The Dark Side of the Morning

Hi Selena.

I see that you have released a new song .. with your friend, Mr. Kygo, the Norwegian. (I like Norwegians. I mean, who doesnt?) It definitely lends a nice, international feel to the song.

Selena and Kygo

Both of you must be so stoked. This is a very good song. It was released only a few days ago (the 15th, the day after Valentines day) and already has over 10 million views. (At least half of those are mine.)

» Everybody Loves It

I watched a handful of reactions, and everybody agrees that it does indeed kick much ass.

Reaction video to It Aint Me

The most interesting reaction came from a guy who said that he felt you had always been searching for your true voice.

And he was so happy with this song because he felt like you had finally found your true voice.

» Finding Your Own True Voice

I am not familiar enough with your work to know whether this guy knew what he was talking about .. but I do know that, when you finally get your voice .. this is sort of like the place that you start from .. even tho it seems like it takes a long-ass time to get there.

"Will I ever get there?" you wonder.

I touched on this aspect with Fergie a little.

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It would be easy for me to be misunderstood here, but I trust that you will understand when I say that .. you sometimes need something that kicks you swiftly in the nuts .. over into your true voice.

"Ah, there it is."

I can feel myself waxing abstract here .. and abstract writing makes me feel like I dont really know what I'm talking about .. because I have to detach from normal things.

My critic starts saying, "What are you talking about here? The chemo has obviously toasted more than just a few neurons."

You know, Selena .. the first time I ever read something about this "finding your voice" thing .. I thought, "That sounds like such pretentious bullshit." How times have changed, eh?

» I was Definitely not Expecting this from Selena

Your song starts deceptively low-key and understated. A number of reactioners said, "Oh, I was definitely not expecting this from Selena." Then they get surprised as the song progresses.

Another common comment is how people find your voice soothing. They feel that you have a soothing voice. And here I would have to agree.

Everybody was very much looking forward to seeing what you were coming back with .. after returning from your stint in rehab.

Everybody seems so proud of you .. because everybody knows that it is not easy to rebound from difficult and challenging periods in our lives.

It's definitely a song that makes you want to turn it up.

» Justin Seems Jealous

Everybody feels sure that Justin is the primary target of this song. If so, these types of things can be very cathartic and liberating. In this sense, this song seems like a special song, no?

When I saw and heard some of the things that Justin had said about Abel, the voice in my head said, "Justin is jealous." (Who can blame him, really?)

What is it about you, Selena .. making both Brad and Justin crazy? And it seems like just yesterday when I heard James Franco saying some very nice things about you. You obviously put the zap on his ass.

Your movie looks good. Steinbeck speaks to social issues with full fucking strength. I need to get in shape before reading Steinbeck. I neeed to work-out for a good six months before attempting to read a Steinbeck novel.

Selena In Dubious Battle

Selena, you have to go easy on these guys. Take it slow. Dont give them too much of your Selena juicy-juice all at once. They cant handle it undiluted. It makes them crazy.

Justin shouldnt feel jealous, tho .. because he have any supermodel he wants.

» How Closely do Your Lyrics Match Real Life?

Regarding the lyrics .. I found myself wondering how closely your lyrics play off of real-life (existentially accurate) experiences. Because, for me, this is the thing that takes this song to the next level.

I understand the massaging of things that goes on in writing. Sometimes you use the exact experience, and sometimes it is just easier and better to use a representative pattern.

In other words, if you were really sipping whiskey neat with Justin .. then this would be a special type of song. But that's just me.

When I write, for example, that I should not have let that renter's policy expire .. this is a little existential thing that juices my writing, I feel.

» The Dark Side of the Morning is a Nice Way of Saying the Night

[ I am trying to write a little thing right here, but it is not letting me do it. The server is throwing an error. Very weird. I will need to look into that later. There is something in the text that the server is refusing. It has to do with the title of today's entry. Something in one of your lyrics spoke to me. Oh, I think that I found the problem. It does not like when I use the word » s.e.l.e.c.t.e.d. That is a word that is used as a SQL command, which is a language used to talk to databases. Yeah, that's definitely the problem-word. I cannot even have that word in a link, so I cant even link to the SQL command there on that SQL page. It must be some sort of security thing, but it should not be doing that here. But Movable Type does indeed use/access (write to) a database. I can tell that the security here on the new server is cranked up higher than it was at the old server. I do not deal with money or selling things, so I tend to not be so strict on the server's security settings. Sometimes it can take a while before you get a new server dialed in just the way you want. Anyway, I think that my point in mentioning my title here in the section on lyrics that match real-life .. is that I am familiar with the darkside of the morning. You know.]

Wheatfield with Crows (1890) Vincent Van Gogh

[ Oh, look at this, Selena. That sounds very cool. A look at one of the most famous artists ever .. using his own art in a creative way. A portrait of an artist. I am very much into portraits of artists. Because they usually make me feel less fucked-up. Even the concept for the movie itself is cool. An entirely hand-painted film. The effect reminds me of what you see at the Pageant of the Masters. The idea for the film is kind of recursive .. artistically recursive. 120 artists recruited from all over the world. I bet that the energy there was electric. It took 4 years to make. This video says 5 years. So many artists sympathize with Vincent .. who struggled for 8 years, and often existed at a level where he could barely afford to eat. I think that he sold one painting in his life for $80. At t=7:30 here, the lady there says that, even more than his art, it is his STORY that captures everyone's imagination. We should go see it when it comes out. Just me-n-you. Nobody else. ]

Loving Vincent | An entirely hand-painted film

» Big Girl Stuff at the AMAs

Your AMA speech was most impressive. That is big-girl stuff.

Didnt I tell you girls that you need to take a break every now-n-then and get some down-time?

When I was writing to you before, that was me using Ariana to get to you. But this writing here is more of a one-on-one type of thing. It certainly feels more one-on-one, doesnt it? (I am a one-on-one type-of-guy myself.)

» Still the Queen of Instagram

I just noticed that .. when I wrote to you last summer (.. the summer of love) you had 92 million followers on Instagram. Now you have 110.

What does that feel like? Because that's a lot of people.

Selena hits 110 million followers on Instagram

Do you feel that having so many followers makes you a political force? Without you even trying to be? I thought about some of these things with Marshall.

» Nuclear Wintour

Speaking of the question "What's it feel like?..." .. while I was over there at your Instagram page, I couldnt help but notice that photo of you sitting there with Anna Wintour. Anna Fucking Wintour.

Selena with Dame Anna Wintour Editor of Vogue

And fuck if you dont look like you belong. Say hi to Anna for me, next time you see her.

Have you seen her garden? I love gardens.

Did you know that people call her Nuclear Wintour? for her "aloof and demanding personality."

When I saw that, I thought, "You gotta be shittin' me." (Along these lines the apocalypse intersecting with fashion .. here is an interesting title.)

If she has been there at Vogue for that long, then she has mad skills. I bet that she has seen some shit.

» Fashion is Very Much About Presentation

Speaking of fashion people .. do you know Vera Wang? She was the youngest editor at Vogue. (I see you, Vera. I like your story. I like your images.)

Vera Wang's love-story with Paris

I know almost nothing about the fashion world .. but fashion is all about presentation. It is an external-surface thing.

A very nice thing that is obviously important in certain circumstances .. circumstances that singers such as yourself no doubt encounter on a frequent basis.

I was talking to Ariana about this.

» You Still Need to Continue to do the Personal Work Toward Growth

One of the things that I caught myself thinking about .. regarding girls like you and Ariana .. is something that I found in my own life.

Just because you have this thing .. doesnt mean that you dont need to continue to do the personal work involved in personal growth .. which includes educating yourself, and becoming a student of what you do.

I mean, you certainly can avoid doing the work .. because sometimes it is not so fun to do. But you eventually come to the end of the line .. if you just run with your thing .. without doing the personal work .. then you sort of come to the end.

I feel confident that you know exactly what I am talking about. There is an element of public-life vs private-life at play here. You need balance.

I have found the growth thing tends to come in spurts. You do much work .. and then something happens that triggers the growth. It's not a linear thing.

» Tarantino on Harvey Weinstein

Speaking of doing the work .. what do you think about what Quentin Tarantino said about Harvey Weinstein's sexual harassment and rape?

Quentin Tarantino speaks to Harvey Weinstein's sexual harassment

Notice where he says "If I had done the work I should have done ..."

What 'work' do you think he is talking about there, Selena? This writer/director.

He does not come right out and say, "I did not do the work," .. but that is definitely the takeaway, no?

It is not easy to do the work. A million things try to climb in your way .. of doing the work. Persistent little fuckers.

And that's not even doing the work. That is just getting to a place where you can do the work.

I saw where Tarantino said that he needed to take a few days to digest things before he commented.

This speaks to me. Tho I am not going to tell you what it says. Not right now, anyway.

» The Well vs the Rivers

Scripture talks about the believer having both "a well of water" inside of them, and also "rivers" flowing out of them.

Floating down a river is the easiest thing. The river takes you to where you need to go. All you have to do is stay with it.

It requires more effort to draw water from a well. The well is for you .. while the rivers are for others.

To a degree, this entry is about the rivers vs the well .. in that you can go only so far without doing the work necessary to take you to the difficult places.

Easy is nice, sure .. but easy can become boring. Growth requires conquering ever greater challenges. No?

I like this section on the well of water because this where she says, "Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet."

Do you ever know things that you cannot possibly know?

» Echoes of Dylan's Voice

Speaking of non-linear things .. I noticed that your new song has an interesting title .. that is very close to the title of a Dylan song.

The Ballad of Bob DylanAn oft-covered Dylan song.

Both songs approach the same, or a similar theme.

The song even begins with Dylan-like guitar riffs.

(I like Dylan. You know. This is interesting.)

And your vocals contain a definite country feel.

[ You are from Texas, no?

They say that Texas girls know how to take care of their men.

Is this true?

Then again, Mary Karr is from Texas .. and she freely admits to being not a very nice person. ]

When you sing the words, "had enough" .. you sound like you have really had enough. Very believable.

Compare your vocals there with the way that Hailee sang "Let me go" at the end of this song. She touches upon some themes that I am familiar with.

Someone you dont have to change

She does this mumbly thing with some of her enunciation. Mumbly is not the right word, but you know what I mean. Particularly when she sings, "Picture perfect."

Here I feel like Mr. Kygo was serving up a vehicle that was going to work for you.

And the way that he takes the song from a country flavor to ass-kicking EDM .. that was very cool. Everybody was impressed by that. (Me, too.) It's not easy to make things look easy.

I really like the acoustic spacial quality of the song.

» The Therapeutic Aspect of Speaking to Difficult & Frightening Things

Freud discovered that the very act of being able to put into words .. things that may have been bothering us or tormenting us .. can sometimes be curative.

My buddy, the Dog .. he is able to put into words pretty much anything he needs to. And he strikes me as one of the most psychologically healthy people I know.

Sometimes I will stop him and say, "Dog, give me a sec to wrap my head around that, okay?" And all the while I will be wondering, "How can he just come right out and say such deeply personal and vulnerable things like it's nothing? I wish I could do that."

Because this speaks such awesome levels of self-confidence and self-awareness, and being comfortable in your own skin and with who you are. (Warts-n-all.)

What I learned is .. that it's not easy to do that. Because you have to explore yourself. Most people would rather that you stick needles in their eyes .. than explore the dark recesses of their own psyche.

It's very difficult to get to a place where you can give voice to whatever the fuck you need to speak to .. and say whatever things you might happen to need to say.

What I am saying here .. is that your song reminded me of a Dylan song .. that helped me put into words 'uncomfortable things' that had been bothering me inside.

And once I saw the words that spoke to this thing .. then I was okay with it. That a very cool thing.

It didnt mean that there was no longer any pain or heartache with the thing. It merely meant that I was now okay with these things.

Some might call this 'closure'. So it is like Dylan's lyrics provided me with a vehicle to closure.

(In this song, Dylan is on the darkside of the road. I've been there, too, Selena.)

» The Vin Diesel Cover

Speaking of cool things .. did you hear the cover by Vin Diesel? (His Instagram note.)

Vin Diesel thanks Selena Gomez for singing It Aint Me

» I had a Dream, Too, Selena

I probably shouldnt tell you this, Selena .. but I had a dream, too. (I've actually had many of them.)

The one where I was whacked out after that super ass-kicking clinical trial .. whoa. That was very trippy.

They shoot you up with a dose of this genetically-engineered smallpox virus. (Smallpox is nasty shit.) This virus, which contains genetic instructions, is tweaked so that it doesnt have enough genetic information to attach itself to your healthy cells.

But, because cancer cells contain more genetic code, the tweaked smallpox virus can attach itself to them. A week or two later and they begin to reproduce so quickly that they blow themselves up.

When they told me that, I said, "Sign me up .. sign me for some of that genetically-engineered virus-code that is designed to seek and destroy cancer cells."

You shiver hard for an hour or two and this is exhausting. I slept hard for 14 or 16 hours. The vividness of that dream. And it seemed to speak some significance .. but how can you ever really say what a dream is saying to you?

They say we dont usually dream in color, but this was very much about color. (Purple and green.)

I used to live with this girl who had a read a book on dreams and interpretations. "Tell me your dreams," she would sometimes say, first thing in the morning.

She was sort of a free-spirit, wild-child type-of-girl. So she was always doing hippie stuff like that .. hugging trees and whatnot.

I'm so happy for you, Selena .. and I'm not the only one.

» A Thing with Selena

I hesitate to mention this, but I feel a thing with you .. particularly after I visited your instagram page.

It's different from the thing that I feel with Ariana .. but a thing nonetheless.

John Cena says that the stuff you are doing with young girls is very cool. I could not agree more.

» Bad Liar

May 18, 2017 - Oh, I see you have released a new song » Bad Liar.

Selena Gomez | Bad Liar

This is the kind of shit right here that makes guys crazy. They lose their minds over stuff like this. I mean, it's not terribly difficult to see why.

I can see why Brad Pitt was so interested in you.

With some girls, the sex is so good that it fucks with your head. You can actually feel her putting the zap on your ass. It's an awesome thing.

I bet that Tiffany knows exactly what I'm talking about (at t=4:45).

» It's Like You Become a Different Person

I have had a decent number of Chemistry classes, both in the military and in college. Chemistry studies how different substances react when they are exposed to each other.

We can apply these same principles to two lovers. No? Is it not true that some people tend to bring out the best in us, while others tend to bring out the worst?

My point in mentioning Chemistry here is that we become different individuals when we are exposed to different people. Particularly if this exposure involves an intimate relationship that is built on trust (.. and good, healthy sex).

Do you not feel like a different person when you are involved with different people emotionally?

I was just referencing David Byrne myself. I have never done that before. We must vibing on some level.

I do not know what level this is, Selena .. but I know that I like it.

What do you think of this trailer for Patti Cake$ that came out yesterday? Manohla likes it.

» Sculpting an Image vs Building a Self

I saw that thing you did with Ryan. Where you talk about the effort that goes into massaging and crafting and sculpting the image that you present to the world.

Ryan talks about 'layers'. I have addressed this thing myself .. tho from a different angle.

Afterwards, I caught myself thinking about this. (I wasnt trying to.) I very much remember when I began to shift over into a more real and genuine and authentic sense of myself. 

Until that point I very much sculpted and crafted the image that I painted for the world. I put a lot of effort into that.

» An Identity Crisis

I dont really want to delve too deeply into this thing .. because it represents somewhat of a crisis in my life.

We all have crises from time to time. The crises of life come to us all .. tho they may take different forms to different people.

This thing here when I shifted over from a sculptor of the image that I displayed to the world .. to being a more real and genuine and honest and authentic person ..

.. my thing, I feel, is different from your thing. Because you are Selena fucking Gomez .. you are the Queen of Instagram. Yet I can still recognize certain similarities.

I can tell that I want to speak to this thing .. because I feel that you will feel me. But I am not sure exactly what I want to say. But I can feel something leading me in that direction.

» Where to Focus Your Effort and Energy?

But one thing that I want to say .. is how much effort can go into the crafting and sculpting of your image. To a degree, this involves the notion of » presentation.

And if you spend all your time and energy working on the external image, you neglect the soul behind the dazzle. (I know you feel me here.)

» Whitney is Feeling Me, Too

[ This is probably why Whitney Houston just wanted to Be Herself. Because it can be exhausting to keep pretending that you're somebody you're not. ]

I dont really want to go back to that place of crisis. I can feel myself trying to figure out how I can extract the essence of the experience without reliving the trauma and the drama of the crisis.

» A Major Turning Point Toward Psychological Health

But I can tell now, looking back, that it was indeed one of the major turning points in my life .. where basically, I took all the effort and energy that I was using to craft and sculpt that external image .. and began using that energy and effort to work on improving my soul.

Well, not all of my energy. But definitely a major chunk of it. Sometimes more, sometimes less .. depending.

And, yes .. it does require some courage and self-possession and self-confidence.

The less that we feel our soul needs to be hidden or its appearance needs enhancing .. the more we feel free to display our true souls without artifice.

We try to craft and sculpt our image based on what society and the culture defines. But who wants to live their lives according to somebody else's rules and values?

There is an aspect here, in living your life according to your own values, of simply not giving a fuck anymore. If people cant or won't accept us for who you are, then maybe these are not really people who we want to be associated with anyway.

I could so get off on a tangent here. There's no telling where this rabbit hole would go. Dont tempt me.

» Able to Relate?

So let me change the subject and say here .. that I thought that, more than most other recording artists .. I thought that you would be able to relate to how Ariana must be feeling, following the thing in Manchester. Because of what happened to Christina.

I tried, but I was not able.

I mean, how can you not feel responsible in some way? No matter how indirect. How can it not mess with your head?

» In a Good Place

I was glad to hear that you were in a good place .. "in a very-happy-state-of-everything right now".

Didnt I tell you that you girls need to take off a few months here-n-there? .. in order to screw your head back on straight.

» Kirby Cracked

Back when I was doing nuclear deterrent patrols with the Navy .. we would do 3½ months at sea followed by 3½ months of fucking off in Hawaii.

The reason that they came up with 3½ month .. was because that was the length of time that a crew could spend confined insie a big, black, hard tube .. before folks started cracking. At least, this is what they told us. We seamen. Nuclear-grade seamen.

On the patrol before I arrived, they had a dude who cracked. His name was Kirby. They kept Kirby, I'm told, on powerful zombie meds until they could get to a place where they could off-load him to a helicopter that could ferry him away.

I never met Kirby myself, but I would hear the others saying things like, "Don't Kirby-out on me now." Or, "I think I might KIrby-out." I bet that Tom Hanks knows (at t=0:10) exactly what I am talking about here.

Tom Hanks speaks on Harvey Weinstein as his name becoming a noun and a verb October, 2017

Kirby was standing watch (in Engineroom lower level) butt-ass naked .. wearing nothing but his boondockers. Chief climbed down the ladder and said, "How're you doing, Kirby? How're you feeling today?"

The end. ■

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on February 19, 2017 2:19 PM.

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