The Fruits of Honest Self-Reflection

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And she does these little wrap-ups at the end of each video, where she beautifully summarizes the whole episode.

I can feel myself trying to figure her out .. how she is doing this. She definitely has word skills .. but there's more.

It's not usually a good thing for girls .. when I become curious about them .. about what makes them tick.

I definitely dig her style .. I'm just not exactly sure what it is.

Which is probably why her videos are receiving such attention. Her average video gets a million views or more. She obviously got my attention.

The mere fact that she is showing up on this particular page .. this speaks things to me about her. In my own weird sort-of-way.

This is not the place for such dialogue, but, for me, she is speaking to this place. And that's all I should probably say along these lines .. of people being able to speak to places and things.

The things is .. that she is so young .. to be able to discourse on such things. I could not do that when I was her age. It took me a long time .. and it was very fucking hard for me.

I took my licks for sure. But I survived. (Somehow.)

» Able to Articulate the Fruits of Honest Self-Reflection with Style

Her style here .. where she is able to put into words the fruits of honest self-reflection .. see, the Dog is able to do this .. to a remarkable degree. If I was not actually awe'ed by him on countless occasions .. then 'awe' was certainly not far away.

I forget exactly what he was telling me .. but I remember him telling me some things, and me saying, "Give me a sec to wrap my head around that, Dog."

See .. I want to be there for the Dog like he is always there for me. This is one of the ways by which I show my respect and admiration of the Dog.

And he was going to these places and talking about some things that sort of required me to build entirely new conceptual frameworks right these on the spot .. in order for me to stay with him in a meaningful way.

And while I can feel something in me erecting such a framework .. an intellectual and emotional and intimate framework .. I am thinking, "How does he do that? How does he just say this remarkably insightful and honest and vulnerable stuff? .. like it's nothing?"

And the Dog is an impressive fucker for sure .. on a number of levels .. such as making you feel good about yourself. He is someone who brings out the best in people.

But one of these levels-of-impressiveness with the Dog is certainly his sense of » self-awareness combined with self-honesty. Particularly after he got out of Columbia.

He is the reason why I pursued that particular path in my life .. because he inspired me in that direction.

And then when I actually started trying to do this thing .. I said, "Shit .. this is harder than it looks. This is way harder than the Dog makes it look."

And yes, it was very discouraging for me. "I will never get there," I thought countless times.

But I just kept at it and over the years I started to make progress in this area.

» People Will Lie to Themselves, but Their Actions Speak a Telling Truth

If you endeavor to become more honest with yourself .. the first problem that you come up against .. is all the places where you lie to yourself. Or where you massage the truth .. or you parallax your perspective .. in order to see things in a prettier light.

I mean, who does not present their best image to the word? It is very much a part of being human here in the twenty-first century .. here in the third millennium.

There are a number of ways that sentient human beings like you-n-me go about discerning the true nature of reality and of our existence and or our individual experiences .. but one way is to pay particular attention to » existential phenomena. .. in a way that is as honest as you can be.

Because actions may not always speak loudest .. but they often speak most clearly.

"What do my actions say about me?" is the question that we all need to ask ourselves .. and which we should answer as honestly as possible.

Is your life an existential expression of your innermost values? Do you even know what your innermost values are? And most importantly, do you know why they are your innermost values?

You know that you have a good challenge on your hands when success looks like an impossibly daunting objective.

» I have Never Met a Girl with the Dog's Level of Honest Self-Reflection

But I cannot say that I have ever met a girl who was on the same level as the dog. I am talking about this area of honest self-reflection along with the vulnerability that comes with the finest in industrial-strength empathy.

I am not saying that such girls do not exist. No. I would never say such a thing. But I have never met one.

And it may simply be a function of the nature of the relationship .. the dog brother relationship.

I can tell you, however, in no uncertain terms, that such a relationship is not possible without trust .. which is the thing that lies at the heart of any dog brother relationship.

I wonder if Anna's shrink has something to do with it. I saw this thing where she talks about her shrink.

Everybody who I know that can articulate their inner life with such freedom and clarity .. these people have all had shrinks who helped walk them down the uglier roads in their lives.

One of the things that struck me about the handful of Anna's video that I watched .. was how consistently she held to solid content.

You might think that, after making a shitload of these videos .. that you might run out of things to say. So you start talking about less meaningful things.

I remember thinking on numerous occasions, "She is talking about real shit here."

There are no hard-n-fast rules for what determines real shit and what is merely filler .. but there are some guidelines.

When I see somebody heading down the path of life within these guidelines .. I cannot help but respect such people .. because I know how difficult it can be sometimes.

» Is it Her or Is it Me?

She seems to be provoking interesting dialogue. I kind of watch myself, as a writer, I observe what I write.

And I know that this subject that I am addressing at the time is a response, somehow, to this girl, or to something that she has said or done.

So when you see things coming out that are particularly curious .. for whatever reason .. do you think that your art that you have created in response to this other person .. do you feel that your art is a result-of-them (the other person) or a result of something inside of you?

Or perhaps I am not even asking the question correctly. I should probably think about these crazy ideas for a while before I go spouting them.

Anyway .. she is a good titler. That is, Anna makes good titles. I feel a thing with her there.

Sometimes they may sound crazy .. but she actually talks about these topics in a surprisingly sane way. That's a good trick.

» I Admit that It Does Indeed Get Me into Trouble Sometimes

I do indeed tend to speak my mind .. probably more than I should. But sometimes I just can't help myself.

At times, I can feel myself biting my tongue .. determined not to respond. But if the degree-of-the-stupidity rises to a certain level .. then I find myself calling bullshit even when I try not to.

I was talking to the Dog about this one time .. how sometimes I just have to call bullshit.

And the Dog said that he thought that no one would say that they didnt deserve it if I gave them shit.

He is saying that .. if I give them shit .. then it is because the level of bullshit has risen so high .. that they deserve it.

This page here, where I tell Ariana about my chat with the Dog .. this is where our conversation came from. You know how one thing dovetails into another.

But if you are indeed going to respond and speak your mind .. then timing is important. Your thing needs to be delivered at just the right time.

"How will I know when the time is right?" you ask?

You'll know .. in no uncertain terms. Your time will come .. sooner or later.

Uh .. I seemed to have gotten a little carried away there with Anna. I will probably have to lift out this section and transfer it to its own page .. where I can have at her in a more intimate setting, and where I can take my time with her.

[ Okay .. this now done. You are reading the page, which is dated 01 Jan 2018. ]

I dont think that I have ever met a girl who can speak to such a wide variety of topics. I wonder what kind of narrative she might provoke. You never really know until you step through that door.

Sometimes the things you find inside are nothing like what you had imagined going in. Your expectations were obviously wrong.

» Lilly Singh

Before I exit the subject of these popular and interesting and industrious youtubers .. I should probably mention Lilly Singh, who Forbes cited as a Top Influencer.

She sort of came out right away and defended herself .. against the familiar forces that typically follow such citings. But she did a good job .. of defending herself.

These girls are really exploring the full range of the medium. They all have their signature style. It's an exciting time to be alive. Too exciting .. some might say.

But if you think about what these girls are actually doing .. this is an impressive thing. They are juggling many different hats.

Lilly gets into this a little in her video .. saying that such things did not fall out of the sky for her. You can easily see that she is not that type of girl .. to wait around for things to fall out of the sky for her.

What does it mean to carry a large amount of influence? Does a social burden accompany such things?

The end. ■

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