[ This entry originated here » Girls Who Inspire You to Up Your Game (Dec 10, 2017). ]
» Looking for an Honest Relationship with an Honest Soul
I like this song so much that I am going to tell you what I said to the Bug's mom on the beach that first time that I met her. (Before she was the Bug's mom.)
I have hinted at this for a long time, but never came right out and shared exactly what I said .. because this opens doors to other places.
» Strong Bonding Experiences
[ For example, I can already see now that sharing this story opens the door to the single-most bonding experience with my son's mom .. which came on the day that we moved in together .. after only a matter of weeks. Maybe 6 weeks. Daring shit, for sure. This day just so happened to be New Year's day .. as coincidence would have it. So everything was feeling fresh-n-new. A new girl. A new place. A new year. So much was suddenly new. This is a good story .. this bonding story. Remind me to tell you about it. I am just teasing here .. I am not really going to tell this story. But it is an interesting and curious story. A lot of things happened that day .. but one thing in particular. It was a very bonding thing .. yet obviously, not enough. But these super bonding experiences give you a deep sense of simpatico with this person .. because you have been through somewhat traumatic experiences together. Ariana knows what I am talking about here. ]
Sometimes, I have noticed in my writing, that I can't say a thing .. before I say another thing. It's actually a little frustarting sometimes.
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See .. I was very much living the life of the artist at that moment.
So I said to her, "I'm not looking for a romantic relationship right now. I am focused on developing my writing skills. But I would love to make a good friend .. who will just be honest with me and who I can have a genuine relationship with."
I dont recall if I said these exact words to her, but that is definitely the gist of my thing that I shared with her.
When you are writing, a superficial relationship does not work. .. because you are already at a deep place yourself.
At that point in my life, I was tired of girls who just told me what they thought that I wanted to hear .. and who agreed with everything I said.
It wasnt the agreement itself that turned me off, but rather the sense that I was not really making contact with this human being. It's not an easy thing to describe, but I think that you might be able to feel me here.
» A Genuine Soul-Connection Without the Drama of Romance
A part of me was craving a certain type of connection with another noble soul. A genuine connection. But without the distracting drama that can invade romantic relationships.
[ For some reason, I make some girls crazy. I dont try to. The Dog says that this is because I am so stable .. that I naturally attract girls who are craving stability, which includes unstable girls. Few people know me as well. ]
Because I do not have time for such drama .. the dissipating drama .. because I am writing. And writing is drama enough. More than enough.
» Seemingly Unrelated Images with Curiously Matching Patterns
You know, Tay .. I must say that I find it interesting that you are using an image of one of your eyes .. as a sort of logo for your official music video for this song.
I find this interesting because I used a similar image while I was describing my son's mom .. specifically when I said about her » "She did not look scared."
Here is where I used an image of Kate Beckinsale's left eye .. as Selene in Underworld 5 Blood Wars.
The reason why I grabbed that particular image .. is because I had seen that exact look in her eye so many times.
That was exactly what I was talking about when I was saying that she did not look scared.
There is much I could say about her not looking scared. But I'm too smart for that.
» Suddenly Willing to Open a Long-Locked Door
I was also struck by your decision to use the image of your eye, because that particular image, for me, represents my son's mom.
And because I somehow felt inspired here to share that first-ever-meeting with her there on the beach at Crystal Cove.
I danced around that thing from every conceivable angle .. without ever coming right out and spilling the beans. So to speak.
In the back of my head, I can hear a voice saying, "This must mean something." But if it does, I havent a clue as to what it could possibly mean.
This sort of thing makes me sensitive to matching patterns that might happen to emerge .. between these two seemingly unrelated things. This sort of happens on its own.
If I do indeed recognize interesting patterns that match .. then I have to decide if I will speak to the parallels. And if so, then what do I say?
Some things are very difficult to speak to. And that's probably all I should say right now.
» I Dont Want to Win that Bad
I guess that I could share with you here that she is a Detroit girl. Detroit girls are tough. If you get in a fight, you want a Detroit girl on your side. Because they know how to fight dirty.
I bet that Marshall knows exactly what I am talking about here. They will throw sand in your eyes and then kick you in the nuts .. so to speak.
I am not a win-at-all-costs type of guy myself, so this type of approach is something that I find curious and try to understand its dynamics.
My lawyer once chewed me out during a day that we spent together in court. "Stop trying to help them," she scolded me.
She said some other things, too .. but the gist was that I was being too nice. .. to people who I shouldnt be nice to .. because they were trying very hard to hurt me and to do me lasting harm.
I once had a guy say to me .. a guy who had been a minister/pastor in a store-front church for young people in Costa Mesa .. I had him say to me, "If she is going to do all this nasty shit, then you should do the same (in return)."
Does this not surprise you that an ordained minister would suggest that I respond with similarly dirty, underhanded tricks?
It definitely surprised me. I said to him, "I dont want to win that bad."
I very much enjoyed talking to this dude. (Over coffee.) He had both undergrad and graduate degrees in Philosophy from UCLA.
There wasnt much that you couldnt talk about with this dude.
The end. ■ (For now, anyway.)
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