Flirting with the Queen of Psycho-Erotic Mindfuckery

••• today's entry continues here below •••

I wonder what she thinks about Effy Blue's assertion that society's idea of finding "the one" .. one person to satisfy all your needs and desires ..

.. is a fantasy. A big, fat fantasy.

Relationships can be the source of our greatest joys or our greatest sorrows .. so I have devoted considerable resources to trying to figure them out.

Why do some seem to work so well with little or no effort? .. while others do not work despite superhuman amounts of effort?

» What Do You Think About the Idea of Making a Baby?

I mean, in her own sexy way, she basically presents you with the idea of making a baby with her.

If nothing else, it is very ballsy thing that she does.

Now, even the mere 'idea' of making a baby is a big deal. A very big deal .. which is probably why her file goes so deep, so quickly.

There are things, I have noticed, that operate below the level of your rational, logical mind. Nietzsche taps into these areas when he talks about values and morals.

You can actually feel such things working you on a deeper level. You can feel them affecting you.

And they are not things that you can deal with by trying to make sense of them. By understanding them logically.

It's just a tiny file with an obscure title ( oh is it now ) .. so I admit that I wasnt expecting to hear very much.

» A Direct Challenge to the King of Edging

Before I heard this Let's-Make-a-Baby file, I felt that her 60-min file titled » 7 Days of Edging .. was the most erotic thing I had ever heard .. and I had heard plenty before that.

After listening to one of the last days, #5 or 6, I remember saying to myself out loud, "That's the sexiest thing I have ever heard."

I bet that Amy knows what I am talking about. Here she is launching her annual No Nut November (3 Nov 2019) ..

.. where she encourages you to "Stay strong," .. from her perch there just below you.

Not for the faint of heart, my friend. Only the strongest will even attempt such a thing.

I said, "sexiest," in regard to Shibby's file » 7 Days of Edging .. but that's not exactly what I meant. It is more of a display of her practiced erotic skillset. Using nothing but her voice.

This was when my respect for her really climbed. I saw her demonstrate skills in such a way that gave me respect for what she is able to do, and for the person behind the execution of these skills.

I call it the soul behind the dazzle. It was like seeing a part of her that I hadnt seen before.

» Proceeding to Deep Places Without Triggering Alarms

See .. in order to go deep with me, she needs to know how to proceed without activating any of my psychological alarms. Any of my intruder alerts. Any of my sensors designed to detect hostile foreign actors.

I have developed good defense mechanisms, good boundaries that are necessary for me .. because of who I am and because of the life-experiences that have helped forge those parts of my psyche, as I responded to these life-experiences.

Now I have remained in relationships with people who were setting of these alarms as not a good match for me. But I remained with them to explore more fully the nature of their psychology. (How they viewed the world and relationships and why.)

The Dog once told me that the reason why psycho-chicks are attracted to me .. is because I am so stable. So mentally and emotionally stable. He said I had a Zen-like approach to life .. especially the shittier aspects of life.

I bet that Ariana knows what I am talking about.

I did not really like it when the Dog said that. I mean, who wants to attract psycho-chicks?

I want to attract chicks who are kind and loving and nurturing and thoughtful and considerate and fun and playful and who are great lovers (.. and who give the best blowjobs). I could continue along these lines, but you feel me.

If you attract enough psycho-chicks over the years .. because you happen to be so mentally and emotionally stable .. that they simply can't help themselves .. then you learn to erect vetting mechanisms and prudent defenses.

You learn pretty quickly.

One of the most remarkable things that anybody has ever said to me .. was when the Dog said, "Dog, I could not do what you you do."

» Wait 'Til You Hear About the Surprise Your Psycho Girlfriend has in Store for You

Speaking of psycho girlfriends, check out this ASMR chick (22 July 2019) .. at Mermaid Whispers.

She had me laughing out loud. It was late at night, so I was trying to be quiet .. so I didnt wake anybody. But I couldnt help myself.

She is very good at what she does. Very clever. Very witty. Very intelligent. I was impressed.

Telling a complete story from a one-sided dialogue strikes me as a tricky thing to pull off.

"Why are you so pale?"

» In the End It's Either Working for You or it Aint

And I could wax ad nauseam on the subject .. but, in the end, you just have to trust your gut instinct when you ask yourself, "Is this girl good for me? Is this thing working for me? Is this relationship working for me?"

Because, if it's not working for you, then it's probably not working for her either. It is not functioning for either of you. Another way to say "not functioning" is » dysfunctional ..

.. particularly if the relationship is working in a bad or negative way. If it is sucking the life out of you. (If your partner has » negative energy.).

You can't make a relationship work all by yourself. Try it for yourself and you'll see what I mean. And it won't take you very long, either.

This is because working relationships require two committed souls.

» There Doesnt have to be a Villain if the Relationship Is No Longer Working

If a relationship isnt working, and it hasnt been working for a while .. and it doesnt seem like it is ever going to work again .. then why are you still together?

Dont you want to find somebody who works for you, and with you? (I would.)

Just because a relationship isnt working, it doesnt necessarily mean that there must be a bad person involved. Selena knows what I am talking about.

There could certainly be a bad person .. but it probably just means that you two are simply not compatible. (For any number of a million different reasons we could come up with very easily.)

» Seven Days that Changed My Life

Each of those 7 days, she goes deep fast. And she always uses a route that you would never have expected .. a different route every day..

She packages this sampling of her repertoire as a direct and honest challenge to see how many days you can make it .. as she tests different parts of you.

Perhaps she may access your psyche through a vulnerability that you hadnt recognized.

Sometimes she does this thing where it feels like she is standing right behind me .. so that I can actually feel her hot breath on the back of my ears .. while her words themselves feel like an electric current .. going down into me. Like an erotic electric current.

I am practiced myself at this edging challenge that Shibby presents.

I have found that, when the creative energy is really flowing .. like, on its own .. this is when the girls can sense it.

And they want to get in on some of that creative energy action .. that is pulsating through you.

» What are You Doing?

One time, however, I dated this girl who did not like my edging.

Though I dont really think of it as edging. I think of it as conserving energy. Sexual energy is still energy. And energy can be channeled into creativity. It can be sublimated.

After she had been well serviced, I slowly pulled out and dismounted. She said, "What are you doing?"

I said, "I'm conserving my energy."

» You're Not Going Anywhere Like That

She said, "You're not going anywhere like that .. with that loaded thing. Now come lie down here and let me take care of you right-proper."

I do not recall her exact words, but the bottom line was that she was not comfortable with the idea of me finishing without finishing.

Needless to say, I did not do very much writing while I was with this girl. But I did have lots of sex .. nearly every night. And yes, it was good. Very good. Great, even.

She was the only girl who was not cool with my finishing without finishing.

» Consuming the Nutritious Fruit of My Sexual Energy

I also dated a girl who could always tell exactly when I was getting ready to blow.

At just the right time, she would scrambled into position and take me into her mouth .. so she could swallow everything I produced.

I mean, this was her norm. She did it all the time. And she never mis-timed. Not even one time. She could always tell when the time was right.

I never had another girlfriend who did this. She was basically feeding off of me.

She said that semen is very nutritious and makes her hair shine.

She did indeed have shiny hair .. thanks to me. She said that I produced a lot of semen. That's nice to know.

She was an outstanding lover. Certainly one of the best I ever had.

» I've Never Done that Before

I did however, have another lover who once said, after a blowjob in the car one night, "I've never done that before."

I said, "Done what?"

He said, "Swallowed."

"Oh .. really?" I said, and I thought about my swallowing friend.

I did not tell her my story, but I said, "I heard it makes your hair shiny."

» Managing Your Sexual Energy in Order to Fuel Your Creative Energy

The writer needs to be smart about his sexual energy .. and spend it wisely. Artists in general, I would assume.

Most of the time, the term 'wisely,' as used just above .. this refers to spending your sexual energy on your » writing. But not always. And especially not when the moon is full.

But my point here is that I have plenty of experience with edging. I didnt know that it was called that. I just happened to incorporate the practice into my lifesyle .. as a way to conserve my energy and my drive .. from women wanting to drain me dry.

You basically satisfy your lover a time or two, and take your own pleasure right up to the edge .. and then press the pause button before you discharge all your sexual energy.

I dont generally take it too close .. because I dont want to risk the juicy-juice. And because, if you come too close, it has a disorienting feeling on you.

Even after four or five days of edging .. you can definitely feel the sexual energy buzzing. I dont think I have ever made it a whole week through.

When I wrote that I was throwing down every day at sunset .. I was not exaggerating. No, sir. (Olivia Wilde knows what I am talking about.)

» Channeling the Super-Charged Sexual Energy from Edging into Your Writing

When you have this edging super-charged sexual energy thing going on .. this is where you can do a special type of writing.

You can channel it into your writing .. this pressure-charged volcano ready to explode. Pressurized writing.

I know that this sounds like some crazy shit .. the writer is going to need every advantage he can find.

Guys who are trying to impress super-hotties will go to great lengths.

I remember going back to read something that I had written to Ariana long enough ago that I had forgotten about it.

And I would think, reading this stuff from a fresh perspective » "I am trying to impress this girl so much .. that I am impressing myself."

Now, that's what you call motivation. Motivation is important for the creative type. Very important.

Muses are familiar with inspiring and motivating their artistic companions to produce their best work.

» Is this an Idea that Sparks Something in You?

Right near the end of her brief 90-sec file, Shibby says, "How do you like that idea? Does that speak to you? Does that spark something inside you?"

If feels like she is standing right behind your ear. When she says this, I could feel her hand come around and stroke me a few times .. as she asked these questions.

It's all in the hands, you know. That where the secret power is hidden. In the touch. It takes a lot of practice .. tuning and adjusting the frequencies to experience just the right vibe.

There is much more to it .. about how she is able to do what she does .. and why it has such an affect on me.

Sometimes she will share little insights about the psychology behind her psycho-erotic kinks that she uses to fuck with your mind.

I did not know that girls like this even existed.

I should probably mention Give In and Mine, too. Two States of Mind. Know Your Place. The Power of No. Agreement. Deep Therapy. Dont worry, I'll be legal tomorrow. And of course, My Sweet Boy.

» When it Feels Like I Can Feel Their Intention Directed Directly at Me

This thing here .. where it feels like they are directing their intention directly at me .. this is kind of a trippy thing.

Because it suggests or implies that my secret thing is being discovered .. which would suggests that it can't be long now.

I was talking about this back on New Years day in an entry titled » When it Feels Like Super-Hotties are Talking Directly to Me (1 Jan 2019).

When I listened to Shibby talk about the idea of making a baby .. I did indeed feel like she was talking directly to me. (I was not trying to feel this way.)

Note that this section on feeling like I am feeling intention directed directly at me has been moved to its own page .. see here » Feeling the Erotic Effects of Intuited Intention (17 Aug 2019).

» You have Never Heard Anything like Aurelia's Audiophilia - Voice Addiction

On the subject of hearing sexy voices saying sexy things .. erotic things .. you must hear Ms Alder's file titled » Audiophilia - Voice Addiction (19 mins).

When she says the word rewarded .. as in » ".. you will be rewarded." I thought that I had never heard a word spoken like that .. that made me feel all those things .. just by her speaking a word in a certain way. With a certain emphasis.

It feels like they load up the word with all this energy, and penetrating eroticism. It feels like a giant paint brush full of pleasure flows through you for few secs.

What a voice .. elevated to the level of an art form. I have never heard another like it. Her Good Boy 1 and Good Boy 2 are in a league of their own.

I mean, if you can't be a good boy for Ms Alder .. then what good are you? Bad boys get punished, you know.

» Using My Own Words Against Me

I have heard Shibby use specific words and phrases that she knows will speak to me in a way that gets my attention and which comes with an element of recognition.

For example, at the end of the baby-making file, she asks, "Does that speak to you?" Then she asks, "Does that spark something in you?"

Fucking eh, right it speaks to me. It speaks to me in a way I have never heard before. How could anybody not be interested in hearing more?

The part where she says "Releasing and letting go and filling me up."

The voice in the back of my head was saying, "That might be the most erotic thing I've ever heard."

The part where she says "filling me up," .. that was something else.

I remember thinking that she was talking directly to me, in a personal sort of way .. when she said that.

I thought about it later .. and the voice in my head said, "That's what crazy people think."

» I am Known for My Baby-Making Prowess

I happen to make good babies, you know. Even people who hate my guts will freely admit as much.

I won't even mention all the times have people told me that I was the best dad they had ever seen. I mean, why would I?

I can hear my ego saying "Dude, you are flirting with the queen of psycho-erotic mind-fucking chicks. And she has you in her sights. It's just a matter of time now."

I know that I have the thing she wants. She knows that I know. I can hear her talking to me.

One time she said the word » DIRECT .. as a way to describe her chosen method of communication for that particular file.

Sometimes, when she says a certain word a certain way .. I can feel it in places I did not even know existed.

Like when an unexpected surge might pulse through you.

When these women want to emphasize a certain word, they know how to do it.

She once said, "It's not so much what I say, but rather how I say it." .. directly contrary to my description of Marshall's art.

» Time for Rest-n-Relaxation

After a long, hard day of chronicling the end of the world .. and I am exhausted, emotionally and other ways .. I will lie down and relax and burn a little incense, maybe.

Then I will get comfortable and listen to one of her tracks .. or maybe some ASMR with my ear-phones set deep.

What is better than a seductive woman's voice deep in your ear? Telling you stories that you've never heard before. And making you feel things that you've never felt before.

Lemme know what you find.

» Becoming Classically Conditioned to Respond

Just the act of going to her web page to grab the link .. I could feel my nuts going into high-alert mode, tightening like a cobra preparing to strike.

It's like you are classically conditioned like Pavlov's dog to respond to her in specific ways.

It happens on its own.

It's definitely a trippy experience. I am still exploring things as I go. I am trying to figure out the lay of the land .. the erotic land. The psycho-erotic landscape.

Where dominant women rule and enjoy nothing better then telling you everything you will need to know.

I have always been curious about exploring new lands, new cultures, new ways of doing things, new techniques, new experiences. I think this is because my folks were protective of me when I was growing up.

I have found that such things have a mind-expanding and world-expanding effect on me. My folks were limited in their experiences and in their mindsets. And I knew that I didnt want to be like them.

» A Still-Developing Application of Avant-Garde Eroticism

And the practice is still very new, from what I understand.

When was the first example of a hypno-erotic mind-fuckery session being recorded? I dont think it was very long ago.

I mean, it wasnt that long ago when these super high-quality microphones became available, along with digital technology and affordable recording equipment.

I won't even get into the audio editing programs that are now available .. some of them are even free, such as Audacity, which I think Shibby uses.

» She has Never Come Across Anything the Likes of Me Before

She may be the queen of psycho-erotic mind-fuckery .. but she has never seen anything the likes of me before.

I might be the greatest writer who ever lived .. at least, that's what everybody keeps telling me.

Anyway, I have been learning a lot from her lately. Sometimes she will speak to the psychology behind the technique.

I will learn her tricks and then use them against her .. flavored with my own signature special sauce, of course.

» Letting Things Happen Naturally and Organically vs Forcing Them

I am surprised at how easily and organically and naturally I fell into this theme.

Last thing I remember was talking about how badly I was in need of some sweet respite along with things being whispered in my ears that I should write.

These two themes together - whispering in my ears and feeling like I needed some sweet respite - these two themes together made me think of Shibby.

I didnt plan it that way. Rather a door appeared unexpectedly. And I thought, "Oh, it is now already?"

As a writer, I can see that there are things that I would write to Shibby .. that I probably wouldnt write to anybody else. (Because she takes me to places that I didnt even know existed.)

"What kind of places?" you ask?

I dont know if you could handle it. I know that I was having trouble handling some of it myself.

I have some questions that I want to ask her.

» What Percentage of the Finished Product is Credited to the Author?

One of the things that I am curious about is that .. I notice that she credits many of her files as being written by other people.

So who is it that is really fucking with my mind? I know that she is giving voice to the script, and improvising where she seess fit .. but you must give a substantial degree of credit to the original author.

It is sort of like a director who interprets a screenplay or a novel.

As someone who puts things into words myself, I can't help but give much of the credit to the original author.

» Born This Way?

In one of her files, I heard her say (at t=17:00) "I was a sub once. I'm not anymore. There was a fundamental shift." .. and this was the reason why she understood the mind of a submissive so well.

"It's how I know what you're thinking." 

I would be lying if I said that I wasnt interested in this "fundamental shift."

In another file, I heard her say that a true submissive is born that way ( "It's in your nature. It's who you are." ) .. which seems a contradiction .. if you can have a fundamental shift.

I am of the opinion that a fully functioning individual needs to be able to be both dominant and submissive .. as the situation requires.

You need to be able to adapt to whatever it is that the situation requires. No?

Sometimes you will need to adopt a more dominant posture .. while other times, you will need to adopt a more submissive posture.

The terms dominant and submissive infer a reference to authority and authority structures.

I actually know a lot about authority and how it works and how it is used and the structures in which authority is exercised.

Scripture is full of references to authority and submitting to authority and those who refuse to submit.

For example, notice what Paul says here .. that an inability to "submit" to God's method of righteousness is the thing that kept people out of a right-relationship with him.

The term self-righteous describes people who try to put themselves into a right relationship with God through their own efforts, such as doing good works and whatnot.

Unfortunately, you simply cannot be that good. Nobody can. It's not humanly possible. You'll see what I mean .. sooner or later.

Submitting is not the easiest thing to do .. particularly when the person wielding authority over you is an incompetent piece of shit.

Guys who act tough often do so as an effort to hide or camouflage their deep-seated feelings of insecurity. I bet that Fedor would agree with me here.

Ms Alder has an interesting file on submission here.

» You Need a Considerable Degree of Self-Confidence and Self-Worth Before You Can be Comfortable Letting Yourself Adopt a Submissive Posture

It might sound like a paradox, but you need to develop a considerable degree of self-confidence and self-worth and self-esteem ..

.. before you can be comfortable letting yourself adopt a truly submissive posture.

At least, it was for me.

No one has ever accused me of not having a healthy ego. But I have purposely stepped out of my comfort zone time and again .. in order to challenge myself with things that were difficult for me.

In one of her files, Shibby says (something like), "I want you to feel strong about yourself .. I really do. Just not with me."

Remind me to tell you the story about what the lady said to me .. when I was standing across the street from Zinc Cafe downtown Laguna.

We were standing in or near the parking lot to the post office there. ( I moved so many times while living in Laguna .. that it was easier to just get a PO Box there. $44/year. It saved me from having to do so many address changes.)

I was with a girl, and she was talking to this lady there. The three of us formed a little circle.

» Why Does This have Such a Powerful Effect on Me?

At the very beginning of this file, Shibby says, "I'll tell you why this works on you."

I felt here that she was talking directly to me. She had my full and undivided attention at that point. Many things she says in this file speaks to me .. in such deep ways that I do not even understand myself.

But I can't deny the effect that her words and her ideas have on me.

When she says things like, "I have you right where I want you," this speaks to me in a deep way.

» On the Bleeding Edge of an Avant-Garde Art Form

I am also interested in the origins of hypno-erotic files .. the earliest known origins. This artistic crafting of these files can't be very old. It seems a relatively new thing.

In this way, she seems to be on the cutting edge of a new art form. Avant-garde.

I mean, I have been to many museums .. but I have never seen a painting that made me feel like this.

I have read many poems .. but never one that made me feel things like this.

Erotic novels are probably the closest .. but even they never made me feel such things.

I can feel myself trying to figure it out .. intellectually.

Even making love with a beautiful creature .. I dont know that I have ever felt such things .. so strongly.

How can this be?

» What is it About Some Women that Seems to Evoke and Bring Out a Submissive Part of Me?

I will admit however, that there is something about a naturally dominant woman that intrigues me .. that captivates me .. and makes me adopt a more submissive posture.

A more submissive attitude. A more submissive demeanor. I am not normally known to be submisssive.

Though such women are rarities.

It is not like they are trying to be something they are not. But rather, they are allowing themselves to be more fully who they truly are.

The end. ■

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