Girly, I was really trying not to write this entry today. I was distracting myself in a million different ways. But I cant seem to quit you either.
(It looks like we're stuck with each other.)
» Why Am I Writing This and Not That?
From a certain perspective, I watch myself work with you. And I can see that one of the key determinants in whether or not I write about a certain thing is » the range of themes that come into play.
And how distinctive these themes are that are brought into play. And also whether I have firsthand experience regarding these themes. And how much firsthand experience I might happen to have.
And this song opens up such things for me. (Write what only you can write.)
Sometimes I catch myself wondering, "Is she doing that on purpose (.. to fuck with me)? Or are we simply resonating naturally?"
These things start talking to me. And if these things being said are very unique .. then such things demand more forcefully to be written. Because we might never get back here again.
If I continued down this tangent much further, I would start to sound like a nutcase.
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••• today's entry continues here below •••
» What are We Really Looking for in a Relationship?
But this song deals with remaining in a relationship that is less than optimal .. and every relationship offers a number of advantages and disadvantages.
It depends on what we are looking for in a relationship. We might be looking for something very different in a relationship .. than what others are looking for.
A lot of this simply comes down to knowing thyself. Because then you will know what you will really need out of a relationship .. as compared to what you simply want. (Belly knows what I am talking about.)
And what you can give. What you can provide. What you can contribute. What you bring to the table.
But truly knowing yourself is much more difficult to do than it sounds.
Do I have any firsthand experience remaining in a sub-optimal relationship? Where to begin?
» At What Point Does a Relationship become Dysfunctional?
This is a large subject. There is much ground to cover. So much ground.
For example, what if we are looking for emotional intimacy in a relationship .. but our partner is not? Or if our partner is simply not capable of such a thing? (Whatever the reason might happen to be.)
Regarding the path that is represented by the themes contained in this song .. I cannot help but feel that I have explored so much further down this path .. than most people could imagine.
I could be wrong, of course .. because I dont know the nature of everyone's relationship. But I do know myself better than most people know themselves.
If someone has more experience than me in this area .. then that would be surprising.
» Nine Lives
Your friend, Mr. Cashmere Cat, released his debut album, titled » 9. (I have a feeling that his next album will be titled » 8.)
He is a Norwegian, like Mr. Kygo. (Cashmere actually comes from a goat.) I like Norwegians. I mean, who doesnt?
This is a very cool thing that these people do (such as Calvin Harris) .. working with an assortment of super-cool artists such as yourself.
If I were a jealous person .. and not the most gifted writer of his generation .. then I might be tempted to feel jealous.
[ Girly, I can tell that my ego likes you. He likes you a lot. He likes you because you make him feel so good .. so incredibly good.
Many times has he made mad love to you. And afterwards, there was never anything left of you. Too bad for you. ]
» Ulterior Motives
The reason why I might feel jealous .. is because, if I were one of them .. and I knew how to work their mojo like they do ..
.. then I could call you up .. and say, "What's shaking, girly? I have this song playing in my head and it has your name on it."
"Why dont we get together up in some alpine village in Austria over the holidays? And I'll share my vision with you."
Now, you will naturally think that our rendezvous will be all about the song. But, really .. I would have ulterior motives.
» More Powerful
I watched a handful of reaction videos. Everybody was commenting on how good your vocals sound.
One girl even said (at t=0:45) » "She sounds different .. she sounds really good."
For example, Dylan said that he felt you have been training your voice, and that your voice sounds even better than before, and that it sounds » more powerful.
» Naturally Attracted to Powerful Things
I would have to agree. And you know how I feel about powerful things. (Powerful things turn me on something ferocious.)
Girly, when guys say these kinds of things about you .. this makes me wanna do naughty things to you. Very naughty, indeed.
I should not describe these naughty things that I want to do to you. I mean, why incriminate myself like that?
Comments like this speak to who you are as a person, as a human being. They suggest a trajectory, a vector.
» Keeping Up
These types of comments and observations and reactions suggest to me that » you can keep up.
In the back of my head I am wondering, "Does this mean that I'm going to have to up my game yet again?"
Some people feel that once a relationship stops growing and developing .. that it has started to die.
It's obviously not an easy thing to do what you do .. or everybody would be doing it. And I noticed that you havent shaved off all your hair yet. (You know what that means.)
» Can You Feel Me Playing Off of You?
Much of what I do here, writing in these entries that I write to you .. is simply responding to you. To what you have done. To some song that you have sung.
I try to play off your particular songs in a way that signs my response in a way that no one else could. I season it with own special flavor. My own special sauce. I bet that Belly knows what I am talking about.
I only do this with girls I really like. (Do girls like it when guys write about them? To them?)
» Hearing New Things in Your Voice
I was hearing things in your voice .. things that I have never heard before. I am not sure if I will be detailing these things.
How to put such things into words?
One of the things that I heard in your voice was a maturity. A greater maturity.
I am not sure whether this maturity is tied to an element of vulnerability. (We must grow and become confident in ourselves before we can let ourselves become vulnerable.)
You have always brought a sense of confidence to your singing, but I hear more confidence here.
» Sidney Sells Out in Seconds?
Girly, did your Sydney concert really sell out in 10 seconds? That would certainly suck.
Did you notice that the folks at the Daily Mail included that photo of you here. You know the one I'm talking about.
The one that originally got my attention. The one that started it all. (Cant say that I really blame them.)
That is a good-quality image of you that they have.
» She Must be Somebody
Girly, girly, girly .. look at you here. What I am going to do with you?
Were you trying to get my attention here? Were you doing this on purpose? Or did it just kind of happen?
It was your youthful and boldly flirtatious sexuality that spoke to me in this photo. "Oh, this is exactly what I'm looking for," I thought.
Sometimes we dont even know what it is that we are looking for .. until we actually find it.
(Because you reminded me of this girl.)
I had never heard of you before .. not before that Easter shindig at the White House with Jim Carrey.
I was thinking, "She's performing at the White House. She must be somebody."
See .. I was right. My intuition proved accurate yet again.
But, my how things have changed.
The end .. for now. ■
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Flirting with Danger - Page One.
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