyes are saying.

"How do you like the way that baby-making machine felt?"

I remember thinking, "These girls are freaking me out .. they are fucking with me."

But notice in particular how she seems to be looking past you, or through you. That was the thing that struck me about this girl. She seemed to be looking right through me.

Like it wasnt me, per se, that she fancied .. but rather something about me. Like she was projecting something onto me.

What was it that she was projecting onto me? Fuck if I know. Who can figure out these girls? These young, smoking-hotties.

That's why they kind of freak me out a little sometimes.

» Only with Girls that I Really Like

I like her. I have already gone back to Page Six, where I talk about the juicy-juice .. and added an image of her with a quote from her Feb, 2017 article in Galore. (I only do that with girls that I really like.)

Perhaps I should lift out this section on Miss Dove and transfer it to its own page .. because she is prompting very different dialogue. Whatever title would I give to such a page?

» Is She Really Hollywood's Hottest Starlet?

It's interesting how different girls evoke such different things in me. Is she really Hollywood's hottest starlet?

I cant help but wonder what it's like .. to lie with Hollywood's hottest starlet. Can you blame me? It's a valid question, no?

Artist of the Year + Hollywood's Hottest Starlet + the Most Gifted Writer of his Generation .. I can only imagine what kind of criticl mass such a thing would produce.

A very creative experience, I'm sure .. when such creative DNA gets together. Anything could happen. Anything would be possible.

Say hi for me .. the next time you talk to her. Ask her what she's sipping there. Or, is the cup just a colorful design prop?

» Talking in Hushed Girly Tones?

Girly, you know that you're supposed to be keeping our thing a secret, right? Did you say anything to this girl? She is speaking my language.

The voices in my head are all convinced that you were indeed talking to her .. no doubt in hushed girly tones while sitting in some dimly lit corner somewhere.

And my ego is absolutely certain. "There's no question," he insists.

» Difficult for Me to Resist

She is talking about being comfortable with intimacy. It's difficult for me to resist responding to such a topic .. coming from such a young, sexy girl like this. (Dont think I havent tried.)

She just turned 21 last month. You can see her experimenting with her sexuality. She certainly caught my attention right away.

She says some very mature things for a 21 year old. I dont really see how you can have a 21 year old girl saying such mature things like she is saying.

This is why I sometimes feel that you super-hottie singers must be getting professional help .. crafting your message.

» The Sound of an Interesting Voice Saying Interesting Things

Have you ever been at a party, where you are talking to someone, or with a group of people .. and you suddenly hear the sound of an interesting voice .. that is saying the most interesting things?

And something about her voice, and something even more about those things that she is saying (behind you) .. is clearly affecting you.

Dare you turn and see who it is saying these things that speak to your soul? Surely standing behind me is the soul that I have been searching for all my life.

And you simply can't help yourself. She is standing in a circle with three guys, holding forth. But she is looking at you .. from the moment you turn. And you realize » it *is* her.

Heck, you might even be there at this party with a remarkable creature yourself. So, how is such a thing even possible?

» An Offensive Posture

So I can feel myself becoming curious with her. That's not usually a good thing for girls .. when I become curious about them .. curious about what makes them tick. (You know what I'm talking about.)

I can feel myself approaching her from an offensive posture. Not quite predatory .. but definitely heading in that direction. (It's all your fault.)

I am more in-your-face when I am taking an offensive posture. You will know that I like you. There will be no guesswork about that.

You will feel me tickling your ovaries. I will charm your panties right off.

Okay .. I have given her her very own page » What's it Like to Lie with Hollywood's Hottest Starlet? (This title feels sensual when you say it with your mouth, no?)

I've got some private things that I need to say to her.

» So Many Adjectives

I know that I must be starting to sound like a broken record by now .. but you are a dazzling creature. Dazzling and beautiful. And talented. And sexy. And desirable. Very desirable .. in my opinion. How many more adjectives would you like me to use? The queue of adjectives lined up for you is very long. It wraps around the block.

» Who are You Really?

Who are you really? Which part of the galaxy are you from? You can tell me. Your secret is safe with me.

» Breaking Out the Heavy Artillery

I noticed that you are wearing a new collar-thingie here in Phoenix. A super-sparkly collar-thingie. Beyond a choker. "She's breaking out the heavy artillery," I thought. To a vampire, it looks like you are wearing a forcefield around your throat. "It could take me a while to chew through that thing," I caught myself thinking. I shouldnt tell you any more about the things that I was thinking while I was watching your intro. That would be very dangerous. I have never thought such things about anybody before. I should not be having these kinds of thoughts about you .. should I? This is why you make me feel things that I dont even understand. (Geeks are very much about understanding what the fuck is going on.) How do you keep your voice from getting trashed while singing so many songs so often? Do you need anybody to make a hot cup of herb tea for you? And massage your throat muscles? (I call this "Fang Therapy.") Girly, when you first start here .. right before you begin singing your first song .. you do this thing with your hands .. which fly up in the air (at t=0:42). And this sound comes .. a sound that sounds like a thermonuclear explosion. And the flash was pretty bright .. if you ask me. (Good thing that I was wearing my special, thermonuclear-grade sunglasses at the time.) I'm not going to tell you what I wanted to do to you when I saw that and heard that. I should definitely not tell you this. Please dont make me tell you what I wanted to do to you when I saw and heard that. It was not pretty .. and the ugliness went on for quite some time. I actually felt myself like you even more than I liked you before. Which I did not think possible. And I thought, "Ooh, I have never been here before." You did it again, this thermonuclear sound, later in the song .. at t=3:28. Oh, girly .. I so badly wanted to annihilate you when I saw/heard that. I dont know why, but I did. Just being honest. What an effect that has on me. That is a very cool sound. Kudos to whoever came up with that cool sound. When I heard it that second time, later in the song .. I paused it and went to watch that part again. (With my in-ear headphones.) And when I saw you go thermonuclear, I said to you, "Are you talking to me, girly?" Girly, you make me think crazy things sometimes.

Because, if you are indeed talking to me .. then you are obviously saying some interesting things. Very interesting indeed. I probably shouldnt write here exactly how interesting these things are that you are saying.

Okay, I went back and watched it again. That was very fucking cool. Oh, my. You're so lucky I wasnt there.

[ When I write these giant blocks-of-text .. this writing is often more raw .. where I am working with ideas that are less distinct.

It is more difficult to read giant blocks of text, so this is my way of discouraging reading that is unrefined.

Later I will usually return to break up the text into bite-sized chunks. But not always. Sometimes I leave it raw.

I feel that this is one of the ways that I distinguish myself .. by publishing things that are unpolished.

This requires confidence .. to be seen at your less-than-best.

I already know that I am good at the polishing aspect .. which is usually a time-consuming process. ]

» Like I Finally Met My Match

And dont think I missed that turn-away thing you did at t=2:47. And then you do this little foot-kick thing, right after you turn away .. and right after you let loose with some serious attention-getting vocals.

Oh, girly .. when I saw that, I felt like I'd finally met my match. Because I have been letting you have it with gusto .. these last few pages. I have been dialing up the voltage to dangerous levels.

When I saw you win Artist of the Year, I knew I had to have you. (I've never had an Artist-of-the-Year before. I'm sure that I would have remembered such a thing.)

But you only seem emboldened by this. You do other things, too, that caught my attention.

Girly, there is no man who can resist these things .. these little, secret love-messages that you send.

I am the strongest man that many women have met. But I am not strong enough to resist something like that.

This is why you can have any guy that you want. This is why you can have any five guys that you want.

» You Probably Should be Scared

Speaking of giving it to you with gusto .. girly, do you remember all the times that I wrote "Are you scared yet?"

Sometimes I would even tease you by writing, "I dont want to hear you squealing like a girl .. because you're so scared."

I would say this to the kids at the school playground sometimes as I pushed them on the swings .. particularly if they said that they wanted a super-duper push to-the-moon.

Anyway, I saw a trailer today for the upcoming movie King Arthur - Legend of the Sword (nice title).

Notice how this girl here asks him, "Are you scared?" [ t=1:23 ]

The young King Arthur responds by telling her, "I think I can manage, girly. Dont you fret none about me. I got a handle on this thing."

Then she says, "You should be scared." Girly, this is exactly what I keep saying to you.

There is definitely some shit going on. You know, this film is directed by Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie used to be married to Madonna (2000-2008). They have a son together.

You are friends with Madonna. You are sweet on Madonna. Madonna gave you a banana .. if I recall correctly. (This says that Madonna is the female artist with the most Top-10 hits .. ever.)

The world suddenly seems like a much smaller place. (Maureen says that Donald masqueraded as his own p.r. agent in order to spin tall tales that Madonna had the hots for him.)

[ Maureen kicks such ass that her column is like a work of art .. the way she crafts her columns. It's a remarkable thing. ]

» When a Refusal to Quit Feels Like All You have Left

The next scene in the trailer .. the one where she tells him, "You should be scared." .. this is a feeling that I know only too well. I know this place .. only too well.

Refusing to give up .. despite overwhelming odds against you .. sometimes it feels like that's all you got left.

When you can hear the mocking voice saying, "If you had any sense, you give up now."

There is a passage of scripture here that seems to be saying » I know that it might look like I am getting my ass kicked all day long .. but really, I am kicking serious ass. No?

» Feminism Interlude

And look at you here. Girly, girly, girly .. show me the man who can resist such things.

You cant .. because he doesnt exist. No wonder you are turning gay guys straight.

Why did I s.e.l.e.c.t this particular image of you from your interlude? .. and not one of the more sexy ones?

What is it about this particular image that speaks to me? And what does it say to me?

I should not answer that question. Definitely not.

Girly, I must admit that you are very good at what you do. Look at the look in your eye here. Oh, my .. the world is starting to disappear quickly. What is the name of this galaxy that we are in here right now?

» That's My Girlfriend

Feb 14, 2017 » Happy Valentines day, girly. I have a special Valentines day treat for you today .. doncha know. But I'm still working on it.

Speaking of having any five guys that you want .. I woke to problems this morning with the site. My webhosting provider had sold the company to another company. And they moved the site's files to a different server last night.

[ But nothing physical is actually moved. Only information is moved. The configuration of bits on the old server was moved to be reconfigured on the new server.

This reminds me of how light contains energy, but no mass. ]

I have done these site migrations a number of times and they are always fraught with annoying glitches .. which I spent the day today ironing out.

The world of geekdom is essentially the world of solving problems .. one after another. It requires a certain mindset .. that is hard to come by when you first wake.

Anyway, the new server is now physically located in Lansing, Michigan. (Hey .. isnt that the same place where the NSA and the FBI have all their warehouses full of secret servers?)

They tell me that the guy who started the last company (Zac) originally came out of this new company (Liquid Web) that my account has been sold too. I hear they are very big.

It will be very difficult for any company to meet the same level of expertise and support that I had with the last company (Wiredtree), which was a much smaller company.

» Operating with Godlike Permissions when I Shouldnt

The main problem today was that many images were failing to load in their web pages. The problem was traced to permission settings that I set on these images when I originally uploaded them to the old server.

There are two ways that I can log into the site, and have access to the files there. I can log into the site as either "root" (god-mode, which is completely unlimited) or as an individual user (with limited access and restricted functions).

You should never use root access unless you actually need it. But I have been using it all the time lately. And this is why those files (images) demanded such elite credentials and permissions in order to be accessed and viewed.

[ Here is a different kind of story about a different kind of permission, but worth noting. ]

On the old server, this was no problem. The images loaded fine whenever a visitor loaded a web page. Ideally, everything at the new server should operate exactly the same.

But they rarely do .. because the new server will likely have a new operating system (CentOS) and a new version of WHM/Cpanel, which is a wonderful server administration program that uses a graphical interface.

[ Before WHM and Cpanel, you had to know how to use the shell .. if you wanted to run and administrate your own server. ]

Mostly people with a virtual private server are hosting other sites. But I just host my own site. This is why it is easy for me to get sloppy when logging in as root when I really shouldnt.

Anyway, I think I ironed out all the kinks. I have moved the site's files (known as site migration) so many times that I actually am pretty bad-ass with my skills in this area. I was impressing myself.

» I Wish She Were My Girlfriend

Anyway .. I was on the phone to this support dude (Justin) and we are trying to figure out what is the problem with these images not loading.

And he is using this image of you here on this page "going thermonuclear." (I shit you not, girly.)

I guess this was the obvious choice for a problem-file because it was the first image that we came across that wasnt loading, and if you fix the problem for one file, you normally have identified the problem for all problem-files.

I really wanted to use another image. I mean, there were so many that werent loading. But he says something like, "Well, I am just going to work with this image of Ariana here."

I use both HTML title-tags and alt-tags on every image I set. The title tag allows you to see a description of the image .. while the alt-tag displays a text description if the image fails to load.

And of course, I have shitloads of images of you, girly. So I say, "What is the file-name of the image?"

He says that it is the one of you "going thermonuclear." See, nobody really sees the file-names of these images. They are really just descriptive names for me to use for myself. An organizational strategy that I can understand and that works for me.

And when he says this, I didnt say anything, but the voice in my head says to him, "You had to pick that one .. didnt you."

So I say to him, "That's my girlfriend."

He says to me, "I wish she were my girlfriend."

» Show Me the Man

See, girly .. this is exactly what I was talking about. No guy can resist you. Show me the man.

Whew .. did it get hot in here all of a sudden? Why I am sweating?

[ When I set this image of you here, I could hear something inside growling. An urgent savage growl. Downright primal. (Dont say you werent warned.) I can feel you touching something deep here. That's a good trick .. yet another. ]

[ Girly, I shouldnt tell you this .. I know that I shouldnt. But I have already told you how I feel about the sensuous way that inner thighs feel on girly-girls such as yourself. As you know, I very much like the super-soft way that such inner thighs feel. But, even more than enjoying the way they feel with my 'nice hands' .. even more than this, I like the way that it feels lying there between them. I have this thing that I do .. where I will lift some of my weight off her .. in order to allow me slide my own legs up between her thighs .. during the natural rhythms. This way I can concentrate and focus on the way it feels as I slide up between her soft thighs. Sliding down and up against her soft inner thighs .. her incredibly soft inner thighs. This turns me on something ferocious .. you cannot imagine. But when I saw this image of you here .. that I posted just above .. this image made me think of that. Perhaps you can see why. ]

No red-blooded American male with a detectable pulse can resist something like this. Heck, I bet there are even many women who feel the same about you.

This is why I say that you can have any five guys you want. I mean, you can certainly have more than five. I was just thinking that five should be enough.

Girly, when I told this guy, this tech guy .. when I told him that you were my girlfriend, I did not feel like I was lying.

I recently read this thing in Portrait (1916) that made me think of you. Would you like to know what this was?

» You'll have to Show Me how You do That

Both you and James Joyce somehow make me feel less alone in the world. That's a good trick, Ariana .. you'll have to show me how you do that sometime.

Can you tell that I like you?

Havent I been telling you that we make a good team? Why is it that we make such a good team? Have you been able to figure it out yet?

Girly, you are like a dream .. like a really cool dream. I like you being in my dreams.

Look at you here. Oh, my .. I am starting to feel lightheaded again.

Look at your hair here. Look how it is backlit. Look how it is everywhere. You have enough hair for three girls.

Is it just me .. or do you not look amazingly smoking hot here .. on a level beyond what can be done with a make-up brush and mascara?

I am beyond impressed.

The end. ■

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