The Dark Side of the Morning - Part Two

••• today's entry continues here below •••

Compare your vocals there with the way that Hailee sang "Let me go" at the end of this song. She touches upon some themes that I am familiar with.

She does this mumbly thing with some of her enunciation. Mumbly is not the right word, but you know what I mean. Particularly when she sings, "Picture perfect."

» I Can Tell that She Wants Me to Write About Her

Oh, look at her go here .. with both a playful personal and an official music video.

Then she performed live at the AMAs .. where she was looking so sparkly. Did you run into her there at the AMAs? You were there.

Then she performed the song again on Jimmy Fallon .. again looking very sparkly.

I can tell that she wants me to write about her. (That's what they all want.)

When they put on those sparkly girly things and sing songs like that .. songs that they know will get my attention .. that means that they want me to write about them. I can tell.

» Trying to Resist the Youthful Charms of a Super-Hottie

I might have to give her her own page. But whatever title would I give it?

I am going to resist the urge .. because, sometimes, once I get started .. well, you know.

I am going to resist the urge .. but honestly, I think that battle may already be lost.

There is definitely something about her. Tho I am not sure that I can tell you exactly what it is.

» I Will have to Give Her My Speech

Did she really just turn 21? What is it with these young girls? They certainly know how to get your attention.

Whatever that 'it' thing is .. she's definitely got it. That's why she wants me to write about her.

I have already gone back and included a shot of her on the speed bag .. where I talk about making the speed bag sing down in Gramp's cellar. I only do things like that with girls that I really like.

I will have to give her my speech about the accomplishments of people in their 20's .. Einstein and Fitzgerald.

» What is it About Her?

I see that she has been a busy girl .. doing many cool things.

And here she is even doing a gender role reversal. This tells me that she is game.

I know that it might seem hard to believe .. but I really do resist writing about and to pretty singers. (I must really have a thing for singers.)

There is indeed something special about her. But what? What is it? How would you describe what it is that makes Hailee Steinfeld special?

This is a valid question, no? You know what I'm talking about.

For the writer, this is like doing push-ups .. this putting-into-words intangible things. Capturing the most-elusive of things without distorting any of the natural beauty.

But the image I craft will naturally come through the lens of my eye (.. which comes from the sum-total of my life-experiences).

There is a challenge to such a thing .. because many boundaries and questions come into play. Certainly tact comes into play.

For example, Hailee is at that transitional stage between girl and woman. It's a very cool time .. not without vulnerabilities.

Especially coming from older, powerful men .. as we are being reminded of late.

It never ceases to surprise me how different people elicit different parts of my personality .. and the dialogue that they seem to stimulate or evoke.

» A Good Team

Anyway, Selena .. I feel here I that Mr. Kygo was serving up a musical vehicle that was going to work for you.

And the way that he takes the song from a country flavor to ass-kicking EDM .. that was very cool. Everybody was impressed by that. (Me, too.) It's not easy to make things look easy.

I really like the acoustic spacial quality of the song.

» The Therapeutic Aspect of Speaking to Difficult & Frightening Things

Freud discovered that the very act of being able to put into words .. things that may have been bothering us or tormenting us .. can sometimes be curative.

My buddy, the Dog .. he is able to put into words pretty much anything he needs to. And he strikes me as one of the most psychologically healthy people I know.

Sometimes I will stop him and say, "Dog, give me a sec to wrap my head around that, okay?" And all the while I will be wondering, "How can he just come right out and say such deeply personal and vulnerable things like it's nothing? I wish I could do that."

Because this speaks such awesome levels of self-confidence and self-awareness, and being comfortable in your own skin and with who you are. (Warts-n-all.)

What I learned is .. that it's not easy to do that. Because you have to explore yourself. Most people would rather that you stick needles in their eyes .. than explore the dark recesses of their own psyche.

It's very difficult to get to a place where you can give voice to whatever the fuck you need to speak to .. and say whatever things you might happen to need to say.

What I am saying here .. is that your song reminded me of a Dylan song .. that helped me put into words 'uncomfortable things' that had been bothering me inside.

And once I saw the words that spoke to this thing .. then I was okay with it. That a very cool thing.

It didnt mean that there was no longer any pain or heartache with the thing. It merely meant that I was now okay with these things.

Some might call this 'closure'. So it is like Dylan's lyrics provided me with a vehicle to closure.

(In this song, Dylan is on the darkside of the road. I've been there, too, Selena.)

» The Vin Diesel Cover

Speaking of cool things .. did you hear the cover by Vin Diesel? (His Instagram note.)

I think he likes you.

» Backing Track for Laguna Beach Vibes

Have you you seen this video titled Laguna Beach Vibes, which uses your song as a backing track?

This is actually a great little video that was put together by this dude named Matt Roche. Good quality. Good shots. Good locations.

I know all these locations in this video. My feet have been on all these beaches. Many times. The video actually had me waxing nostalgic.

I lived in Laguna for 10 years. My son was born in Laguna. I met his mom in Laguna .. before she was his mom. (She was tight with the wife of the city manager.)

Note that this section on Laguna Beach vibes has been moved to its own page .. see here » First Days of the Transition to Starving Writer.

I included a link at the end of that page which will return you here.

» I had a Dream, Too, Selena

I probably shouldnt tell you this, Selena .. but I had a dream, too. (I've actually had many of them.)

The one where I was whacked out after that super ass-kicking clinical trial .. whoa. That was very trippy.

They shoot you up with a dose of this genetically-engineered smallpox virus. (Smallpox is nasty shit.) This virus, which contains genetic instructions, is tweaked so that it doesnt have enough genetic information to attach itself to your healthy cells.

But, because cancer cells contain more genetic code, the tweaked smallpox virus can attach itself to them. A week or two later and they begin to reproduce so quickly that they blow themselves up.

When they told me that, I said, "Sign me up .. sign me for some of that genetically-engineered virus-code that is designed to seek and destroy cancer cells."

You shiver hard for an hour or two and this is exhausting. I slept hard for 14 or 16 hours. The vividness of that dream. And it seemed to speak some significance .. but how can you ever really say what a dream is saying to you?

They say we dont usually dream in color, but this was very much about color. (Purple and green.)

I used to live with this girl who had a read a book on dreams and interpretations. "Tell me your dreams," she would sometimes say, first thing in the morning.

She was sort of a free-spirit, wild-child type-of-girl. So she was always doing hippie stuff like that .. hugging trees and whatnot.

I'm so happy for you, Selena .. and I'm not the only one.

» A Thing with Selena

I hesitate to mention this, but I feel a thing with you .. particularly after I visited your instagram page.

It's different from the thing that I feel with Ariana .. but a thing nonetheless.

John Cena says that the stuff you are doing with young girls is very cool. I could not agree more.

» Bad Liar

May 18, 2017 - Oh, I see you have released a new song » Bad Liar.

This is the kind of shit right here that makes guys crazy. They lose their minds over stuff like this. I mean, it's not terribly difficult to see why.

I can see why Brad Pitt was so interested in you.

With some girls, the sex is so good that it fucks with your head. You can actually feel her putting the zap on your ass. It's an awesome thing.

I bet that Tiffany knows exactly what I'm talking about (at t=4:45).

» It's Like You Become a Different Person

I have had a decent number of Chemistry classes, both in the military and in college. Chemistry studies how different substances react when they are exposed to each other.

We can apply these same principles to two lovers. No? Is it not true that some people tend to bring out the best in us, while others tend to bring out the worst?

My point in mentioning Chemistry here is that we become different individuals when we are exposed to different people. Particularly if this exposure involves an intimate relationship that is built on trust (.. and good, healthy sex).

Do you not feel like a different person when you are involved with different people emotionally?

I was just referencing David Byrne myself. I have never done that before. We must vibing on some level.

I do not know what level this is, Selena .. but I know that I like it.

What do you think of this trailer for Patti Cake$ that came out yesterday? Manohla likes it.

» Sculpting an Image vs Building a Self

I saw that thing you did with Ryan. Where you talk about the effort that goes into massaging and crafting and sculpting the image that you present to the world.

Ryan talks about 'layers'. I have addressed this thing myself .. tho from a different angle.

Afterwards, I caught myself thinking about this. (I wasnt trying to.) I very much remember when I began to shift over into a more real and genuine and authentic sense of myself.

Until that point I very much sculpted and crafted the image that I painted for the world. I put a lot of effort into that.

» An Identity Crisis

I dont really want to delve too deeply into this thing .. because it represents somewhat of a crisis in my life.

We all have crises from time to time. The crises of life come to us all .. tho they may take different forms for different people.

This thing here when I shifted over from a sculptor of the image that I displayed to the world .. to being a more real and genuine and honest and authentic person ..

.. my thing, I feel, is different from your thing. Because you are Selena fucking Gomez .. you are the Queen of Instagram. Yet I can still recognize certain similarities.

I can tell that I want to speak to this thing .. because I feel that you will feel me. But I am not sure exactly what I want to say. But I can feel something leading me in that direction.

» Ginger Got Better After She Became Transparent

Sometimes other people can say the same thing in a way that is better than we can say it ourselves .. even tho we have had this experience, and we have lived through this thing.

I thought of this thing when I heard Ginger Zee say (at t=2:35 here):

"For me, it took that huge step of committing myself, getting over the embarrassment, saying, 'I am READY TO BE TRANSPARENT. I have a problem.' And once I did that, I got better."

Notice particularly the part where she said that got better after she was » ready to be transparent.

See .. this is exactly the mechanism at play that I am trying to describe here.

It is a different thing that she is applying this principle to .. but, at least part of this mechanism involves a person no longer giving a fuck what people think of him, and becoming more concerned with self-improvement .. than spending so much time-n-energy massaging the superficial image of ourselves that we present to others.

I learned a lot of this type of stuff from the Dog, but it still took me a long time to make progress in this direction. Because it's not easy to do.

Notice also how she said that it was a "huge step" .. because it does indeed feel like a huge step. It almost feels like a bigger step than you are able to take. It is definitely beyond your comfort zone.

It feels like this life-shift is something that you would never do unless you absolutely had to .. something that was a matter of survival .. as it clearly was for Ginger.

» Where to Focus Your Effort and Energy?

But one thing that I want to say .. is how much effort can go into the crafting and sculpting of your image. To a degree, this involves the notion of » presentation.

And if you spend all your time and energy working on the external image, you neglect the soul behind the dazzle. (I know you feel me here.)

» Whitney is Feeling Me, Too

[ This is probably why Whitney Houston just wanted to Be Herself. Because it can be exhausting to keep pretending that you're somebody you're not. ]

I dont really want to go back to that place of crisis. I can feel myself trying to figure out how I can extract the essence of the experience without reliving the trauma and the drama of the crisis.

» A Major Turning Point Toward Psychological Health

But I can tell now, looking back, that it was indeed one of the major turning points in my life .. where basically, I took all the effort and energy that I was using to craft and sculpt that external image .. and began using that energy and effort to work on improving my soul.

Well, not all of my energy. But definitely a major chunk of it. Sometimes more, sometimes less .. depending.

And, yes .. it does require some courage and self-possession and self-confidence.

The less that we feel our soul needs to be hidden or its appearance needs enhancing .. the more we feel free to display our true souls without artifice.

We try to craft and sculpt our image based on what society and the culture defines. But who wants to live their lives according to somebody else's rules and values?

There is an aspect here, in living your life according to your own values, of simply not giving a fuck anymore. If people cant or won't accept us for who you are, then maybe these are not really people who we want to be associated with anyway.

I could so get off on a tangent here. There's no telling where this rabbit hole would go. Dont tempt me.

» Able to Relate?

So let me change the subject and say here .. that I thought that, more than most other recording artists .. I thought that you would be able to relate to how Ariana must be feeling, following the thing in Manchester. Because of what happened to Christina.

I tried, but I was not able.

I mean, how can you not feel responsible in some way? No matter how indirect. How can it not mess with your head?

» In a Good Place

I was glad to hear that you were in a good place .. "in a very-happy-state-of-everything right now".

Didnt I tell you that you girls need to take off a few months here-n-there? .. in order to screw your head back on straight.

» Kirby Cracked

Back when I was doing nuclear deterrent patrols with the Navy .. we would do 3½ months at sea followed by 3½ months of fucking off in Hawaii.

The reason that they came up with 3½ month .. was because that was the length of time that a crew could spend confined insie a big, black, hard tube .. before folks started cracking. At least, this is what they told us. We seamen. Nuclear-grade seamen.

On the patrol before I arrived, they had a dude who cracked. His name was Kirby. They kept Kirby, I'm told, on powerful zombie meds until they could get to a place where they could off-load him to a helicopter that could ferry him away.

I never met Kirby myself, but I would hear the others saying things like, "Don't Kirby-out on me now." Or, "I think I might KIrby-out." I bet that Tom Hanks knows (at t=0:10) exactly what I am talking about here.

Kirby was standing watch (in Engineroom lower level) butt-ass naked .. wearing nothing but his boondockers. Chief climbed down the ladder and said, "How're you doing, Kirby? How're you feeling today?"

» Because She Did

Oh, I saw that thing where you said about Francia, "Because she did."

Very cool. You are really a thoughtful, beautiful creature. I can see why Abel likes you.

These things in life that cause us to come face-to-face with our own mortality .. these things suck pretty badly, I think you would agree.

But they give us something that I dont think that we can get any other way.

They tend to put our lives in perspective .. a perspective we didnt have before. They clarify what is important and what is not so important.

Say hi to Francia for me.

» Vibing at Multiple Meaningful Wavelengths

With this new development .. where you have faced your own mortality .. this puts us on a similar wavelength, so to speak.

[ Notice how Harvey says about you at t=1:18 here, "She had a near-death experience. That changes people."

It does change people. It re-priorities your priorities. It reorganizes your values.

It gives you soul-shaking insight into what is really important in life .. and what is not. ]

There comes an unspoken mutual understanding among people who experience similar life-crises. The experience is common for soldiers who fought together in war .. though certainly not limited to them.

And we already resonate at the wavelength expressed by-grace-through-faith.

This feels like a natural resonance that I am always on the look-out for. It is a comfortable thing where you neednt exert much effort to make it work. You almost can't stop it from working.

Is it just me .. or does it not feel like that? (Without even trying.)

You find yourself thinking, "This person gets me .. because we have had similar experiences and we hold similar values." 

When I see patterns matching in an existentially curious sort-of-way .. I can't help but think that it means something.

But, if it does, it is never clear.

But really, the #1 point of agreement that you and I have, Selena .. is that we both wants to kick Justin's butt.

Is his song Friends really about you?

The end. ■

Prevous page » Aggressive and Predatory Approaches Toward Young, Sexually-Attractive Women - Page Two.

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