When Governments Inflict Lasting Psychic Trauma on Children as a Matter of Policy - Page Three

••• today's entry continues here below •••

I feel confident that AC Thompson would agree with me here.

What a documentary. AC Thompson .. he is an impressive dude.

» The Source of My Resolve

Back when I said, "It might take me ten fucking years .. but these fuckers are gonna regret this shit." .. this was when I was walking out of a daycare that the court ordered me to take my son to.

And I can assure you that there was no doubt when I said this thing. Not even a little.

They tried to call it a 'preschool,' but it was really just a daycare. A good daycare, but still a daycare.

They actually wrote in the court orders something like, "Parents should try to work shit out .. but if they can't, then, whatever the mom decides goes, and the dad has to do whatever the mom says."

[ Which is why she makes all the decisions .. because we never agree. On anything.

For some reason, living with me seemed to cause her much consternation. ]

I shit you not. I dont know why some judges discriminate against dads like that. Not all, but certainly some do.

(I am not the only one. Dads talk among themselves. They share their stories. Their nightmare stories with courts who bleed them dry and grind their asses into the pavement.)

While walking out of the courtroom that day, I thought about what Paul said when he wrote » "He hardens whom He hardens."

See .. I want to spend time with him myself. I dont want to give him to someone else to watch for me. Can anybody blame me?

» The SYSTEM is About the Money (Not the Kids)

And I certainly dont want to pay money to do this, because I have no money .. because the lawyers were taking all my money, trying to defend me against a seemingly endless tide of horrifying accusations.

I spent everything that I had .. trying to stay in his life. I max'ed out a half dozen different credit cards. Lawyers fees will quickly bankrupt you in these types of things. Ask me how I know.

I remember telling my lawyer in court one day, "This is it. This is all the money that I have. All my credit cards are now max'ed out. I have no more money."

When his mom was telling me one time how she puts him to bed early and then has time for herself in the evening, I remember thinking, "She doesnt understand that I want to spend as much time with him as I can. She thinks that I think like her .. but I dont."

[ This is why you need to find someone who really gets you. She did not have what it takes to get me. I admit that I enjoy a good challenge, but I was not able to make that work. ]

My son and I had already been separated for a few months by three different restraining orders (.. temporary ones, which were always deemed bullshit, and never made permanent). They hand these things out like candy.

There was a guy in one of my Kids First co-parenting classes (at Chapman college) who had 6 temporary restraining orders filed on him. All deemed bullshit. He was not in good shape. He was beat up pretty badly. I felt sad for him.

You would think that, after the fifth one that was deemed bullshit, the court would stop issuing them to the mom. But you would think wrong, my friend.

» This Kind of Thing Fucks You Up

I said this thing about these fuckers coming to regret this thing .. right after it took two daycare workers to peel my son off of me .. while he is clinging to me with his arms wrapped around my neck and crying hysterically.

» Destitute of Sympathetic Kindness

That shit fucks you up .. unless you are a heartless piece-of-shit, of course .. with no sense of empathy or compassion for little children.

Do you think that Trump is capable of feeling a genuine sense of empathy and compassion for the less-fortunate?

Is it even possible? Or is that part of his psyche forever maimed and mutilated?

» It Makes Them Uncomfortable

People who lack empathy and compassion do not like to hear about the misfortunes of others ..

.. because it reminds them of their own deficiencies as a sentient being.

The deficiencies of their soul.

Walter Isaacson knows what I am talking about.

Adam Serwer knows what I am talking about.

I bet that Hitler knows exactly what I am talking about here. Does Hitler's father (Alois Hitler, 1837-1903) look like somebody who is capable of kindness or empathy or compassion?

His wikipedia page states that » "Alois Hitler was born illegitimately, and his paternity was never established. Alois had a poor relationship with Adolf, who rebelled against him."

I bet.

» Unable to Put this Feeling into Words

I dont think that I am able to put into words exactly what that feels like .. when those daycare workers peeled my son off of me .. with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck .. while he is crying hysterically in my ear .. and after so many forces had repeatedly conspired to separate us.

I dont think that I am able to put this into words .. and I might be the greatest writer who has ever lived. (At least, this is what everybody keeps telling me.)

But this 4-min video by John Oliver should give an idea of what I am talking about.

This is why I like John Oliver.

I wonder what Kim Brooks thinks of the way these children are being treated.

» I Said that in Faith

That fucked me up. I was tweaked walking out of there .. when I said this thing.

"These fuckers are gonna regret this shit. I was letting them slide with the merely annoying shit .. such as denying me lawyer's fees, despite yet another accusation being deemed "unfounded" .. and ordering me to pay her everything I have saved over all these years, while I was working such enormous hours, for so many years .. funds that I had squirreled away over the course of many years to pursue the art-n-craft of writing. .. because so many people had told me that this is something I should definitely do. Many people had encouraged me along my way, along my journey through life .. to the point that I felt it a sin not to at least give it a try and see what happens as I hone this craft .. to a fine edge. The courts ordered me to keep paying until I max'ed out all my credit cards ($65K) and until I had to sell my car, and give her that .. money, by the way, which she uses only to hire people to try to take him away from me with, time after time after time. And then they repeatedly throw my ass in jail when I can't pay what they say that I must pay. It seems like they are trying to teach me that it is not a good idea for dads to file for paternity, like I did. They clearly wanted to make it as painful as they could for me .. because I dared to file for paternity. Because the mom wasnt letting me see my son. I had no other choice .. but to walk away .. like so many dads already do. I was letting these fuckers slide on that merely annoying shit. I was letting them slide in their obviously severe discrimination against dads who dare file for paternity. But they are going to pay for this shit .. for ordering me to let people peel my son off of me .. while he's crying hysterically in my ear. They will come to regret this. I will bring the thunder .. so help me God. They have never seen anything the likes of me before. Because I know somebody .. somebody who they obviously dont know."

.. I said that in faith. I spoke those words aloud. On purpose.

You know when you are in faith. There is nothing like the feeling of being in faith.

The feeling behind such a thing is » there is no force in the universe that can stop this thing from happening. And any forces that try to get between my words and this thing happening .. will just become roadkill.

You'll see what I mean.

Sooner or later. I can almost hear the weeping and gnashing of teeth now.

The court ordered me to pay money that I didnt have in order to bring him to a daycare on two of the three days that I had him each week. So that other people would watch him, and so I couldnt be with him during this time.

(Whereas the mom only took him to this daycare on 1 of the 4 days that she had him each week.)

» They Understand Money Better than They Do Morals

Speaking of the SY$TEM being more about the money than they are about the kids .. check out what Shaun Dougherty says at t=6:55 here, when the interviewer asks him what he would tell the Pope "from a moral end."

His response is so remarkable that I am going to transcribe it here, word for word .. because he makes my point for me when he says:

"What am I going to tell the Pope? They're supposed to tell me the morality. I mean, what do you tell an institution that teaches morality but has none? What am I supposed to say to them? I have to deal with them the way that they treat their organization. They're not treating it as a moral, faith-based organization. They're treating it as a business. So, as a business, and I own a business, I can give them advice on that, you have a horrible public relations firm. And you're about to lose a ton of money. And they understand money .. because, when one of their priests embezzle, they prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. When you embezzle from the church as a priest, you go to jail. When you rape a child as a priest, you get transferred to a whole new flock of kids. So it's a business. So maybe that'll do it. Money has been their presser their whole time, in my opinion. So this, right now, is a public relations problem for his business. And he is the CEO of that business."

Much respect to this guy. A part of me is blown away that he is able to put such things into words. Wow.

The way that he is able to speak to this thing .. and the things that he is saying .. the things that he is able to put into words .. this is very difficult to do.

I can actually feel my respect for his courage.

This is the kind of thing that the Dog can do. He says the most soul-bearing shit .. like it's nothing. Like he does it all the time.

It isnt until you try to do it yourself .. that you can see how difficult it actually is.

It's like jumping into the mud of your life with both feet .. ankle deep. Because this is the only way that you're going to be able to save your soul. So to speak.

» Screw the Kids .. Protect the Money at All Costs

I would tell the Church leaders, "Your values suck. You have shitty values. Your actions speak to and reveal your true values .. because actions speak louder. You should be ashamed of yourselves for letting such nasty things continue for so long and for destroying so many lives. It's people like you who give Christianity a bad name. You use the guise of religion to carry out your perverted deeds. Welcome to the new age .. where we call out your sorry asses. And where all your darkest secrets will be revealed. Nothing shall remain hidden. Watch-n-see."

When is the Vatican going to grow a spine that cares more about the children than it does about the money? What is it going to take? This is what everybody keeps asking.

Elizabeth knows what I am talking about.

EJ knows what I am talking about.

Both Campbell and Sharon know what I am talking about. And Susan, too. Marci knows what I am talking about. And Josh Shapiro.

Stephanie discusses this issue here. Jake calls bullshit on Cardinal Wuerl here. That was impressive, Jake.

This is the end of this page. ■

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