The Place where Imagination becomes Reality - Page Two

[ This entry continues from » Page One (25 Dec 2017). ]

» Playing Off of Dostoevsky

Girly, this thing that I am building with you .. this dangerous thing .. I can see now that I am going to build this thing right over Dostoevsky.

I am going to use him as a set of patterns to play off of.

I have tons of respect and admiration for the man, for the writer .. but my trajectory into this theme that I am exploring here .. this feels beyond me. Well beyond.

The feeling here is like, "Holy smokes .. look where this thing is going. I would have never thought of this in a million years."

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••• today's entry continues here below •••

» If I Get in Trouble (and I Probably Will) I Can Blame the Whole Thing on You

And if I get in trouble, then I can just blame the whole thing on you .. and how crazy some girls can make you .. when they do their thing with you, for you, on you, to you.

I will say to them, "I was just telling her the Eddie Glenn story .. when the brothers Karamazov showed up. It was totally unexpected. And naturally it wasnt long until Dostoevsky himself arrived."

There is a degree here where the writing feels like it is happening itself.

The ego does not like this feeling here .. where the scintillating aspects of life are more a function of gifts beyond our abilities .. than they are the result of effort-ladden enterprises of the cause-n-effect variety.

It seems like one puts you into position for the other. So it would be easy to confuse the two.

» Now the Real Fun Starts

Speaking of building this thing right over Dostoevsky and the brothers Karamazov .. what would you think, girly, if I said that the thought just blew through my mind » "Dude, all that other writing was just to get you here. Now the real fun starts."

I am not saying that this is what actually happened .. because that would make me sound like a nut-case .. hearing crazy voices and whatnot.

But if it did .. then, what you think about that? (Hypothetically speaking.)

» Like a Comet that Returns Every Few Years

Girly, speaking of the real fun starting .. one of my most unusual writing things happened when I saw this thing.

This thing is like an asteroid or a comet that returns every 3 or 4. Maybe every 5 years.

First identified interstellar visitor the asteroid Oumuamua (19 Oct 2017)

Anyway, this thing involves Dostoevsky. I remember the feeling when it was the second time I saw this thing.

I am not going to get into the details of this thing .. because I dont want to sound like any more of a nut-case than I already do.

But I remember saying to the writer to me, "Dude, I see what you are saying here .. and I am totally honored .. but my huevos rancheros are not big enough for that. Not even close."

But this thing kept returning every 3 or 4 years or so. When things recur, I look a little closer.

So I started doing a little research and reading and investigating along the lines of this thing that was way over my head.

I am not going to write any more along these lines .. except to say that this gigantic mountain-to-climb suddenly doesnt look so imposing.

» Trying to Impress Super-Hotties

Girly, you are good for my ego. My ego likes you .. probably more than he should.

You make it easier for me to write the muscular stuff .. because I can feel myself trying to impress you.

This means that I like you .. when I do this.

A part of me thinks that I sound like a nut-case when I say it .. but the writer needs an access into these returning-comet type-of-things.

You can't just wade in there on your own. Or it will come off as awkward. You have to wait until things click around into place for you.

I do not know for a fact that I have what it takes to execute my complex skill set when this thing clicks around for me next time .. but I think that I might go for it this time.

It's all your fault, girly. Normally my huevos rancheros would not be nearly as grande as is necessary to even attempt something like this.

» Glimpses of the Future when You Pass from One Panel to the Next

This might sound a little crazy, but I dont really care. See .. as a believer, life can be viewed as, it can be modeled as .. and here I am speaking in an existential sense, as you experience it for yourself ..

.. you can construct a model, a conceptual model, where you » move from » one thing » to the » next thing .. as you are being led by the Spirit of the Living God Himself who lives inside of you.

You go where he leads you .. by the inward witness that John talks about. And this leading will always be congruent with what the scriptures themselves teach.

I know that this might sound very simple and easy .. but it practice, it is very difficult. It is not far from impossible .. in my opinion.

If you go ahead and give it a try, you will see exactly what I mean.

Anyway .. my point here is to say that .. sometimes, when I pass from one panel to the next .. I catch a glimpse of where this thing is going.

And it is a fleeting thing .. which could easily be lost .. and sometimes it feels like little gremlins are trying to steal away this image from your memory.

And the sense here is, "I dont think that I was supposed to see that. But I am so observant that I caught the glimpse from the gap."

And most of the time, the gremlins win. But once in a while, particularly when you dont give much of a fuck, you say, "Hold on there you little fucking gremlins. You aint getting this. I know what I saw. You can't unsee something."

See, the panels sort of block you from seeing the future. You need to deal effectively with this thing before you, or you can't proceed to the next thing.

» I Would Rather not Revisit the Place I Worked So Hard to Get Away From

And sometimes you can feel yourself being led backwards .. to the past .. as if you must first deal with something in your past before you can move onto your future.

And the feeling here is something like, "Uh, why are we going back to the past? I dont want to go back to the past. I've spent my whole life trying to get away from there. I would really rather NOT go back there .. if that means anything to you."

And even tho the future is blocked from you .. you still manage to catch a glimpse here and there of where this thing is going.

From a certain perspective, the so called 'future' is not really the future. It is simply that which is coming up next on my path .. in order to lead me into all the truth.

» Time is the Fourth Dimension

I will probably get into trouble sharing this ... but fuck it. See .. everybody is familiar with the concept of 3-dimention space .. consisting of length and width and height.

Cartesian coordinates label each of the points in the model using x,y,z for each dimension.

Everybody pretty much agrees that time is the 4th dimension. And Einstein would concur. Einstein said that space and time are really two different parts of » the samething.

» The Laws of Quantum Physics Work Equally Well in Both Directions

It makes sense if you think about it .. that time would be the 4th dimension. First you establish location .. and then you move this located thing through time. Voila.

I would be remiss here if I failed to mention what Brian Greene said in his feature titled » The Illusion of Time .. where he says, "There is nothing in quantum mechanics that says time must move forward. The laws work equally well in the opposite direction."

How convenient.

I just thought that you should know .. that the quantum laws work equally well in both directions. You can listen for yourself to him say it.

And I would probably be remiss if I didnt mention here .. that you can access the past via your imagination. And the future, too.

More on this imaginative time travel later, lovergirl.

» The Devil Can See and Knows the Future

The book of Acts contains a story about about a slave girl who had a spirit that allowed her to predict the future. So the scriptures teach that even the devil has the ability to see into the future.

That story has always interested me .. for a number of reasons. But one of these reasons is because of what the slave girls was saying » "These men are servants of the Most High God .. who are proclaiming to you the way of salvation."

Now .. if you were a servant of the Most High God .. and you were proclaiming the way of salvation .. wouldnt you want the free publicity?

I mean, she is telling the truth, right? They are exactly who she says they are, and they are doing exactly what she says they are doing.

When I searched Google for the verse, I saw many links there with people who have also been wondering about these very same things. So I am not alone here (.. in the world).

There is another story where two demon-possessed dudes say to Jesus, "What business do we have with you? Have you come to torment us before the appointed time?"

And I can't help but wonder, "What does the devil know about the appointed time?"

But this is another example of the devil understanding time and the future. And if the devil can do some things, then it seems only natural that believers would have something better.

If I go any further in this direction, then I will really start to sound like a nut-case.

» The Existentialist's Perspective of Phenomena in Life

Well .. maybe I can say one more thing here that might be related to time, and to sequencing, and to timing, and to being in the right place at the right time.

Back at our one-year anniversary, I wrote » "Do I have a blindspot?" This is the feeling that came after I saw you singing on SNL.

At some later point, I remember thinking, "How did I not see this coming?"

So naturally, I started wondering exactly where you came from. I do not mean this in the sense of your professional development. No ma'am. Rather I mean this as perceived from my existential experience .. of your arrival.

.. which felt very much like a big train pulling up to my front door. A sparkling monster of a thing .. billowing steam from a number of orifices.

Just like in the Polar Express. (If you knew how many times I watched Polar Express with my son .. you would understand.)

And my initial thought was, "This is not something that you just do spur-of-the-moment. This is something, rather, that you attempt after months of intensive training and preparation and psychological preparation. And this treatment has left me in a physically-weakened state. This is not a good time for me .. not for something like this. This could kill a healthy man. How could I possibly?"

For me, existentially speaking the place where you came from .. was that (drum-roll, please) you rose up out of my inquiry into the existentialists.

The moment before you arrived, I was very much absorbed into the existentialists and determining the essence of existentialism.

Origins of Existentialism

I was more absorbed than I cared to be. I was in the process of trying to figure out a way to get away from this absorption .. when you arrived. So to speak.

This is why it was easy for me to think, "This girl must be part of the Illuminati .. along with Jay-Z and Beyonce."

And in my weird, existential way of looking at things .. in looking at the things of this experience that we call life .. in this way, Emma Stone is close to this thing.

She goes back to the beginning. Actually, she was there even before you came along. In my experience of her in that movie .. which is the thing that prompted me to buy that book.

Note that I am writing this section about the existential experiencing of life here on a page that began with the notion of being in the exact-right place at the exact right time. (The Eddie Glenn story.)

Right about here is where you should be wondering » "What does it say to this guy, in an existential sort-of-way, that I appeared to rise up out of existential things?"

I am pretty sure that you cannot handle the answer to this question .. but it is going to depend a lot on what existential things have come to mean to me.

So .. what do existential things mean to me?

As mentioned before, the way of the existentialist is to describe things in an honest way .. without all the filters that we typically apply to phenomena.

And in order to describe phenomena accurately, we need to listen accurately and cleanly and honestly.

I can't go any further down this path without going even m.u.c.h further .. to the next town. So to speak. And miles to go before I sleep.

But the next town is where the existentialist's perspective of the phenomena in life meets the mechanism whereby the believer lives by faith. This is one of my secrets, girly.

Notice how Jordan Peterson says at t=3:05 here .. in talking about the Brothers Karamazov, "This issue is -- and this is the existential issue -- the issue is not what you believe, as if it's a set of facts, but how you conduct yourself in the world."

Much to unpack there .. but not right now.

» Some Things You Can Only Really Know by Actually Doing Them (Experience)

But what if true-scriptural-faith really consists of corresponding actions .. and not just a set of lofty ideals to which no mere mortal can ever attain .. so that those lofty ideals are often packed away soon as Sunday service is over?

Because, if that were true .. then we would want to look a little closer at our actions .. and naturally their consequences.

Everybody knows the verse that says » "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."

But that verse is only part of the statement. Notice how it begins with the word "and" or "then" .. depending on the translation.

The entire statement begins by saying » "If you continue in my word..." Because that there is the tricky part .. that continuing-in-his-word part.

It's not far from impossible .. in my opinion. Go ahead and give it a try and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

Oh, I could so get to meddling here. Suffice to say that there are some things that you can only "know" by doing them.

» Surrounded by and Resonating with Signature Patterns at the End of Life

My perspective on life is such that life contains two overarching groups of patterns. In one of these groups are many patterns that most people associate with something inspired by a benevolent deity ..

.. while the other group contains many patterns associated with nasty satanic trick-fucking.

Now there are so many variations on the individual patterns in these two main groups .. that each life is going to be unique in the way that an individual person lives in ways that will resonate with any number of these patterns.

But as your life proceeds down the decades .. you want to incorporate as many of the patterns that are associated with deity and less of the devil's patterns.

Now, I admit that this sounds rather easy .. but when you actually try to apply this principle to your life .. it can be remarkably challenging. Go ahead and give it a try and you'll see exactly what I mean.

Now, the thing that you dont want .. when you finally get to the end of your life .. is to be standing there surrounded by and resonating with devilish patterns and the people who practice them.

The Upanishads help clarify how intangible desires become your ultimate destiny. So what stars are you using to chart your course?

» Exploring the True Nature of Reality with a Beautiful Creature

Speaking of intimate secrets that I probably shouldnt tell you .. remind me, girly .. to tell you about my views on the true nature of reality versus the human experience of reality as processed by the brain.

Whenever somebody starts talking about the true nature of things, I can't help but feel curious .. because I am very much about exploring the true nature of things with a beautiful creature.

I bet that Justin knows exactly what I am talking about here.

Notice how the beginning of this PBS video says that » "The fundamental nature of reality might not be physical at all."

» When Your Path Runs Parallel to that of a Beautiful Creature

Everybody has their own unique path to follow .. which necessarily is affected by your past .. to one degree or another. But sometimes two paths cross. And sometime they even run parallel .. for a season or two.

When they run parallel .. this gives you an opportunity to get to know this person.

» Harnessing Complexity

Speaking of glimpses into the mind of the greatest writer who ever lived .. I want to mention something called » black box abstraction. A key thing .. a concept which I got from learning about how programming languages work.

The reason why I was so drawn to the concept of black box abstraction .. is because it is the philosophy behind how you » harness complexity.

This is the reason why I try to con.vert as much of my writing to Movable Type pages .. because having an individual page dedicated solely to some concept helps with the process of block box abstraction.

Note that this section has been moved to its own page titled » Harnessing Complexity by Using HTML to Mimic Black Box Abstraction Found in Programming Technology (01 Jan 2018).

» Each Successive Generation Should Improve on the Last

See .. each successive generation should go beyond the previous one .. in as many meaningful ways as possible.

And in the places that my thing takes me to .. I can see that these writers like Nietzsche and Dostoevsky have already been here. Cormac McCarthy, too.

» Your Father Never Talks to His Brothers

I should not tell you any more about the family .. because I dont want to scare you off. But remind me to tell you the story about the time ..

.. that cousin Kenny got busted for pot while he was living in the same house as cousin Gary, who had just become a state cop.

A Connecticut state cop stopped me about midnight for speeding as I was coming home from work. He hit me with the radar gun. My radar detector lit up like a Christmas tree as I came around a bend on one of the smaller highways near Nana's.

When I gave him my license and registration, he said, "Why does this name look familiar?"

He let me off and said, "Tell your cousin that so-n-so said hi."

» Harboring Grudges

The difference between my mom's side of the family and my dad's side .. was a big difference .. in many ways .. but mainly because my mom's side did not harbor grudges.

My mother once said to me, "You know .. your father doesnt talk to his brothers. Ever. He talks to his sisters, but never to his brothers. I dont want you and your brother to be like that. You're all each other have."

» He Silently Got Up and Went into His Room

I forget how old I was ... maybe 8 or 9 .. the age where you become family-aware and are trying to figure out who is who and which cousin belongs to whom.

It was during this time when I was sitting in the living room around the TV with the folks and I asked a question about my dad's dad .. whom I had never met .. because he died before I was born.

Note that this section has been lifted and moved to its own page titled » Getting Far Away from the Keeper of Grudges (02 Jan 2018).

» Since We are Always Going to be in Love Forever...

Girly, since we are always going to be in love forever .. then, there are probably a few things about me that you should know. That you should be aware of.

I mean, now that we have made love and everything .. you are probably going to need to know why I can feel so fucked up sometimes.

It is such a wonderful feeling when you feel like somebody really gets you .. and accepts you as you are.

And who isnt trying to change you .. and who is only trying to love you.

This is a very cool thing. It's definitely up there with the greatest of the great things.

So, already I am introducing you to the family. (Why do I feel like I should be whispering here?)

» Hit the Ground Running

Plus, the better acquainted that we get now, the less time we have to waste in eternity. So to speak.

We will be able to get right down to business .. hit the ground running. So to speak.

I dont think that guys ever stop trying to impress pretty girls. I can feel myself trying to impress you. That means that I like you when I do that. Live-n-learn, girly.

» The Place Where Imagination Becomes a Reality

The reason why I am sharing the Eddie Glenn story with you .. is because it illustrates a point. It actually illustrates a number of points and it illustrates them well ..

.. but the one that I want to mention here-n-now .. is how this story illustrates an example where something in my imagination became a reality.

I was imagining Eddie throwing that ball to me while I was still running away from him. And when I turned, my imagination became a reality.

I am talking about from an experiential perspective. The thing as I experienced it.

And, yes .. it was a very cool thing. Which is why I can still remember it so vividly.

< end section written on Christmas day >

» An Unforgettable End to the Game with Eddie Glenn

I cannot conclude my business with Eddie Glenn and the famous Eddie Glenn story .. without telling you how this game ended.

After everybody got a turn at playing receiver, we broke into two teams. Me & Eddie played against Cuz and Lance.

When we had the ball, Eddie called some cool razzle-dazzle plays. He was a master of razzle-dazzle.

Now, at the yard we are playing on, which is mostly Lance's front yard, but we actually played to the end of the grassy area, which ended at the Carey's driveway.

(After the Carey's house, was an empty lot, which sat next to the corner store, where I bought lots of red licorice and Yoohoo chocolate drinks and popsicles.)

At the end-corner where the Carey's driveway met the sidewalk along the street was a tree stump. This tree had been cut down only recently. I think it was getting old.

The tree that I mentioned earlier, where I catch my famous pass .. this was a different tree. Connecticut has lots of trees. My pass-catching tree was on the opposite side of the field .. over near the garages, away from the sidewalk.

Anyway the level area on which we are playing is raised up from the street level, where the front sidewalk is. It is probably raised up 3 or 4 feet .. not much, but the ground sloped away and down right where that tree stump was.

We considered it out-of-bounds once the ground sloped away toward the sidewalk. If you ran down onto the sidewalk, your ass was out-of-bounds. You cannot run back up and keep going.

Anyway, we did a razzle-dazzle play and Eddie was running for a touchdown after catching the trick-pass that I threw to him.

If you make it past that tree stump, that is a touchdown.

What happened next no young boy should ever have to see.

» He was Running Full-Speed for a Razzle Dazzle Touchdown to the Right-Corner

Eddie was a fast fucker .. but Cuz and especially Lance are fast, too. And Eddie was running like a motherfucker for a touchdown .. when his right foot had set down on where the grass starts to slope away .. and his right right leg flew out.

In other words .. his foot slipped.

He went sailing through the air (because he was running so fast) before he landed spreadeagled right on that tree stump that was sticking up about 3 or 4 inches high.

Oh my God. You kind of wanted to bless yourself .. in the Catholic fashion .. when you saw what happened.

» Strained Agony

He landed » right on his fucking nuts .. while running at a full sprint. His balls landed right on that tree stump. So squarely that I felt sure that this was most horrifying thing that I had ever seen .. up to that point.

The whole ground shook with thunder. There was thud of frightening ferocity. I can never forget it. (I dont think that Eddie ever had kids.)

Lance was the closest to Eddie at the time. He had been in hot pursuit. When he saw what happened, so closely, he turned to me, and I will never forget the look of horror on his face.

His look said, "Oh my God .. did you see that? I will probably need a lifetime of therapy to try and erase that image from my consciousness."

And that was end of that game.

Eddie was rolling around on the ground with both hands clutching his groin and a look of strained agony on his badly contorted face like I had never seen, nor have I ever seen since.

» How Can I Forget?

Years later, when the stump was showing its age, Lance and I would be walking back from the corner store, chewing fresh gum from a pack of player cards .. either football or baseball ..

.. and Lance would say, "Remember when Eddie Glenn's nuts landed right there?"

"How can I forget? Please tell me."

He was in the air for quite a while. Even Michael Jordan wouldve been impressed.

Eddie was obviously trying to do something with his legs. You didnt even need to see his face .. to know that this had to hurt.

You could tell by the sound of the thud he made .. when he hit the ground. I think I said a little prayer for him .. without even trying to.

The corner where he landed slopes away in two directions .. one toward the sidewalk and the other toward the Carey's driveway.

So this stump sticks out prominently. And they left a good bit of it sticking up .. when they cut it down.

And each of his legs was stretched out down each one of these two slopes .. which met at a corner.

It was so horrible to see that you didnt want to believe it actually happened .. right there before your very eyes.

Before this moment, I did not even know that such a thing was possible. Werent the angels supposed to protect kids from horrible things like this?

But the thing that really fucked you up .. was the thud that me made. When he landed.

He actually bounced a little .. off the ground.

The end of this page and of this theme. ■

This saga continues here » Does that not Strike You as a Curious Thing? (11 Jan 2018).

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on December 25, 2017 12:25 PM.

The Place where Imagination becomes Reality - Page One was the previous entry in this blog.

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