Feeling Less Fucked-Up - Page Two

[ This entry continues from » here. ]

» Establishing a Rudimentary Basecamp at a Remote Outpost

My point in citing these two writers (Hemingway & Sophy) is that .. when I find myself in a place that I have never been before .. or when I find myself with thoughts that I have never thought before ..

.. this is the #1 thing that drives me to write. Even if I am tired, or dont feel like it .. this is the #1 thing that gets me writing.

Because this means I am at the place that Sophy referred to. And because, once I write this thing, then that establishes a sort of basecamp from which I can explore even further.

You also get points for originality and authenticity when you generate such ideas organically. But this is not the primary reason why I exert such effort to capture these thoughts and ideas.

The primary reason is to establish an idea-basecamp of sorts .. from which I can explore further .. even if this basecamp is not constructed very well.

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< begin sidebar on establishing a prelude to the future >

» Establishing a Prelude to the Future

Oh, look at this. This guys seems to be saying exactly what I am saying.

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)Notice how he says at the beginning:

"One of the ways of conceptualizing Beyond Good and Evil (1886) .. and I think this is true for most great works .. is that the author of the work unconsciously collects patterns from his or her interactions with the world .. and then gives them initial formulation. And the patterns can be deep and multilevel .. and the initial formulation translates them into .. not so much ideas .. as into the seeds of future ideas. And the more poetic the author happens to be, the more the case that his or her writings contain within it the seeds of future ideas."

Where he uses the term 'poetic' above .. myself, I would probably use the term » abstract.

This is probably because I bring concepts from programming into play in my writing. (They dont call them programming 'languages' for nothing.)

» Adopting Concepts Found Natively in Programming Reality Simulators

If you operate and live your life AS IF you were living in a virtual reality computer simulation game .. then it seems to me that the writer would want to use a structure and a 'philosophy-of-writing' which would acknowledge such a model of existential reality.

[ Matt Damon employs the concept of living in a virtual reality computer simulation when he talks to graduating students at MIT. ]

I can feel myself bouncing off of concepts that I learned from programming. To me, these concepts upon which programming languages are based feel wonderfully satisfying. I can feel the power.

As part of a thought-experiment, try re-reading Genesis chapter 1 beginning with the verse » "In the beginning, the Supreme Programmer created a virtual reality unlike any other."

Scripture teaches that this world which we perceive as our physical reality is actually an inferior (temporary) reality. A temporary, virtual form of reality that is subordinate to a higher form of reality. (Everybody already knows this.)

» Programming Focuses On Procedural Knowledge

Programming is more about accomplishing things by performing tasks .. rather than learning facts, which is the type of information that we are typically exposed to in school.

The Dog once said to me, "As an undergrad, they want you to KNOW everything; as a grad student, they want you to DO everything."

Perhaps this is why procedural knowledge (how to do things) seems like a higher form of knowledge (.. than merely knowing certain facts).

But you cant learn how to DO something before you KNOW what it is that you are working with.

[ My aim here is to leverage powerful technologies in order to impress super-hotties with the mastery of my skillset so that they will want to make beautiful babies with me. ]

» Seeing Into the Technology

The last class that the military teaches you about how a reactor works (classroom-based theory) is called » Systems Integration.

They spend the whole time teaching you about the individual systems .. and then, at the very end, they put it all together for you.

It is the coolest thing. I mean, you can actually SEE INTO how a reactor plant works. Boner City for the geek.

And then, after you learn how a reactor works, then they say, "Let's go turn some matter into energy," By splitting atoms.

» Poetry and Abstraction in Pattern Recognition

See .. pattern recognition is where abstraction happens.

This is also where poetic imagery comes into play .. where the poet suggests a related thing by evoking certain pattern similarities.

My point here is that I know what he is saying; but I wouldnt say it that way.

Then he adds that Nietzsche and Dostoevsky are particularly notable for their ability to do exactly this.

I find it interesting that he specifically mentions Nietzsche and Dostoevsky.

Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881)Because both of them quickly depart to distant galaxies.

I have already written about pursuing the trail of Dostoevsky.

He takes you far, far away. In a hurry.

And the fact that another human being has actually been to these thought-places that he is writing about ..

.. this is both humbling and encouraging. (If not inspiring.)

I should note that the subtitle of this book is » Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future.

The term prelude indicates » An introductory performance, event, or action preceding a more important one; a preliminary or preface.

While the term future indicates » The indefinite time yet to come.

I can feel myself doing this .. this pushing forward into the future .. growing new ideas out of current ideas.

I am not sure if the reader can see me doing this. I do this primarily for myself, tho. Because it challenges me. Because I grow as a sentient human being by exploring the unknown .. no matter how nasty or ugly it might be.

[ And yes, also because I am showing off a little for a super-hottie singer that I am flirting with. But this is not my primary reason. ]

If the reader cares to tag along, and is able to follow my logic .. then cool. If not, then I will gladly go myself.

And maybe I'll happen to cross paths with a super-hottie while I'm out there. Or a beautiful creature, perhaps.

My aim here, however, is not to develop a philosophy of the future. At least, I dont think that's what I'm doing.

Rather, it feels like I am conducting reconnaissance or sorts .. by going where life takes me and documenting my journey.

I remember addressing this subject with Lauren .. where I described the process as building

"these new, mini (5 mins or less) efficient » PLATFORMS .. which each one of your videos represents .. then others can come behind you .. and use for platform as a springboard to even further places."

I will write more about this later. I just want to mention it here now.

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When you stumble upon a thought or an idea or a place that you have never been to before .. these places are often not drawn very distinctly. So you need to explore the landscape further .. in order to get a better idea of where you are.

Go where there is no path says Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is also the possibility that another like-minded soul might see the flag waving above your distant outpost .. and recognize familiar patterns in your flag, and stop by to say hello.

That can be a lot of fun. (I am establishing such a basecamp right now.)

Along the lines of establishing rudimentary outposts at the furthest reaches of the galaxy .. notice how this idea encapsulates the notion of stepping out of your comfort zone.

It takes time at a new place before you can establish a comfort zone there .. no?

Some people are quicker at establishing a comfort zone than others. But it is impossible to become 'comfortable' in an environment you have never experienced before.

» Real Life Often Turns Out to be Very Different from How You had Imagined

I cannot tell you the number of times that I came away from encountering one of these new areas, one of these new landscapes .. with the thought » "Wow, that was nothing like I would have expected."

I am confident that Katy Perry knows exactly what I'm talking about here. Alan Simpson, too.

This is the place where you update your 'prejudices' (pre-judging of things for which you have no real firsthand experience with the thing) to now reflect reality based on firsthand experience.

Having firsthand experience with a thing gives you a confidence that you dont have when you are limited to speaking about a thing based on mere conjecture (.. where you are really guessing).

» Comfort Zones Quickly become Creative Ruts

The very first speaker in that video where eight artists give advice to the young (artist) is Maria Abramovic.

Maria Abramovic asks how you KNOW that you're an artist

At t=3:20 she is articulating this exact idea .. tho she is approaching it from a different angle.

A little later, at t=5:03, she tells of a favorite, old professor, who gave her an important piece of advice .. where he told her, when she got so good with her right hand, that she could paint with her eyes closed .. to immediately switch over to her left hand.

She doesnt explicitly state that this is to keep her from forming a creative rut there in her comfort zone, but that is exactly her subtext.

The opposite of your comfort zone .. is that horribly uncomfortable place .. the one where nothing feels right about anything.

I was telling Rihanna about this.

» Routine is the End of Everything Artistic

Maria herself articulates the reasoning behind such a strategy as (at t=5:27) » "When you become routine .. [ pause for effect ] .. that is the end of everything."

That statement is so good that it is worth hearing again.

So when I read that statement by Feist, I knew that she had been down such a road .. far enough to articulate that idea.

I could so get off on such a tangent here .. but when I read her statement .. I recognized something in it.

And it's a cool feeling .. when you think that you are the only person who has ever had such a thought .. but you come across someone with that very same thought.

It makes you feel less alone in the world. And maybe even less fucked-up.

» Six Characteristics of Truly Creative People

Here is something worth mentioning » the six characteristics of truly creative people, by Tina Seelig. (I like her.)

The six characteristics of truly creative people by Tina Seelig

[Where they mention 'Attitude' in this graphic, they really mean » Self-confidence.]

I am simply going to mention this 20-minute video right now and later I may return to comment on it .. because much of what she says resonates with my own experiences.

Her graphic here reminds me of a Feynman diagram .. where you try to represent with a simple working diagram a process that can be otherwise complicated.

Tina refers to this working model as an » innovation engine. She focuses on not only how the creative person comes up with ideas .. but also on » bringing them to life .. which are often two very different things. Which come from two very different mindsets.

On this page, where I mention advice given by Chuck Close .. where he says to "get right to work" .. Chuck's advice mentions nothing about coming up with ideas to work on.

Let me just note here that Tina identifies 'knowledge' as one of the six characteristics found in her innovation engine. At t=6:40, she says that » "knowledge is the toolbox for your imagination."

This is why it is important that you become a student of what you do .. whatever that might happen to be.

» The Artist's Philosopher

Speaking of becoming a student of what you do .. this page on Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) says that he has been dubbed » the artist's philosopher on account of the inspiration his aesthetics has provided to artists of all stripes.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)What philosopher would not love to be known as the artist's philosopher?

Schopenhauer is huge.

He was a big inspiration for Nietzsche.

And many other biggies.

His ideas were considered iconoclastic.

Schopenhauer's #1 claim to fame is » The World as Will and Representation (1818) ..

.. expanded for a second edition in 1844 (the year Nietzsche was born) and again for a third edition in 1859.

So it seems like he spent most of his life writing this one book .. sort of like Proust.

I have not read Schopenhauer, so I probably shouldnt write on his work. But when I looked into his philosophy, of the world as will, I couldnt help but think about that verse in Romans that says » ".. who is able to resist his will?"

The implication here is that no man can resist the will of God. Not in the long run, anyway.

Even if you have never read any Schopenhauer, surely you can see how a thoughtful person might formulate and organize a paradigm of life in the world viewed as » will. Who has not felt and experienced firsthand the world as will?

» Dissolving the Boundaries of the Self

I find interesting the three ideas of Schopenhauer presented at the beginning of this 7-min video.

  1. Music is a unique art form which profoundly reflects the nature of the world.
  2. Human existence is an endlessly unfulfilled striving.
  3. Redemption comes through a change in consciousness in which desire ceases and the boundaries of the self are dissolved.

"In which the boundaries of the self are dissolved" ? I didnt even know that such boundaries could be dissolved.

I noticed that Arthur mentions his perspective of music in item #1.

I mention these ideas presented by Schopenhauer because .. this thing he says about dissolving the boundaries of the self .. that is exactly the way I feel sometimes.

Not always .. but definitely sometimes. Should I elaborate? I would probably sound like a nut-case if I said any more along these lines.

Desire » Will » Deed » Destiny

Speaking of the world as will .. and the will-to-power .. notice what it says on the opening page of my book of Upanishads:

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.

Even a few millenia ago, people could see the key role that will played in their lives lived in the world.

The opening paragraph of Schopenhauer's wikipedia page says:

Schopenhauer was among the first thinkers in Western philosophy to share and affirm significant tenets of Eastern philosophy (asceticism, the world-as-appearance), having initially arrived at similar conclusions as the result of his own philosophical work.

The fifth paragraph of wikipedia page for the Upanishads says this:

With the translation of the Upanishads in the early 19th century they also started to attract attention from a western audience. Arthur Schopenhauer was deeply impressed by the Upanishads and called it "the production of the highest human wisdom."

Oppenheimer read the Gita in the original sanskrit.

» Fitzgerald Feeling Fucked-Up

Along the lines of feeling more fucked up, rather than less, it may be worth quoting a line here from this video about Fitzgerald, titled » The American Dreamer.

At t=1:00, the narrator says » "But the good times didnt last. By 40, Fitzgerald was washed up, an alcoholic, his books no longer in print, his name forgotten, and his glamous wife locked away in an insane asylum."

There's some food for thought .. regarding the creative process.

» Christina Ricci Channels her Inner Zelda

Speaking of Fitzgerald's crazy wife .. Christina Ricci plays Zelda in the Amazon original series titled Z: The Beginning of Everything.

Christina Ricci as Zelda Sayre

She is very much feeling the role. She obviously identifies easily with Zelda. You can see it without even trying.

Christina read the book upon which the series is based and said, "I feel you Z. I will make things right for you."

And you know how I feel about Scott. I have already threatened Ariana with getting "all Fitzgerald" on her ass.

And you know that their relationship was notoriously tempestuous.

Now I am sure that it is just my imagination running away with me .. but I kind of feel attracted to her. I can feel something sparking with her. (Christina, not Zelda.)

I have already used her image on another page .. where I muse about wondering what it must be like to lie with Hollywood's hottest starlet. (I'm sure it's just a coincidence.)

Yet there is something about her that I dont like. Hemingway says that she tried repeatedly to sabotage Scott's career. (Zelda, not Christina.)

Perhaps she felt that a super-successful and popular writer might leave her for an upgrade. Who knows what she thought .. except Zelda and Christina?

I could so get off on such a rabbit hole here. I can see it forming right before my very eyes. But I'm too smart to fall for that.

Nice try Zelda .. uh, I mean, Christina. You almost succeeded. So close.

My ego imagines you reading this and saying, "Wow, he's even better than I thought he was .. and I knew he was good."

Sometimes I do special things with my writing,

» The Girl Who Paints Souls

Oh, I just saw this thing about this artist-girl (posted May 2, 2017). I was impressed. What nuance.

Watercolor painting by cool artist-chick

Her paintings speak in the same way that Rembrandt's do. They are capturing the thing behind the flesh.

Such artists possess the ability to peer into the soul and capture an image of it. That is very fucking cool.

Intimacy is involved in such work, no?

» She Describes her Creative Process

This girl is not bragging; she knows that she is good at what she does. Rather she is simply describing her creative process.

Which she does remarkably well. I was very much enchanted. She actually makes me feel less fucked up .. which is why I am mentioning this here.

» Watercolors on the First-Thursday Art-Walks in Laguna

Laguna Beach First Thursday Art WalkI have always appreciated watercolor paintings.

Back when I lived in Laguna (for 10 years),

I would go to the monthly First-Thursday art-walks.

My favorite art of the whole, entire art-walk was this guy on the north side of town, right there on PCH (not far from where I lived) who painted with watercolors.

For some reason, the skill evident in such paintings really shines through for me with a watercolor painting.

» Words Flattened her Emotions

Notice where she says (at t=0:40) in a section titled » beauty ..

"I really love words. I grew up loving to read. I found that people could express themselves so beautifully through their words. But as I tried to write, it flattened the emotions .. so I went more toward physical expression."

I think that she means to say here » visual expression .. rather than physical, which is what dance would be (a physical expression).

With visual art, you are able to take it all in with a single gaze. This is why they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Being a writer of words myself, I think a lot about stuff like this. Probably more than I should.

If I shared with you all the things that I think along these lines, you would surely think I'd lost my mind. (If you dont already.)

At the risk of falling into this subject, and sounding like a nut-case .. let me simply state that I include the use of images with my writing. Representative images.

» Embrace Your Flaws; They Make You Unique

Perrie Edwards reveals her flawsNotice how she says (at t=1:25):

"When I first started to draw, and to create, I would obsessively draw models in magazines .. these big, beautiful perfect flawless faces. It got boring. There is no character to it. There are no flaws that made it interesting."

Notice how she uses present-tense verbs [ is (no character) and are (no flaws) ] even tho she is talking about things from her past.

This tells me that she has actually gone into her creative process in order to retrieve these descriptions. I catch myself doing that same thing sometimes.

For the writer this can be a problem. Because the writer wants the tense of his verbs to be accurate .. so he doesnt confuse the reader.

But notice how she finds flaws and makes them into things of beauty.

Because the Dog does this. He identifies parts of you that others dont see, or parts of you that others might see as a negative .. and he shows you how this is actually a special strength of yours.

It is a very cool thing that he does. He makes you feel good about yourself .. and about even your flaws.

This is why everybody loves to be around the Dog. He makes you feel loved. He lifts you up to his level .. whereas others try to drag you down to theirs.

» Considered Psychologically Unstable

At t=3:00 in this video (titled » The Nature of Creativity) the narrator states » "This is perhaps why many creative individuals tend to be considered psychologically unstable .. yet do not wish to do away with their inner instability."

'As an experience, madness is terrific' writes Virginia Woolf in 1913 in 'The Voyage Out'

There is a lot that I could say about that statement. But let me simply note here .. that another way of saying "psychologically unstable" could be » "fucked up."

Note that he doesnt explicitly state that these creatives types ARE psychologically unstable .. but rather merely "considered". They are therefore "perceived" as such.

I feel remarkably comfortable discussing the subject of what it is like to be psychologically unstable. It feels like I'm operating from within my comfort zone.

Psychological stability is a relative thing. What one person finds uncomfortable might be no big deal for another fellow.

That video says many cool things. Many thought-provoking things. Many things that speak to me. Many things that I could identify with.

This artistic psychological instability is not, however, your garden-variety run-of-the-mill psychological instability. No, ma'am. Not hardly.

At t=28:30 in this video, Jordan Peterson mentions the relationship between mental illness and creativity. "How do you distinguish someone who is creative from someone who is mad?" he asks.

"I dont know, exactly." he says, answering his own question. (Audience chuckles.)

"Creativity is a rough road," he concludes, "and most of the time it's not that good for the person who is engaged in it."

I like this guy. I have seen a few other of his videos. Everything he does is fascinating.

» A Real-life Shapeshifter?

He seems like a totally different person in different videos. He looks different. He sounds different. His energy is different. His persona is different.

I bet there is some interesting shit going on under his hood. Which is probably why he went in that particular direction professionally.

I read a thing one time that said most psychologists become psychologists as part of an effort to self-diagnose.

Perhaps there are many years separating the various videos that I've seen .. which would help explain the different looks.

» Artistically Integrating Your Psycho-Fragments into a Unified Whole

I have heard people talking about other people as having a multiple-personality disorder. There are some interesting perspectives that I could share.

Speaking too freely about insights into psychological phenomena is fraught from the git-go. But who has not entertained different personas at different points in their lives .. for different reasons at different times?

There is the professional you, the private you, the erotic you, the romantic you, the sexual you, the silly you, the parental you, the geeky you, the athletic you, the kinky you, the incarcerated you .. you get my point.

Part of growing and developing as a part of we highly-evolved carbon-based sentient life-forms known as homo sapiens (thinking man) .. is to integrate these various psychological fragments into a unified whole.

And the degree to which we are successful at this .. well, I'll let you go ahead and finish this sentence yourself. But there is definitely an artistic aspect involved.

» Intimate Relationships with the Fucked-up Psychologically Unstable Creative Type

See .. this psychological instability will play a role in your intimate relationships .. more so with some than others.

Because some girls know how to deal with it, and some dont. Some even know how to encourage it.

Perhaps you can see how such perceived psychological instability might represent a serious problem for a lover who is not confident in who she is and is not secure in what she believes.

If she is the type of person who needs to 'possess the soul' of her lover in order to feel secure in the relationship .. then this type of person is going to have trouble in such a relationship.

But this is all that I should probably say along these lines.

And here is another thing that makes me feel less fucked-up.

The end for now. ■

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on April 16, 2017 4:16 PM.

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